Cunts whose outside security lights come on when you're not on their property

[Stubby Pecker]

So coming back into the village after a chilly night run and every other fucker has a midnight sun, laser beam detection light that comes one when I'm running up the middle of the road. These illuminate the surrounding hectare scaring the shits out of me, local owls and poor bastard hedgehogs trying to bed down till April. Death by firing squad, no blindfold, is the only option for these motherfuckers. 

[camberwell gypsy]

They don't realise that these lights come with a sensor adjuster gizmo. Either they don't realise or they don't give a fuck.

[Guest Lord McCunty]

Most of the cunts round here don't realise that a floodlight can be installed at an angle other than completely horizontal.

[Cap'n Cunt]

Personally, I like my security lights to come on when any cunt is within half a mile of my gaff so I have plenty of time to get settled into a comfortable shooting position.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

5 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Personally, I like my security lights to come on when any cunt is within half a mile of my gaff so I have plenty of time to get settled into a comfortable shooting position.

More like with your cock in your hand peeping through the gap in the curtains.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

They provide a degree of security for pissy punker's when he is sleeping in his cardboard ox.

[Jiggerycock]

8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

They don't realise that these lights come with a sensor adjuster gizmo. Either they don't realise or they don't give a fuck.

And given the number of front gardens' in which you've slept over the eons and stardates, you'd be quite the expert

[PANZER MURPHY]

10 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

So coming back into the village after a chilly night run and every other fucker has a midnight sun, laser beam detection light that comes one when I'm running up the middle of the road. These illuminate the surrounding hectare scaring the shits out of me, local owls and poor bastard hedgehogs trying to bed down till April. Death by firing squad, no blindfold, is the only option for these motherfuckers. 

Run and you won't be chilly. ..quite the opposite actually 

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

20 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

So coming back into the village after a chilly night run and every other fucker has a midnight sun, laser beam detection light that comes one when I'm running up the middle of the road. These illuminate the surrounding hectare scaring the shits out of me, local owls and poor bastard hedgehogs trying to bed down till April. Death by firing squad, no blindfold, is the only option for these motherfuckers. 

Don't be bothered by the lights coming on, concern yourself with the sound of sudden rapid acceleration from the old leaded petrol burning land barge with a large block motor bearing down on you.  

[Eric Cuntman]

3 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Don't be bothered by the lights coming on, concern yourself with the sound of sudden rapid acceleration from the old leaded petrol burning land barge with a large block motor bearing down on you.  

That reminds me of my beloved Volvo 240, or Audikiller as I used to call it.

[Guest N/A]

On 01/11/2017 at 10:05 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

So coming back into the village after a chilly night run and every other fucker has a midnight sun, laser beam detection light that comes one when I'm running up the middle of the road. These illuminate the surrounding hectare scaring the shits out of me, local owls and poor bastard hedgehogs trying to bed down till April. Death by firing squad, no blindfold, is the only option for these motherfuckers. 

I do agree with this nom,however it is useful to have free lighting provided by the neighbours three trillion candle search light, especially when the 50p runs out in the metre.  Happens to punk shape all the time, or cunt face, whatever he's called.