Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 9, 2020 Report Share Posted May 9, 2020 10 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: How's your day been punkers? I've spent it with my family in the idilic Gloucestershire countryside that happens to be our home. On our afternoon stroll we heard cuckoo, wood warbler and lesser whitethroat, quietly watched a goshawk return to its nest with prey, and finished by barbecuing some find local meats for tea in our spacious wooded garden. How we peasants live VD Day, is spent as always by Punker's, with a casual stroll/mince to the clap clinic, accompanied by the all too familiar sounds of clunking stiletto heels, squelched flunkies underfoot, and what are known locally as nigger-sniggers: The back-stabber mating call of the Lesser-Spotted Rasta, which only frequent the dank alleyways of Brixton, in search of the even more scarce White Mimic-Titted Shag, that they fight tooth & claw over with the Black Deepthroated Grebe... Notwithstanding, Punker's fluff's-up his tail-feathers and puckers his stance, before going into what can be only be likened to the display of a Papa New Pygmy Gay-Bird of Parasite, which I am reliably informed by the Tok Pissin bystanders, was the inspiration behind Notting Hill Carnival's opening event which was subsequently responsible for the AIDS epidemic in and around Oval cricket ground and The Great Crash of Rice & Peas... further info is sketchy and somewhat thin on the ground, however according to the Index in the Ladyboy book of Common British Freaks, Punker's is listed in the hardback issue as being partial to: Scat; Fisting (both ways/hands/feet) DIY Dongs; Felching squirrels; Rimming Romanians and Boiling-hot enema's (when there's an "R" in the month) Tomorrow, he shaves his legs in readiness for Bang Holiday Monday, and that just about sums-up his current weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 9, 2020 Report Share Posted May 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: Jeez, your family been stalking me before I was born... Mr dear late sister-in-law was born in Port Harcourt around the same time. My husband's parents moved from Venezuela and spent two years at Owerri before moving back to S.America. My father-in-law worked for Shell. The old man often mentions Port Harcourt in his tales and of going up country into the mangroves to meet the head man when there were still canabals It was just after the Biafra war and the beaches were awash with human skulls. People inland we're starving to death yet there was plenty of food in the dock rotting and going to waste. The stupid fuckers were too lazy to deliver it. As for the place now, it's gone to total shit. Islamic nut jobs in the north and any trace of rainforest cut down. One shudders to think of what's been lost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted May 9, 2020 Report Share Posted May 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: The old man often mentions Port Harcourt in his tales and of going up country into the mangroves to meet the head man when there were still canabals It was just after the Biafra war and the beaches were awash with human skulls. People inland we're starving to death yet there was plenty of food in the dock rotting and going to waste. The stupid fuckers were too lazy to deliver it. As for the place now, it's gone to total shit. Islamic nut jobs in the north and any trace of rainforest cut down. One shudders to think of what's been lost Even back in the early 60's my mother-in-law couldn't wait to get the hell out of Nigeria and back to Venezuela, a country which offered Caribbean, Alpine and tropical rainforest scenery. She loved the Latin and Caribbean vibe mixed with American culture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 9, 2020 Report Share Posted May 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: Even back in the early 60's my mother-in-law couldn't wait to get the hell out of Nigeria and back to Venezuela, a country which offered Caribbean, Alpine and tropical rainforest scenery. She loved the Latin and Caribbean vibe mixed with American culture. I went to Los Roques a few years back. If theres a definition of paradise it's that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted May 9, 2020 Report Share Posted May 9, 2020 18 hours ago, Ape™️ said: I’m going to tell her to keep her eyes peeled for a weedy little faggot-poof, as it’ll undoubtedly be you. Christ, that's every other resident in the town, it's the ones with a skirt you've got to be wary of! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted May 10, 2020 Report Share Posted May 10, 2020 19 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I went to Los Roques a few years back. If theres a definition of paradise it's that. I've travelled to Venezuela several times with my husband who was born there - did all the sights, coastal regions and islands (though not Los Roques) the mountains and the rain forests including the Orinoco and of course, the Angel Falls at Canaima National Park. My last visit (alone) wasn't fun as the Chavez madness had gripped the country... On 12/12/2018 at 22:27, Mrs Roops said: The most nerve-wracking three days of my life was in Maracaibo and to use the vernacular, I was packing heat - completely unnecessary IMO as my employers also provided a security detail, who I was reliably informed, would look after me. They did look very capable and was reassured by how calm they were, almost nonchalant in fact. Nonetheless, I was pleased when I left the country. On 12/12/2018 at 22:46, Mrs Roops said: Neither, it was a mission to try and salvage a financial mess caused by the then President of Venezuela, one Hugo Chavez. My protection detail were former Spanish Foreign Legion personnel. Most of their clients were like me, reps from foreign businesses who could do little than watch their firm's investment disappear down the plug hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 Did you have a little pearl handled two shot tucked into yer garter roops baby? PANZERMURPHYBABY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 11, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 28 minutes ago, PANZER MURPHY said: Did you have a little pearl handled two shot tucked into yer garter roops baby? PANZERMURPHYBABY Tex Beneke was great on the sax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 2 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said: Did you have a little pearl handled two shot tucked into yer garter roops baby? PANZERMURPHYBABY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 Laffin PANZERMURPHYBABY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 6 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said: Did you have a little pearl handled two shot tucked into yer garter roops baby? PANZERMURPHYBABY If it was private ex-military, my money would be on a polymer framed Glock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: If it was private ex-military, my money would be on a polymer framed Glock. Tony Hancock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: If it was private ex-military, my money would be on a polymer framed Glock. Have you seen those Hi Point 45.'s the Yanks are making these days? Super cheap and simple, bulky design - its like they're making guns specifically for gang members to shoot teenagers for their trainers with and the morbidly obese all in one go: At least the majority of gun robberies over here still seem to rely on old Webley revolvers from the war. This new Tonka Toy shit would be very confusing to have waved in your face - looks like an Airsoft pistol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 47 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Have you seen those Hi Point 45.'s the Yanks are making these days? Super cheap and simple, bulky design - its like they're making guns specifically for gang members to shoot teenagers for their trainers with and the morbidly obese all in one go: At least the majority of gun robberies over here still seem to rely on old Webley revolvers from the war. This new Tonka Toy shit would be very confusing to have waved in your face - looks like an Airsoft pistol. Anything's better than the fucking awful Tec-9 favoured by black crackhead gang bangers. A vile and impractical piece of shite that looks like it should be a full auto but isn't. (Unless you file the bolt stop sear slightly round and hopefully blow it up when it goes full cycle) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 36 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Anything's better than the fucking awful Tec-9 favoured by black crackhead gang bangers. A vile and impractical piece of shite that looks like it should be a full auto but isn't. (Unless you file the bolt stop sear slightly round and hopefully blow it up when it goes full cycle) The 'Boy's Own Annual' has certainly changed. It used to be tying knots, Morse code and camping tips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 3 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Tony Hancock. Just to make it clear; it was Milo O'Shea and NOT Tony Hancock who played Durand Durand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 55 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Anything's better than the fucking awful Tec-9 favoured by black crackhead gang bangers. A vile and impractical piece of shite that looks like it should be a full auto but isn't. (Unless you file the bolt stop sear slightly round and hopefully blow it up when it goes full cycle) They're only used because you can shoot cunts through the window of your "mom's" old 1976 Cadillac Coup De Ville with $5,000 stolen rims as you cruise past the local 7/11. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Roadkill said: Have you seen those Hi Point 45.'s the Yanks are making these days? Super cheap and simple, bulky design - its like they're making guns specifically for gang members to shoot teenagers for their trainers with and the morbidly obese all in one go: At least the majority of gun robberies over here still seem to rely on old Webley revolvers from the war. This new Tonka Toy shit would be very confusing to have waved in your face - looks like an Airsoft pistol. The latest version ‘Saturday Night Special.’ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 4 minutes ago, King Billy said: The latest version ‘Saturday Night Special.’ Did you offer a “Saturday Night Special” in your massage parlour? Who made the tea? lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 2 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: Did you offer a “Saturday Night Special” in your massage parlour? Who made the tea? lol. I can’t remember. Was it one of your family members? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 3 minutes ago, King Billy said: I can’t remember. Was it one of your family members? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Reported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 3 hours ago, King Billy said: I can’t remember. Was it one of your family members? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I wonder what @Earl of Punkapes family think of him and if he pedals a similar line of bullshite with the poor bastards? I very much doubt he has any family that can stand him, certainly no kids as having sex with a woman is crucial to this. If there are any unfortunate kin folk who can bare being around this bollocks spewing, colossal bender then they, like us, must think he's a stupid fucking cunt and probably hope he dies very soon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: The 'Boy's Own Annual' has certainly changed. It used to be tying knots, Morse code and camping tips. You would know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 Just now, Wolfie said: You would know. Steady on wolfster, "she" can piss higher than you and grow a more manly beard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: If it was private ex-military, my money would be on a polymer framed Glock. I was under the impression that the lovely roops baby was carrying her own personal bit of ironmongery..hence the two shots..one for the peasant and one for herself if it came to it PANZERMURPHYBABY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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