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The latest shit gimmick.


Witheredscrote

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Anybody else seen the t.v. ad that has started airing.  V. I. POO,  I kid you not, a pre-dump handbag size spray that gets rid of the smell of shit. Just spray  in the water. A little container will set you back £ 10!!.   ' Stop being embarrassed about leaving a bad odour ' they say.  Fuck off, I like the next user's eyes to fucking water with the stench I have left. I just hope the stupid cunts who make this can supply in 5 litre containers. That rancid old cunt Lady Pen would need at least that amount.

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29 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

They're wasting their time trying to flog this to the French. Those cunts would probably try to drink it, which is actually understandable as it couldn't be any worse than Beaujolais Nouveau.

At least it would improve on that classic froggy breath. This may be an achievement man has needed since the dawn of time, the next step in human evolution if you will. Who knows what we could accomplish with non-stinking French people? At the very least it would make killing them more bearable.

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Guest DingTheRioja

I saw that ad and had to check it wasn't april 1st or Red Nose Day, they really are coming up with shit we don't need.

Just like that IR soap dispenser "so you don't catch germs", YOU'RE ABOUT TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS FOR FUCKS SAKE!

 

* Withers, if you need any explanation as to what soap is, fuck off, ok?

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Guest Lady Penelope
4 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

Anybody else seen the t.v. ad that has started airing.  V. I. POO,  I kid you not, a pre-dump handbag size spray that gets rid of the smell of shit. Just spray  in the water. A little container will set you back £ 10!!.   ' Stop being embarrassed about leaving a bad odour ' they say.  Fuck off, I like the next user's eyes to fucking water with the stench I have left. I just hope the stupid cunts who make this can supply in 5 litre containers. That rancid old cunt Lady Pen would need at least that amount.

I might like a Ding post out of spite for this.

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26 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

I saw that ad and had to check it wasn't april 1st or Red Nose Day, they really are coming up with shit we don't need.

Just like that IR soap dispenser "so you don't catch germs", YOU'RE ABOUT TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS FOR FUCKS SAKE!

 

* Withers, if you need any explanation as to what soap is, fuck off, ok?

You shameless fucking idiot.

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A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. 

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16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. 

Don't give us all that rubbish. You 'top deck' them don't you? 

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30 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. 

Cunts who don't courtesy flush grind my balls. Once you're laid your cable flush the steamer for fucks sake, don't leave it there, 4 inches poking out the water, polluting the atmosphere for the next poor bastard to gag on. Get shot of it then you can read the FT at your leisure.

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35 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. 

Your observational toilet humour is second to none, Eric.

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44 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't give us all that rubbish. You 'top deck' them don't you? 

I just looked it up on urban dictionary, and I'm shocked that a lady would even know of such a thing! Putting a whole bottle of fairy liquid in the cistern is fun though, watching the victim being chased out of the bog by a foam monster.

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I just looked it up on urban dictionary, and I'm shocked that a lady would even know of such a thing! Putting a whole bottle of fairy liquid in the cistern is fun though, watching the victim being chased out of the bog by a foam monster.

Done it a few times when anyone pissed me off 

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2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. 

I do this in my own house. I don't like getting a wet arse and balls when I open the bay doors. Strange how the smallest nuggets always make the biggest splash...

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

They're wasting their time trying to flog this to the French. Those cunts would probably try to drink it, which is actually understandable as it couldn't be any worse than Beaujolais Nouveau.

And it would make their garlic infused breath seem moderately tolerable.

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8 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You're becoming more surreal than Ratty. 

That cunt out of Aswad was in it too, and they had a fat cunt long before it became de riguer. "Doughnut", he was called, which isn't terribly PC but you've got to start somewhere I suppose.

There was a also cunt called "Sticks". With a name like that you'd think he'd be a raspberry, but no. He was American, though, so the writers probably reckoned that was handicap enough. Also, the lazy cunts probably couldn't be arsed working out a different humorous way to get him up the stairs every week.

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Guest DingTheRioja
2 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

The queen and I do not shit. However, one has just flushed the water closet and the tradesman chappie is in there now replacing the boiler. :rolleyes:

I've seen some videos about the plumber coming round, never heard it called replacing the boiler...

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16 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Is that leaving two Desmonds in the pan?

You're closer than you might think! I've got the fucking theme tune stuck in my head now, an earworm that will probably be there all weekend. Still, I don't see why I should suffer alone...

 

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Guest Lady Penelope
14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

You're closer than you might think! I've got the fucking theme tune stuck in my head now, an earworm that will probably be there all weekend. Still, I don't see why I should suffer alone...

 

The fat cunt who played Doughnut died of a heart attack in 2011

doug02.jpg

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