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The Devil's Hour


Guest nobgobbler

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Guest nobgobbler

I've been waking up at the same time every night for the past year and it's doing my head in. Regardless of what time i go to bed or what time I get up, I always wake up at 3am to find myself trying to decide whether or not that shadow on the ceiling is some demon cunt after my soul coz I don't believe God, or if it's just Agent Peanut having a laugh. It's no joke, fuck off.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Does your body automatically adjust to BST and it really is 3am or does it suddenly become 4am for about 6 months? Do you need a piss when you wake? If yes, this is a good thing as it can't be that many years before you start pissing the bed, you old bucket fannied tart. 

Good morning, by the way.

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3 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

I've been waking up at the same time every night for the past year and it's doing my head in. Regardless of what time i go to bed or what time I get up, I always wake up at 3am to find myself trying to decide whether or not that shadow on the ceiling is some demon cunt after my soul coz I don't believe God, or if it's just Agent Peanut having a laugh. It's no joke, fuck off.

This is a subtle form of punishment from God for being a disbelieving wanker and sodomite.It will be a lot worse for you when you are sent to Hell.

Repent whilst you have the chance.

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Guest Lady Penelope
29 minutes ago, Punkape said:

This is a subtle form of punishment from God for being a disbelieving wanker and sodomite.It will be a lot worse for you when you are sent to Hell.

Repent whilst you have the chance.

Oh my god, god help us!

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Guest Lady Penelope
45 minutes ago, Punkape said:

This is a subtle form of punishment from God for being a disbelieving wanker and sodomite.It will be a lot worse for you when you are sent to Hell.

Repent whilst you have the chance.

At the time that Mr God gave one to Mary he must have been at least 4,000 years old .. the dirty old cunt :angry:

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Guest nobgobbler
1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

At the time that Mr God gave one to Mary he must have been at least 4,000 years old .. the dirty old cunt :angry:

Does such a massive age difference make him a paedo?

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Guest nobgobbler
3 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Does your body automatically adjust to BST and it really is 3am or does it suddenly become 4am for about 6 months? Do you need a piss when you wake? If yes, this is a good thing as it can't be that many years before you start pissing the bed, you old bucket fannied tart. 

Good morning, by the way.

Cheeky cunt. Good morning.

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6 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

I've been waking up at the same time every night for the past year and it's doing my head in. Regardless of what time i go to bed or what time I get up, I always wake up at 3am to find myself trying to decide whether or not that shadow on the ceiling is some demon cunt after my soul coz I don't believe God, or if it's just Agent Peanut having a laugh. It's no joke, fuck off.

That shadow on the ceiling could be from the clock radio light shining through the bedside lampshade - I know ours was. So a scientific explanation for everything you see. Praise the Lord and alleluia - you're not a bad person after all !

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8 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

 I always wake up at 3am...

Before taking this as definitive evidence for the existence of our Lord Satan, we should first eliminate the improbable.

You haven't actually got the alarm set for 3am have you, you dozy tart?

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Guest 'eavensabove
8 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

I've been waking up at the same time every night for the past year and it's doing my head in. Regardless of what time i go to bed or what time I get up, I always wake up at 3am to find myself trying to decide whether or not that shadow on the ceiling is some demon cunt after my soul coz I don't believe God, or if it's just Agent Peanut having a laugh. It's no joke, fuck off.

I'm told that I take a shit at approximately the same time, but then again I don't wake up 'til Noon. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

At the time that Mr God gave one to Mary he must have been at least 4,000 years old .. the dirty old cunt :angry:

I think you'll find it was a missed conception.

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Guest 'eavensabove
21 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Before taking this as definitive evidence for the existence of our Lord Satan, we should first eliminate the improbable.

You haven't actually got the alarm set for 3am have you, you dozy tart?

I set my alarm for 6, which is waste of time as there's only the two of us.

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Guest nobgobbler
2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Before taking this as definitive evidence for the existence of our Lord Satan, we should first eliminate the improbable.

You haven't actually got the alarm set for 3am have you, you dozy tart?

If possible I would set my alarm for 7, but unfortunately my pet seagull hates having a key stuck up its arse. 

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Guest DingTheRioja
9 hours ago, Punkape said:

This is a subtle form of punishment from God for being a disbelieving wanker and sodomite.It will be a lot worse for you when you are sent to Hell.

Repent whilst you have the chance.

Gobbie is a wanker and a sodomite?

I knew I liked her....

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
17 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

I've been waking up at the same time every night for the past year............  I always wake up at 3am..............

 

You're cured you dumbass. You don't actually wake up at night. 3am is in the morning, not the night.

No need to thank me. Fuck off.

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