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The Imminent Return Of The Cunting Premier League Season


Ape™️

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Guest Snatch
5 minutes ago, Ape said:

Saturday August 12th - the festival of obscenely overpaid wankers begins again. I fucking hate fucking football.

Fuck off.

I agree Apers and as we know by now,a game for poofs and irons.

Cunts the fucking lot of them.

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Guest Manky

That Brazilian faggot, Neymar is on a cool half a million per week, in 2 weeks he earns as much as I will earn in my working life. I would like to play against him for half an hour until the grim reaper drags my lifeless, exhausted corpse to a better place. He may be a world class player, let's see how he does against a world champion faggot mutilater and Olympic gold medallist cunt kicker.

Those 50 gays didn't throw themselves in the canal you know.

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20 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Common ground here too. My loathing of all things football is matched only by my hatred of earwigs and lemon curd

An aunt of mine makes a super lemon cheese.

When I have a sore knob I stick it in the pot and it acts as a nice soothing balm. The flavour remains unimpaired.

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41 minutes ago, Ape said:

Saturday August 12th - the festival of obscenely overpaid wankers begins again. I fucking hate fucking football.

Fuck off.

Agreed. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to avoid it in one form or another. 30 years ago you might has seen a professional player down the local having a pint and a bensons, not anymore. Plus they used kick fuck into each other with no yellow cards. Fuck the England football team.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
6 minutes ago, Ape said:

When you have a sore knob? I always had you down as a (very) wide receiver.

He gives discount if they give him an aggressive reach around.

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Guest Spanky
26 minutes ago, Punkape said:

I was stung by a wasp on the golf course some months ago and a nasty infection ensued.......the lemon cheese was an excellent ointment.

 

Were you trying to bum the wasp?

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1 minute ago, Punkape said:

Actually no.....I was trying to reach a rather attractive hedgehog in the same thicket as the Wasp.

Idiot.

Fuck off.

I typed "sexy hedgehog" into google to find a funny picture to reply with but the barrage of Sonic the Hedgehog related autism was too much to bear. The fuck is wrong with kids these days?

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2 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

I typed "sexy hedgehog" into google to find a funny picture to reply with but the barrage of Sonic the Hedgehog related autism was too much to bear. The fuck is wrong with kids these days?

Don't click on any of the yellow ones. They might lead you to Chris-Chan.

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Just now, Punkape said:

No.....but unfortunately she knows about the hedgehog.

Lol.

Cretin.

Normally I'd want to know how you stopped the hedgehog splitting (duct tape is the recommended method, I'm told) but I can't imagine your needle dick splitting anything bigger than a ladybird.

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