Guest Bill Stickers Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Every once in a while I venture out of my flatshare-with-a-front-room, for a few pints with my odious mates. Forgetful fucker that I am, I sometimes end up with my visit coinciding with the pub quiz. If I haven't played it for a while I forget how monumentally boring they are, and throw my hat and quid in. Within a few rounds of dogshit questions about shit music mash ups, human interest stories lifted straight from yesterday's Daily Star, and picture-rounds fit for a 4 year old child I'm at the end of my fucking tether. Despite all the other competitors looking like a bunch of dopey glue eaters, one team is invariably a pair of profoundly autistic Rainman Bawsey types who take the whole thing very seriously and haven't missed it for 17 years (apart from when one them had a panic attack when his peas touched his ketchup). Theres also usually a bunch of fucknuckles who look like they only crawled down from a tree last week and have 1 GCSE betweeen them constantly cheating on their phone and fooling no one but themselves. This leads to a neck and neck race to win the £6.79 prize pool and a complimentary packet of party rings between the biggest sets of cunts in the room, second only of course to whatever total wanker is playing the role of quizmaster. Where do they find these people? Who on earth gives up their free time to devise three hours of such tedium, and then follow through with presenting it each week to 9 alcoholics and a dog? They are either some over-excitable aspiring TV presenter who can't get any work since they got a 2.1 in Drama, or a monotoned, drawling noncey type in a thick sweater and thicker rimmed glasses. Fuck you and fuck your bonus bingo round, you deeply suspicious individual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Do you see your 'odious mates' for a few pints when you're not commenting, Bill? It must have a rare sense of occasion about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 I think I'd have got the first question right if it was "Name the biggest cunt in the room whos name begins with 'B' " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Neil said: I think I'd have got the first question right if it was "Name the biggest cunt in the room whos name begins with 'B' " No idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Albert Ross said: No idea. Followed by "A" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 13 minutes ago, Neil said: Followed by "A" Barack? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 17 minutes ago, Neil said: Followed by "A" Barrett Strong ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Barry White? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 3 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: ...one team is invariably a pair of profoundly autistic Rainman Bawsey types who take the whole thing very seriously and haven't missed it for 17 years (apart from when one them had a panic attack when his peas touched his ketchup). You won't be surprised to learn that I'm seldom on the losing team when it comes to pub quizzes, but if I do more than one a year these days it's above average. My middle daughter (I love her obviously, but gawd bless 'er, she's no rocket scientist) seems to somehow know the artist, lyrics, and year of release of every song that's charted since 2000, along with how many homosexuals are in each band, and who's shagging which celebrity, She can even tell the fucking Kardashians apart! Talk about your idiot savant. Between us we're pretty much unbeatable. PS Oh, and if you put your peas in a separate bowl (on the left, of course) cross-contamination is effectively eliminated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: You won't be surprised to learn that I'm seldom on the losing team when it comes to pub quizzes, but if I do more than one a year these days it's above average. My middle daughter (I love her obviously, but gawd bless 'er, she's no rocket scientist) seems to somehow know the artist, lyrics, and year of release of every song that's charted since 2000, along with how many homosexuals are in each band, and who's shagging which celebrity, She can even tell the fucking Kardashians apart! Talk about your idiot savant. Between us we're pretty much unbeatable. PS Oh, and if you put your peas in a separate bowl (on the left, of course) cross-contamination is effectively eliminated. Like autist, like daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 1 hour ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Like autist, like daughter. Not bad, although I’d have preferred “the autist never falls far from the tree”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Hat wearing cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 19 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Hat wearing cunts Proper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 32 minutes ago, Decimus said: Proper? Khunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 45 minutes ago, Decimus said: Proper? 13 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Khunt. Never has one sad cunt misjudged abortion sentiment so badly, and still managed to crawl his way into a site admin/owner position. Fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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