Guest Queefer Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 The brilliant young things at Tesco have decided that all their problems can be solved by inventing a brand new pikey shop called Jack's . I for one am sick of hearing about it and how amazingly cheap it is or isn't. Much thought has gone into the choice of name - it turns out the apostrophe was a last minute addition. Other names considered were Jerks , Wanks , and Jizzes, and, in an attempt to increase female patronage , Jill's, Rubs and Strums were all close calls.An early prototype name - Masturbates was thought far too posh. The thinking behind the name selections was to reinforce the idea that visiting this Pikey palace with its stocks of pure crap would be a memorable exercise in self abuse. The concept celebrates the British malady of chasing standards down to the very lowest level attainable and by all accounts may well succeed as theyplan to open 2412 branches in C/D socio economic areas before Christmas. I see little purpose in chasing low prices to economise by compromising service and quality. So long as Fortnums continue their excellent thrice weekly deliveries my butler and housekeeper shall doubtless continue to use them and I feel they can also count on Her Majesty's continuing patronage . The staff manage comfortably on their £2500 weekly budget , have never required more , and on occasions have underspent and returned as much as £20 a week to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 Punker's uses his Jack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 On balance, I much prefer Punky’s pretensions to this low budget Ryanair pile of shit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 Just now, White Cunt said: On balance, I much prefer Punky’s pretensions than this low budget Ryanair pile of shit. I told Eddie that this new character was shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: I told Eddie that this new character was shit. Yes my friend. It can’t get much lower than that. Unless we resurrect Keith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Yes my friend. It can’t get much lower than that. Unless we resurrect Keith. I never knew Keith, but I have looked through some of his old shite and he was actually very funny, in a spazzy kind of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 3 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Yes my friend. It can’t get much lower than that. Unless we resurrect Keith. I think it couldn't hurt, if I'm honest. With all the shit that has befallen the corner in recent months..allowed multi's, rule contraventions. Frank still being alive....bring back Keith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I never knew Keith, but I have looked through some of his old shite and he was actually very funny, in a spazzy kind of way. He had a certain flavour, old Keith. A mixture of diesel, bubble gum and old sock. Still, he added some value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 1 minute ago, White Cunt said: He had a certain flavour, old Keith. A mixture of diesel, bubble gum and old sock. Still, he added some value. Diesel, bubble gum and socks? you're the cunt I bought that quarter of soap bar off last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 31 minutes ago, Queefer said: The brilliant young things at Tesco have decided that all their problems can be solved by inventing a brand new pikey shop called Jack's . I for one am sick of hearing about it and how amazingly cheap it is or isn't. Much thought has gone into the choice of name - it turns out the apostrophe was a last minute addition. Other names considered were Jerks , Wanks , and Jizzes, and, in an attempt to increase female patronage , Jill's, Rubs and Strums were all close calls.An early prototype name - Masturbates was thought far too posh. The thinking behind the name selections was to reinforce the idea that visiting this Pikey palace with its stocks of pure crap would be a memorable exercise in self abuse. The concept celebrates the British malady of chasing standards down to the very lowest level attainable and by all accounts may well succeed as theyplan to open 2412 branches in C/D socio economic areas before Christmas. I see little purpose in chasing low prices to economise by compromising service and quality. So long as Fortnums continue their excellent thrice weekly deliveries my butler and housekeeper shall doubtless continue to use them and I feel they can also count on Her Majesty's continuing patronage . The staff manage comfortably on their £2500 weekly budget , have never required more , and on occasions have underspent and returned as much as £20 a week to me. I saw the photo of those cunts who started queuing at 3am outside. A few fat cunts and at least one on a mobility scooter. One of these wasters said "I just wanted to come out and see the price differences". At 3am??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 10 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: I think it couldn't hurt, if I'm honest. With all the shit that has befallen the corner in recent months..allowed multi's, rule contraventions. Frank still being alive....bring back Keith. He is probably doing time for fucking a sofa at the local tip in full daylight. Too plush to resist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I saw the photo of those cunts who started queuing at 3am outside. A few fat cunts and at least one on a mobility scooter. One of these wasters said "I just wanted to come out and see the price differences". British version of Idiocracy. It’s a pity a few tuskers weren’t swept under a bus, considering the winds we’ve been having. Still, there is hope at future openings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 Is this where the saying "Jackshit" came from? Any cunt that shops in Aldi or Lidl needs a fucking good kicking the scummy cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 9 minutes ago, White Cunt said: He is probably doing time for fucking a sofa at the local tip in full daylight. Too plush to resist. More like doing time for fucking some child he lured into his van with the promise of sweets and cider. Proper fucking nonce and no mistake- don't bring him back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 4 minutes ago, White Cunt said: British version of Idiocracy. It’s a pity a few tuskers weren’t swept under a bus, considering the winds we’ve been having. Still, there is hope at future openings. The size of these fuckers a hurricane wouldn't have shifted them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 Just another day in an English supermarket, really... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 29 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Yes my friend. It can’t get much lower than that. Unless we resurrect Keith. Resurrect Keith? Might be dangerous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Just another day in an English supermarket, really... They look more sophisticated and trim than your average shopper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 23 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: More like doing time for fucking some child he lured into his van with the promise of sweets and cider. Proper fucking nonce and no mistake- don't bring him back I doubt he has a licence, much less a van. He prefers to record youngsters on buses for later consumption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 42 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: More like doing time for fucking some child he lured into his van with the promise of sweets and cider. Proper fucking nonce and no mistake- don't bring him back Reported. LOL sorry Stubbs, couldn't resist! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Reported. LOL sorry Stubbs, couldn't resist! If you do see a disgusting fat blob swinging a katana like a spastic, it's you duty to report it. Children's arseholes are at stake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: If you do see a disgusting fat blob swinging a katana like a spastic, it's you duty to report it. Children's arseholes are at stake Throw a My Little Pony action figure at him and the katana will hit the ground faster than a frenchman's rifle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 30 minutes ago, White Cunt said: They look more sophisticated and trim than your average shopper. Bollocks, that's @Eddies three wives and adopted kid with his other civil partner, @Fatty Bet he has fun with those perfectly formed titties (all 6) the lucky bastard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Bollocks, that's @Eddies three wives and adopted kid with his other civil partner, @Fatty Bet he has fun with those perfectly formed titties (all 6) the lucky bastard He squeezed them to death. And that’s just his gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted September 21, 2018 Report Share Posted September 21, 2018 54 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Just another day in an English supermarket, really... "Oil spill in aisle 3" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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