Britons Who Want to Emigrate to Australia

[Decimus]

There's normally at least a couple of these in any typical workplace. Absolute fucking bores, who have watched a couple of episodes of Neighbours and now want to leave everything behind to go get bitten on the arse by a fucking funnel web spider in a desolate fucking shithole.

They'll tell you at least five times a day about how it's a "better quality of life Down Under", but can't actually qualify that statement. If you ask them to, they just throw in a couple of disjointed sentences and constantly repeat the words "Down Under", which in itself is a phrase only used by simpletons.

Despite living in the worlds fifth largest economy, which is culturally and politically at the centre of the world, they are under the impression that living in a fucking desert that is 10 years behind the U.K. in most aspects, is preferable to being here.

Throw yourselves on the fucking barbie, you deluded, Fosters drinking cunts.

[Eddie]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

There's normally at least a couple of these in any typical workplace. Absolute fucking bores, who have watched a couple of episodes of Neighbours and now want to leave everything behind to go get bitten on the arse by a fucking funnel web spider in a desolate fucking shithole.

They'll tell you at least five times a day about how it's a "better quality of life Down Under", but can't actually qualify that statement. If you ask them to, they just throw in a couple of disjointed sentences and constantly repeat the words "Down Under", which in itself is a phrase only used by simpletons.

Despite living in worlds fifth largest economy, which is culturally and politically at the centre of the world, they are under the impression that living in a fucking desert that is 10 years behind the U.K. in most aspects, is preferable to being here.

Throw yourselves on the fucking barbie, you deluded, Fosters drinking cunts.

Beautiful Decs, i enjoy hearing how great it is down under by these cunts, especially the ones who have not even set foot in Australia, ps those aborigines need clearing out the lazy immigrants.

[colonelkurtz]

Not to mention the blubbing Mother and Father in downtown Dagenham/Runcorn/Walsall who don't think they should be abandoned by their shithouse children fucking off to the other side of the world don't you know , not to mention that cunt of an an 'usband that daughter Cheryl chose to marry .. and besides , they can't get decent sanitary towels in Osstralia yer know.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, colonelkurtz said:

Not to mention the blubbing Mother and Father in downtown Dagenham/Runcorn/Walsall who don't think they should be abandoned by their shithouse children fucking of to the other side of the world don't you know , not to mention the cunt of an an 'usband that daughter Cheryl chose to marry .. and besides , they can't get decent sanitary towels in Osstralia yer know.

Most Ozzy Sheila's use sheep.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

"Wanted Down Under" typifies these cunts. Fucking traitors the lot of 'em. There should be a clause in place whereas any fucker who leaves isn't allowed back.   

[Eric Cuntman]

31 minutes ago, Decimus said:

There's normally at least a couple of these in any typical workplace. Absolute fucking bores, who have watched a couple of episodes of Neighbours and now want to leave everything behind to go get bitten on the arse by a fucking funnel web spider in a desolate fucking shithole.

They'll tell you at least five times a day about how it's a "better quality of life Down Under", but can't actually qualify that statement. If you ask them to, they just throw in a couple of disjointed sentences and constantly repeat the words "Down Under", which in itself is a phrase only used by simpletons.

Despite living in worlds fifth largest economy, which is culturally and politically at the centre of the world, they are under the impression that living in a fucking desert that is 10 years behind the U.K. in most aspects, is preferable to being here.

Throw yourselves on the fucking barbie, you deluded, Fosters drinking cunts.

I can't be around Australians for too long. That fucking annoying inquisitive speech habit they have, where their voice goes up at the end of every sentence. It makes me want to stab them in the face with a sharpened Digeridoo, which has been dipped in diseased Wallaby shit. And Australian women are all degenerate slutbags who have the fidelity traits of a Benobo chimp.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

13 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I can't be around Australians for too long. That fucking annoying inquisitive speech habit they have, where their voice goes up at the end of every sentence. It makes me want to stab them in the face with a sharpened Digeridoo, which has been dipped in diseased Wallaby shit. And Australian women are all degenerate slutbags who have the fidelity traits of a Benobo chimp.

The only difference between an Australian and yogurt, is that yogurt has some culture.

[Decimus]

2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

The only difference between an Australian and yogurt, is that yogurt has some culture.

Another difference is that yogurt is only eaten by cardigan wearing paedophiles, but Australians are regularly eaten by every fucking creature that moves 'Down Under'.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

I cannot be certain, but the Roo is Welsh.

 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

There's normally at least a couple of these in any typical workplace. Absolute fucking bores, who have watched a couple of episodes of Neighbours and now want to leave everything behind to go get bitten on the arse by a fucking funnel web spider in a desolate fucking shithole.

They'll tell you at least five times a day about how it's a "better quality of life Down Under", but can't actually qualify that statement. If you ask them to, they just throw in a couple of disjointed sentences and constantly repeat the words "Down Under", which in itself is a phrase only used by simpletons.

Despite living in worlds fifth largest economy, which is culturally and politically at the centre of the world, they are under the impression that living in a fucking desert that is 10 years behind the U.K. in most aspects, is preferable to being here.

Throw yourselves on the fucking barbie, you deluded, Fosters drinking cunts.

 

Pile of fucking bollocks.  Please get on the next prison hulk, float yourself a thousand miles south, then set fire to it.

 

Oh yes,

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Despite living in worlds fifth largest economy, which is culturally and politically at the centre of the world, they are under the impression that living in a fucking desert that is 10 years behind the U.K. in most aspects, is preferable to being here.

When's your BNP membership due for renewal?

 

 

 

56 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Most Ozzy Sheila's use sheep.

I thought that was the blokes that use the sheep?

[Bubba C]

37 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Another difference is that yogurt is only eaten by cardigan wearing paedophiles, but Australians are regularly eaten by every fucking creature that moves 'Down Under'.

Ha ha, fuck off, my next masterpiece was going to be "Cunts who 'eat' yogurt". It would probably have included a reference to the salty, protein-rich version some resident cunts guzzle down, but you know it would have been a corker. 

Regarding wannabe Aussie cunts, I hate them. I know a couple of the cunts who went there in search of riches, beautiful women and sandy beaches, but soon returned after having to pay £8 for a loaf of bread, and finding fuck all work besides fruit picking, the flamin' galahs. 

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Bubba C said:

Ha ha, fuck off, my next masterpiece was going to be "Cunts who 'eat' yogurt". It would probably have included a reference to the salty, protein-rich version some resident cunts guzzle down, but you know it would have been a corker. 

Regarding wannabe Aussie cunts, I hate them. I know a couple of the cunts who went there in search of riches, beautiful women and sandy beaches, but soon returned after having to pay £8 for a loaf of bread, and finding fuck all work besides fruit picking, the flamin' galahs. 

... How do you know it tastes salty, Bubba? And before you say one of your girlfriends told you please remember that sheep are incapable of speech no matter how much your feverish Welsh mind insists otherwise.

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, Bubba C said:

Ha ha, fuck off, my next masterpiece was going to be "Cunts who 'eat' yogurt". It would probably have included a reference to the salty, protein-rich version some resident cunts guzzle down, but you know it would have been a corker. 

Regarding wannabe Aussie cunts, I hate them. I know a couple of the cunts who went there in search of riches, beautiful women and sandy beaches, but soon returned after having to pay £8 for a loaf of bread, and finding fuck all work besides fruit picking, the flamin' galahs. 

Indeed. A stupid cunt I know moved over there and in the weeks prior to leaving was boasting about the fact that he would be paid 15k a year more for doing the same job. As he was a fucking retard who did his research via the school of Ding, i.e., reading a 1994 edition of Encyclopedia Britannia, he didn't realise the disparity in the cost of living. So he was more than a little surprised when he was paying 7 dollars for a pint of fucking Foster's piss water to try and drown out his depression after realising that he would end up spending two thirds of his income on rent, and the remaining third on toothpaste.

I haven't spoke to him in a while, but I'd like to think that he was dead.

[Roadkill]

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

 

I haven't spoke to him in a while, but I'd like to think that he was dead.

That would be the most likely outcome. It's not like the shit hole is lacking in countless ways of ensuring it's inhabitants suffer agonizing and undignified deaths.

Steve Irwin thought he knew what he was doing and look what happened to him. And he was fucking born there.

[Bubba C]

11 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Indeed. A stupid cunt I know moved over there and in the weeks prior to leaving was boasting about the fact that he would be paid 15k a year more for doing the same job. As he was a fucking retard who did his research via the school of Ding, i.e., reading a 1994 edition of Encyclopedia Britannia, he didn't realise the disparity in the cost of living. So he was more than a little surprised when he was paying 7 dollars for a pint of fucking Foster's piss water to try and drown out his depression after realising that he would end up spending two thirds of his income on rent, and the remaining third on toothpaste.

I haven't spoke to him in a while, but I'd like to think that he was dead.

A silly old cunt I used to work with many years ago used to drone on about how her son was "living the high life" over there, had cracked it and had a "fantastic job", blah blah, fucking blah. 

Turns out the soppy little weed was shacked up in little more than a garden shed with about 5 other retards, dreaming 'Point Break' style of catching the ultimate surf, dude. 

Suffice to say the simpleton returned with crippling debt after being bailed out by his parents on numerous occasions and I believe still lives the dream whilst living at his parents house. 

[Guest Snatch]

Oh great,now we'll have Apple boring the fuck out of us with his shenanigans "down under".

[Guest 'eavensabove]

37 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Indeed. A stupid cunt I know moved over there and in the weeks prior to leaving was boasting about the fact that he would be paid 15k a year more for doing the same job. As he was a fucking retard who did his research via the school of Ding, i.e., reading a 1994 edition of Encyclopedia Britannia, he didn't realise the disparity in the cost of living. So he was more than a little surprised when he was paying 7 dollars for a pint of fucking Foster's piss water to try and drown out his depression after realising that he would end up spending two thirds of his income on rent, and the remaining third on toothpaste.

I haven't spoke to him in a while, but I'd like to think that he was dead.

Much the same as the countless idiots who've gone to Ibiza, to set up a Fish & Chip shop and to get a 'real taste of Spain' 

[Guest Gong Farmer]

It wouldn't be my cup of sick. Too much sheep shit and flies.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

3 hours ago, Snatch said:

Oh great,now we'll have Apple boring the fuck out of us with his shenanigans "down under".

APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Lady Penelope]

Australia gave us Uncle Rolf

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Gong Farmer said:

It wouldn't be my cup of sick. Too much sheep shit and flies.

Agreed, but at least it's warmer than fucking Wales.

[Guest deebom]

Everyone I know who has moved there has come back home saying the same thing. Australians are a bunch of racist plebs, and it's too expensive.

[Neil]

Its like an old womans fanny,sweaty,overgrown,you know where it is but you dont want to fucking go there

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Hmm...I must respectfully disagree with some of the assessments of Ozzy shielas....being a fan of certain sports in which women excel, I can offer some examples of top shelf Aussie minge.

Michelle Jenneke....who can forget that little warm up routine of hers before a race?

Then the lovely and talented Stephanie Rice...

Plenty where they came from!  

Put it away Neil, you creepy cunt!  

[southerncunt]

Listen to you wankers. How many of you cunts have been here, rather than "a mate I knew went there once"....?

At least you keyboard expert whingeing gobshites are over there. We already have enough of you cunts here as it is!

31 and sunny here in Melbourne today. Shove that up your arse.