Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 28, 2018 Report Share Posted August 28, 2018 Well, if the newspapers are anything to go by, then having objects up your arse is on the increase in Holland... A man is in critical condition after having had 15 hard-boiled eggs shoved up his shit-pipe whilst being drugged. The hapless cunt in the Netherlands (who has not been identified) was under the influence of GHB, reports the Dutch magazine: Gezondheidszorg (Healthcare) A hospital Dr has said: "The patient started getting stomach pains following a night-out and upon his arrival to hospital he had a heartbeat of 120 beats per minute and tachypnoea. (29 rapid breaths per minute) "Physical examinations showed abdominal guarding over his entire stomach. We carried out a CT scan as we suspected abdominal Sepsis, and found a perforation of the pelvic colon and a huge amount of air and fluids in his cavity..." Dutch Police are treating the case as suspicious and have issued warnings not to leave drinks unattended... Photo courtesy of Punkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted August 28, 2018 Report Share Posted August 28, 2018 Ostrich, goose, chicken, or platypus eggs? Very lax reporting there 'eavens. This is more Punkape's thing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 28, 2018 Report Share Posted August 28, 2018 (edited) 18 minutes ago, DrCunt said: Ostrict, goose, chicken, or platypus eggs? Very lax reporting there 'eavens. This is more Punkape's thing: I guess that you meant Laxative rather than lax? They'reLeatherback Turtle eggs, I believe. All said, I'd wager that the Dutch cunt is in a bit of a scramble... (I've got me coat on) Edited August 28, 2018 by 'eavensabove Never put all of yer eggs in a basket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 28, 2018 Report Share Posted August 28, 2018 1 hour ago, DrCunt said: Ostrich, goose, chicken, or platypus eggs? Very lax reporting there 'eavens. I like ostriches, but I couldn't eat a whole one. Fuck off, MikeD, just... fuck off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 13 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Well, if the newspapers are anything to go by, then having objects up your arse is on the increase in Holland... A man is in critical condition after having had 15 hard-boiled eggs shoved up his shit-pipe whilst being drugged. The hapless cunt in the Netherlands (who has not been identified) was under the influence of GHB, reports the Dutch magazine: Gezondheidszorg (Healthcare) A hospital Dr has said: "The patient started getting stomach pains following a night-out and upon his arrival to hospital he had a heartbeat of 120 beats per minute and tachypnoea. (29 rapid breaths per minute) "Physical examinations showed abdominal guarding over his entire stomach. We carried out a CT scan as we suspected abdominal Sepsis, and found a perforation of the pelvic colon and a huge amount of air and fluids in his cavity..." Dutch Police are treating the case as suspicious and have issued warnings not to leave drinks unattended... Photo courtesy of Punkers. Punkape goes out every weekend and drugs himself. Always ends up,with his arse in tatters cum Sunday morning and often has to remove two or three ripped comdoms, a gallon of spunk, crayons and the occasional toy soldier from his anal cavity before going to sing songs in a stone building with other cunts who believe in fairies, but only catholic ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 7 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: Punkape goes out every weekend and drugs himself. Always ends up,with his arse in tatters cum Sunday morning and often has to remove two or three ripped comdoms, a gallon of spunk, crayons and the occasional toy soldier from his anal cavity before going to sing songs in a stone building with other cunts who believe in fairies, but only catholic ones. He has been known to retain an entire clutch for several months on end, before then farting a flock of flamingos. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 23 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Well, if the newspapers are anything to go by, then having objects up your arse is on the increase in Holland... A man is in critical condition after having had 15 hard-boiled eggs shoved up his shit-pipe whilst being drugged. The hapless cunt in the Netherlands (who has not been identified) was under the influence of GHB, reports the Dutch magazine: Gezondheidszorg (Healthcare) A hospital Dr has said: "The patient started getting stomach pains following a night-out and upon his arrival to hospital he had a heartbeat of 120 beats per minute and tachypnoea. (29 rapid breaths per minute) "Physical examinations showed abdominal guarding over his entire stomach. We carried out a CT scan as we suspected abdominal Sepsis, and found a perforation of the pelvic colon and a huge amount of air and fluids in his cavity..." Dutch Police are treating the case as suspicious and have issued warnings not to leave drinks unattended... Photo courtesy of Punkers. I wondered if he egged him on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 16 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I wondered if he egged him on? He came out his shell and was all white in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 This could be just an animal lover performing a very altruistic and kind act. Eggs need a sustained temperature not unlike inside the human body to reach maturity and hatch. He may have been simply incubating these eggs with the intention of starting his own free range chicken venture. People always jump to the wrong conclusion where anal incubation is concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 3 minutes ago, luke swarm said: This could be just an animal lover performing a very altruistic and kind act. Eggs need a sustained temperature not unlike inside the human body to reach maturity and hatch. He may have been simply incubating these eggs with the intention of starting his own free range chicken venture. People always jump to the wrong conclusion where anal incubation is concerned. I guess that you meant Jump in all directions? By all accounts, the eggs had been boiled prior to insertion, but whether or not they were poached on a rolling-boil for 3-4 minutes is not recorded. Suffice to say that the eggs were beyond a desired state in which to dunk your soldiers in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: He came out his shell and was all white in the morning. Don't. Just fucking don't. The yolk will be on you. Ah bollocks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: I guess that you meant Jump in all directions? By all accounts, the eggs had been boiled prior to insertion, but whether or not they were poached on a rolling-boil for 3-4 minutes is not recorded. Suffice to say that the eggs were beyond a desired state in which to dunk your soldiers in. boiled eggs you say, well the only explanation that is plausible is that he was trying to enact the scene out of "Cool Hand Luke" and simply became confused as to the correct orifice for insertion of the aforementioned foreign objects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: Don't. Just fucking don't. The yolk will be on you. Ah bollocks! He was hatching a plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: He was hatching a plan. You're really coming out of your shell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 (edited) 22 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You're really coming out of your shell. I've been eating too much eggplant whilst listing to Reggae. Edited August 29, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: I guess that you meant Jump in all directions? By all accounts, the eggs had been boiled prior to insertion, but whether or not they were poached on a rolling-boil for 3-4 minutes is not recorded. Suffice to say that the eggs were beyond a desired state in which to dunk your soldiers in. Everyone's got to have a hobby... Copyright Spotto circa 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 It isn't that rectal shenanigans are on the increase in Holland, incidents being reported are up. Deviant little fuckers will make ankle grabbing antics the next big thing across Europe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 3 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: He came out his shell and was all white in the morning. Is that meant to be a yolk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 And I thought the Dutch just stuck their thumb in any random hole they see. Although I wouldn't recommend they try it on any lesbians or any other dyke. I'll get my clogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 16 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: And I thought the Dutch just stuck their thumb in any random hole they see. Although I wouldn't recommend they try it on any lesbians or any other dyke. I'll get my clogs. Fucking lezzers are hypocritical cunts! They object to a man shoving his throbbing bar in their arse, but they'll take a 1m long double ender or a strap on harness with a face cock the size of a baby's arm and do ghastly things to each other, as if they're soft little pixie girls discovering the flower of their sexuality. Nowt wrong with any of them a proper seeing to won't cure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 3 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Fucking lezzers are hypocritical cunts! They object to a man shoving his throbbing bar in their arse, but they'll take a 1m long double ender or a strap on harness with a face cock the size of a baby's arm and do ghastly things to each other, as if they're soft little pixie girls discovering the flower of their sexuality. Nowt wrong with any of them a proper seeing to won't cure. "There's no such thing as lesbianism, it's just laziness" Kathy Burke. Gimme Gimme Gimme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 29, 2018 Report Share Posted August 29, 2018 4 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Fucking lezzers are hypocritical cunts! They object to a man shoving his throbbing bar in their arse, but they'll take a 1m long double ender or a strap on harness with a face cock the size of a baby's arm and do ghastly things to each other, as if they're soft little pixie girls discovering the flower of their sexuality. Nowt wrong with any of them a proper seeing to won't cure. You’ve been reading Tipping The Velvet again, haven’t you Wiz? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted August 30, 2018 Report Share Posted August 30, 2018 9 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Everyone's got to have a hobby... Copyright Spotto circa 2015 Stubby. You made certain yellow tie comments- but now all the chickens have come home to roost. Possibly all in your barnett, and for some years one , two, three , four - what is that ? It’s you squatting on a river bank counting otters with one of those clicking things. That is, if you’re not handcuffed to an oak tree elsewhere. You sprout caressing vegan cunt lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 30, 2018 Report Share Posted August 30, 2018 3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: You’ve been reading Tipping The Velvet again, haven’t you Wiz? If it's a tele thing, no....who needs the imbecile box when you need only walk into the main of town and see a freak show of cunts, and braying on about some shit or other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted September 1, 2018 Report Share Posted September 1, 2018 On 8/29/2018 at 3:06 PM, luke swarm said: This could be just an animal lover performing a very altruistic and kind act. Eggs need a sustained temperature not unlike inside the human body to reach maturity and hatch. He may have been simply incubating these eggs with the intention of starting his own free range chicken venture. People always jump to the wrong conclusion where anal incubation is concerned. Punkape tries to incubate gallons of spunk up his harris every weekend. I never thought of it as him trying to incubate little Punkapes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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