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Air shows cancelled for fear of terrorist attacks


Eric Cuntman

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So, the majority of planned air shows have been binned around the country. The reason is that the local authorities cannot afford the extra security measures required in the current climate of Islamic terrorist threat. Perhaps a compromise might be this, we load up all the aircraft carriers with every bomber and jet fighter we can lay our hands on, sail them off to the Middle East, and fucking destroy Syria and any other cunting shithole that poses a threat. The resultant fireworks display could be streamed live to giant screens around the country. That way the public can have an air show far more entertaining than some fucking slapper from reality TV doing a wing walk on a bi-plane, and the world will become a safer place in the process.

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Guest Lady Penelope
12 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Exactly bubs, you only need to fly them to Luton.

Not sure of you end game here, but you have missed Huddersfield, Leeds and Bradford out. Indeed for good measure you need to nuke all of Yorkshire and probably the whole of Manchester and Lancashire as well.

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4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Air shows are for fags. Thats why Sunderland has one every year.

Don't sully the site by uttering the name of that foul pit of destitution and poverty. Mackems have eyes as dead as Baron Samedi and the whole place absolutely fucking stinks of microwaveable Rustler burgers. I spent half a day there five years ago and I still have flashbacks every time I see the thunderous sausage skin thighs of a fat slapper with a multi-seat perambulator.

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5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Don't sully the site by uttering the name of that foul pit of destitution and poverty. Mackems have eyes as dead as Baron Samedi and the whole place absolutely fucking stinks of microwaveable Rustler burgers. I spent half a day there five years ago and I still have flashbacks every time I see the thunderous sausage skin thighs of a fat slapper with a multi-seat perambulator.

I'm sorry, Decs. I truly am. Last time I went there there was a bunch of ratty looking chavs swimming in the duck shit filled pond at the park and a horrendously fat single mother screaming at her four year old child because he kept crying about his sun burn. Was the main street still a horribly cobbled piece of "art" with every third piece missing? I'm a Geordie so I only ever went once as a child before they could justify murdering me on sight for being the superior race.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Spackers don't burn. Too much drool, you see.

If there is a god, the core to the 10 megaton cruise missile cracked and the fuckers will glow in the dark until they fucking kick off.  

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Guest I know that Cunt
1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

So, the majority of planned air shows have been binned around the country. The reason is that the local authorities cannot afford the extra security measures required in the current climate of Islamic terrorist threat. Perhaps a compromise might be this, we load up all the aircraft carriers with every bomber and jet fighter we can lay our hands on, sail them off to the Middle East, and fucking destroy Syria and any other cunting shithole that poses a threat. The resultant fireworks display could be streamed live to giant screens around the country. That way the public can have an air show far more entertaining than some fucking slapper from reality TV doing a wing walk on a bi-plane, and the world will become a safer place in the process.

Eric great nom.

With any luck President Donald will do just that.

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

So, the majority of planned air shows have been binned around the country. The reason is that the local authorities cannot afford the extra security measures required in the current climate of Islamic terrorist threat. Perhaps a compromise might be this, we load up all the aircraft carriers with every bomber and jet fighter we can lay our hands on, sail them off to the Middle East, and fucking destroy Syria and any other cunting shithole that poses a threat. The resultant fireworks display could be streamed live to giant screens around the country. That way the public can have an air show far more entertaining than some fucking slapper from reality TV doing a wing walk on a bi-plane, and the world will become a safer place in the process.

Fuck off Eric. I enjoy my hobby of bi-plane wing walking. 

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33 minutes ago, I know that Cunt said:

Eric great nom.

With any luck President Donald will do just that.

The only problem with the Yanks spearheading an attack on the Middle East is that the UK is almost certainly going to be hit by some stray ordnance in 'friendly fire incidents', we shall just have to tough it out in the underground stations and have a sing-song and a few mugs of Bovril.

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Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

The only problem with the Yanks spearheading an attack on the Middle East is that the UK is almost certainly going to be hit by some stray ordnance in 'friendly fire incidents', we shall just have to tough it out in the underground stations and have a sing-song and a few mugs of Bovril.

Don't forget your gas mask. The asbestos filters will keep you safe.

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2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The only problem with the Yanks spearheading an attack on the Middle East is that the UK is almost certainly going to be hit by some stray ordnance in 'friendly fire incidents', we shall just have to tough it out in the underground stations and have a sing-song and a few mugs of Bovril.

Why doesn't everyone tell the USA to fuck off and learn how to fight their own wars.

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How long before our leaders close all pubs, stop selling pork and ban Christmas on public safety grounds?  They are promoting their own agenda using ISIS as an excuse. Fucking appeasers.

The best form of defence is attack. Fire up the Sopwith Camels and unleash the Dreadnoughts.

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