Cunts Who Significantly Slow Down Ridiculously Early Before A Set Of Traffic Lights

[Decimus]

More specifically cunt, singular, in particular my fucking wife. 

I've noticed whilst being in the car with her this week, that within 40 metres of a set of traffic lights that are green, she drastically slows down to the average pace of a shuffling spice addict. I have no idea what the fuck she is playing at, but the amount of times that the lights have turned red due to her fucking dawdling is starting to piss me off.

If slow and steady and being a complete fucking spastic wins the race, she's an Olympic champion.

[Cuntybaws]

8 minutes ago, Decimus said:

More specifically cunt, singular, in particular my fucking wife. 

I hope you're going up her arse hard and dry tonight, and every night until she learns better.

Mrs Baws is not one who normally swears unnecessarily, but even she has been to known to scream "cunt" at people who do this.

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

More specifically cunt, singular, in particular my fucking wife. 

I've noticed whilst being in the car with her this week, that within 40 metres of a set of traffic lights that are green, she drastically slows down to the average pace of a shuffling spice addict. I have no idea what the fuck she is playing at, but the amount of times that the lights have turned red due to her fucking dawdling is starting to piss me off.

If slow and steady and being a complete fucking spastic wins the race, she's an Olympic champion.

My particular bugbear with traffic lights is the pedestrians that use the crossings. An increasingly large number of them will wander towards the lights, beside a completely empty road, not thinking to cross it while it's safe enough to do so, until they reach the lights, and then press the fucking button just as the first car for 5 minutes approaches, and bingo, 4 way gridlock for the next 3 minutes while the gormless pedestrian waits for the little beep that tells them it's safe. Nannied fucking cunts with no common sense or pragmatic inclination.

[Guest Lord McCunty]

I hate cunts who rag up to red traffic lights then slam the brakes on.   You go slow on approach and can avoid having to stop altogether.   More economical and smoother.   

[camberwell gypsy]

Cunts who sit for around 3/4 seconds after the light has gone green makes my shit hang sideways. Especially if it's one of those lights that fucking change every 10 seconds.

[White Cunt]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

More specifically cunt, singular, in particular my fucking wife. 

I've noticed whilst being in the car with her this week, that within 40 metres of a set of traffic lights that are green, she drastically slows down to the average pace of a shuffling spice addict. I have no idea what the fuck she is playing at, but the amount of times that the lights have turned red due to her fucking dawdling is starting to piss me off.

If slow and steady and being a complete fucking spastic wins the race, she's an Olympic champion.

Has Mrs Decs a large collection of fines and multiple points on her licence? A multitude of bad experience with traffic cameras, cops and previous speeding fines, may be playing on her mind, resulting in this snail trailing. Or it could just be her mind going down the shitter and you have only just noticed. Oh dear. How is she dealing with roundabouts?

[Decimus]

25 minutes ago, White Cunt said:

Has Mrs Decs a large collection of fines and multiple points on her licence? A multitude of bad experience with traffic cameras, cops and previous speeding fines, may be playing on her mind, resulting in this snail trailing. Or it could just be her mind going down the shitter and you have only just noticed. Oh dear. How is she dealing with roundabouts?

She's always driven like a complete cunt, but it seems to be exasperated whenever I'm in the passenger seat and bellowing into her stupid fucking face.

If her driving skills carry on deteriorating at this rate, it won't be long before she does an Anton Yelchin. Which is good, because it will save me the effort of throttling her to death out of sheer frustration.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Upon the sighting of a red light under any circumstance, will have Neil slamming on more than just his breaks. His initial reflex-action, is to reach for his Viagra Connect swipe-card and then, (and whilst still at the wheel) he quickly peruses how many points on said Card that he has accumulated. However, more times than not, his points amount to no more than for the price of quick wank, utilising anything he has at hand in his glove box. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

She's always driven like a complete cunt, but it seems to be exasperated whenever I'm in the passenger seat and bellowing into her stupid fucking face.

If her driving skills carry on deteriorating at this rate, it won't be long before she does an Anton Yelchin. Which is good, because it will save me the effort of throttling her to death out of sheer frustration.

Have you not considered providing her with her own motor? Frank's currently selling his own for a snip.

[Ape™️]

5 hours ago, Decimus said:

More specifically cunt, singular, in particular my fucking wife. 

I've noticed whilst being in the car with her this week, that within 40 metres of a set of traffic lights that are green, she drastically slows down to the average pace of a shuffling spice addict. I have no idea what the fuck she is playing at, but the amount of times that the lights have turned red due to her fucking dawdling is starting to piss me off.

If slow and steady and being a complete fucking spastic wins the race, she's an Olympic champion.

Does she also stop at roundabouts before looking to see if she is able to enter, as if driving and looking are two mutually exclusive tasks? If she does, I recommend that you kill the bitch. Kill her dead.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Decs, I'm finding it difficult to picture her, and feeling somewhat perplexed. Does the woman look Left-Left, Left and Left, again and again before or after attempting a 3 point turn in a one-way street?  She may simply be in need of some Driving Lessons and a Drivers Licence application form. What's she like parking up?

Edited August 7, 2018 by 'eavensabove
HGV Codes of Practice.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

The correct way to drive off from a green light is to lay rubber with a burnout with your foot right down, pussy. I bet you drive a 1 litre Nissan Micra.

lool 

fuck off

[Ape™️]

3 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

The correct way to drive off from a green light is to lay rubber with a burnout with your foot right down, pussy. I bet you drive a 1 litre Nissan Micra.

lool 

fuck off

Unless you have something of worth to say, which we all know is extremely unlikely, it’s best for all concerned if you just shut the fuck up, you mindless cretin.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

1 minute ago, Iam Ape said:

Unless you have something of worth to say, which we all know is extremely unlikely, it’s best for all concerned if you just shut the fuck up, you mindless cretin.

It's best for all concerned that you go and play with your model planes  you no mark wanker.

[Earl of Punkape]

Just now, Iam Ape said:

Unless you have something of worth to say, which we all know is extremely unlikely, it’s best for all concerned if you just shut the fuck up, you mindless cretin.

You’re off topic on a different nomination now.

As a community leader you should know better.

[Decimus]

8 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

The correct way to drive off from a green light is to lay rubber with a burnout with your foot right down, pussy. I bet you drive a 1 litre Nissan Micra.

lool 

fuck off

Who the fuck are you talking to? You thick lipped, heavy-browed spastic cunt.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

Just now, Decimus said:

Who the fuck are you talking to? You thick lipped, heavy-browed spastic cunt.

Sounds more like you to be honest. Turnip headed yokel cunt.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Who the fuck are you talking to? You thick lipped, heavy-browed spastic cunt.

Mind yourself, the cunt has Level 39 status and a P45.

Edited August 7, 2018 by 'eavensabove

[camberwell gypsy]

3 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

Have you not considered providing her with her own motor? Frank's currently selling his own for a snip.

Looks like the cunts lost the rest of his Messerschmitt. 

[Ape™️]

20 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

It's best for all concerned that you go and play with your model planes  you no mark wanker.

Sorry, but what does being ‘no mark’ entail? 

[Guest Erroreptile404]

8 minutes ago, Iam Ape said:

Sorry, but what does being ‘no mark’ entail? 

You know what it means you non entity.

[Decimus]

22 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

Sounds more like you to be honest. Turnip headed yokel cunt.

Fucking Quality!

I'm red faced and Simon Weston crispy from your subsequent "I know you are, I said you are..." burn.

What else have you got up your snot-covered sleeve? A fart joke? A natty catchphrase?

Simpleton.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Fucking Quality!

I'm red faced and Simon Weston crispy from your subsequent "I know you are, I said you are..." burn.

What else have you got up your snot-covered sleeve? A fart joke? A natty catchphrase?

Simpleton.

Lets have some more of your stumbling around in a shitty field in norfuck at night stories, they were well funny they were! Train wanker.

[Ape™️]

15 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

You know what it means you non entity.

No, I don’t. Please enlighten me, dopey. 

[Guest Erroreptile404]

1 minute ago, Iam Ape said:

No, I don’t. Please enlighten me, dopey. 

You think you're hot shit but you're really a nobody just like a few other tossers on here