Microsoft Windows

[Eric Cuntman]

23 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

It used to make a  pathetic bleeping noise when it had a paper jam and one day it had one paper jam too many .. it had an assisted passage to the floor.

We had a Nigerian woman at work in our office, employed as an admin assistant. You know the electric paper shredders with the motorised shredding bar built into the plastic lid? She tried to push about 30 sheets of A4 through it at once. Naturally it jammed up. She decided the best way to clear it was soaking the paper in lighter fluid and setting fire to it. True.

[camberwell gypsy]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

We had a Nigerian woman at work in our office, employed as an admin assistant. You know the electric paper shredders with the motorised shredding bar built into the plastic lid? She tried to push about 30 sheets of A4 through it at once. Naturally it jammed up. She decided the best way to clear it was soaking the paper in lighter fluid and setting fire to it. True.

Fucking hell Eric, you didn't know that that's how you clear a paper shredder of paper?

Next you'd be telling me you didn't know that pushing a photocopier over the office stairwell clears a paper jam! 

[Mrs Roops]

5 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

Do you know anything at all about disclosing convictions? Generally, it's only relevant if you're going into certain professions. My conviction is non violent, isn't sexual, and if anything has taught me a lot about life.

My conviction is considered spent, and my current boss didn't even ask. He's more concerned with deadlines being met, and my ability to work in a team. 

You're jealous Roops that's all. I do a job that you don't have the brain, or logic for.

I know the truth, and that is all that matters. I congratulate you on getting clean though, it can't have been easy. 

I suppose its a testament to your stupidity (or maybe desperation) that you choose to double down on the lying.

The Rehabilitation of Offenders Act schedule makes no distinction on the nature of the offence, only the sentence. The fact that your offending was not violent nor sexual is irrelevant. Statutory amendments made certain professions (eg medical professions, education, social care and voluntary organisations responsible for "vulnerable persons" ) exempt from the general schedule, in other words they have to declare the conviction irrespective of the sentence. 

Still with the straw man assertions I see...

[Mrs Roops]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

No thanks. But on a serious note I’m so pleased to see that you’re not in the slightest bit rattled.

😂😂😂💉💊🥛😂😂😂

Not withstanding you initially kicked off as a result of your monstering on another thread, your emoji overload rather gives you away. The words pot and kettle spring to mind.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Fucking hell Eric, you didn't know that that's how you clear a paper shredder of paper?

Next you'd be telling me you didn't know that pushing a photocopier over the office stairwell clears a paper jam! 

I remember you wrecking a photocopier by copying your arse on it. You probably don't remember that night. I was a bit heavy-handed with the Rohypnol in those days.

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

The words pot and kettle spring to mind.

The word rattled springs more  to mind, to be fair. But never mind.

[Last Cunt Standing]

21 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I remember you wrecking a photocopier by copying your arse on it. You probably don't remember that night. I was a bit heavy-handed with the Rohypnol in those days.

Was it an A3 copy, just out of interest?

[Eric Cuntman]

19 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Was it an A3 copy, just out of interest?

That was my tallywhacker. To give it its correct medical name.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I remember you wrecking a photocopier by copying your arse on it. You probably don't remember that night. I was a bit heavy-handed with the Rohypnol in those days.

That’s Rank.

[Last Cunt Standing]

I can remember picking glass out of a fat girls’ arse in Christmas party season many years ago. You can picture what she’d done. Came down rather hard on the Xerox, with her paper crown at a jaunty ankle, glass of Chateau de Kwik Save In her hand and her knickers round her ankles. I loved A&E in December, came home laughing every day. 

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I remember you wrecking a photocopier by copying your arse on it. You probably don't remember that night. I was a bit heavy-handed with the Rohypnol in those days.

You're a sick man, Eric  

[camberwell gypsy]

2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I can remember picking glass out of a fat girls’ arse in Christmas party season many years ago. You can picture what she’d done. Came down rather hard on the Xerox, with her paper crown at a jaunty ankle, glass of Chateau de Kwik Save In her hand and her knickers round her ankles. I loved A&E in December, came home laughing every day. 

I bet she was a student Dr. Scum of the earth they are. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I bet she was a student Dr. Scum of the earth they are. 

I quite agree. Popular with student nurses, mind. 

[Major Cunt]

13 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

I suppose its a testament to your stupidity (or maybe desperation) that you choose to double down on the lying.

The Rehabilitation of Offenders Act schedule makes no distinction on the nature of the offence, only the sentence. The fact that your offending was not violent nor sexual is irrelevant. Statutory amendments made certain professions (eg medical professions, education, social care and voluntary organisations responsible for "vulnerable persons" ) exempt from the general schedule, in other words they have to declare the conviction irrespective of the sentence. 

Still with the straw man assertions I see...

Are you a fucking solicitor as well now? Your ego is unbelievable, I really do pity Mr Roops! 

If he ever needs a friendly chat, do point him in my direction. I've dealt with my fare share of armchair experts in the past, but you really are in a league of your own. 

[Major Cunt]

9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I bet she was a student Dr. Scum of the earth they are. 

I disagree on that. There incredibly hypersexual, and go down quicker than an old lady on a frosty morning. The outfits just an added bonus! 

[Stubby Pecker]

On 25/08/2020 at 14:46, Mrs Roops said:

 

Not wishing to alarm but red screen on your device can mean 1/ problem with battery 2/ problem with sim card and 3/ malware infection.

Have you been messing with either the battery or sim card recently? Assuming its none of the aforementioned can you recall the error code displayed and/or the precise message given? Its possible your problems are caused by our server synch issues which always seem to surface after a major update, that being so you should clear the data history and cache on your device.

Still can't log in in a straight forward way on my phone- there's no icons or drop down menu for me to do so- I have to scroll to the bottom of a forum topic where you can.

Still can reply to any of the topics as there's no dialog box.

Once I've finally logged in there's no way I can see to log out.

Can add likes.

Can't start a new topic.

Whatever you and the computer boffins have done to the site you've all totally fucked it up. Either fix it so it actually works and roll it back so it does.

 

[Stubby Pecker]

13 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

We had a Nigerian woman at work in our office, employed as an admin assistant. You know the electric paper shredders with the motorised shredding bar built into the plastic lid? She tried to push about 30 sheets of A4 through it at once. Naturally it jammed up. She decided the best way to clear it was soaking the paper in lighter fluid and setting fire to it. True.

Lol

A certain orthopaedic consultant at a Devon hospital that did the original work bolting on pens pendulum like cock where her cunt had be stapled shut. 

[Major Cunt]

7 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Lol

A certain orthopaedic consultant at a Devon hospital that did the original work bolting on pens pendulum like cock where her cunt had be stapled shut. 

Any dodgy garage could have done that Stubbs, the old fashioned 'cut and shut'. It's a shame they didn't weld its fingers together! 

[Stubby Pecker]

1 minute ago, Major Cunt said:

Any dodgy garage could have done that Stubbs, the old fashioned 'cut and shut'. It's a shame they didn't weld its fingers together! 

Relax Major. I've been in email contact with pens ophthalmologist and slipped them a tenner to inject potassium dichromate solution into her eyes next check up. Its so keen to advertise this aspect of its sad life on these pages, they weren't hard to track down.

[Mrs Roops]

22 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Still can't log in in a straight forward way on my phone- there's no icons or drop down menu for me to do so- I have to scroll to the bottom of a forum topic where you can.

Still can reply to any of the topics as there's no dialog box.

Once I've finally logged in there's no way I can see to log out.

Can add likes.

Can't start a new topic.

Whatever you and the computer boffins have done to the site you've all totally fucked it up. Either fix it so it actually works and roll it back so it does.

 

I've had a closer look at the issue and it appears the system does not recognise the new default layout provided by the software house. This in turn is causing compatibility issues with certain devices user agents hence the problem. Apparently the upgrade wasn't completed. This is also causing other, otherwise hidden issues. Resolving this is beyond my pay grade so I have PM'd the owners to pull their fingers out and raise the appropriate ticket.

[Major Cunt]

14 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

I've had a closer look at the issue and it appears the system does not recognise the new default layout provided by the software house. This in turn is causing compatibility issues with certain devices user agents hence the problem. Apparently the upgrade wasn't completed. This is also causing other, otherwise hidden issues. Resolving this is beyond my pay grade so I have PM'd the owners to pull their fingers out and raise the appropriate ticket.

It's a common issue, and testing on every single os, and browser for every eventual possibility isn't plausible. As you well know, these fixes are done on the hoof with a patch or two, that's why we have updates. Personally, I've had no problems bar one server connection issue. 

The three dot ellipses also needs a label to the left containing the text "Options", just an idea? 

Edited August 27, 2020 by Major Cunt

[Mrs Roops]

2 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

Are you a fucking solicitor as well now? Your ego is unbelievable, I really do pity Mr Roops! 

If he ever needs a friendly chat, do point him in my direction. I've dealt with my fare share of armchair experts in the past, but you really are in a league of your own. 

Sourcing and reading publicly available documents from the UK government doesn't make one a solicitor, Major. Had you read the link previously provided you wouldn't have been in the pickle that you found yourself in.

As for Mr Roops, who being some 15 years older than me, considers himself a very fortunate man more so after an expertly administered knob-polishing session which is only a small part of my extensive repertoire of pre-carnal knowledge techniques.

[Major Cunt]

3 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Sourcing and reading publicly available documents from the UK government doesn't make one a solicitor, Major. Had you read the link previously provided you wouldn't have been in the pickle that you found yourself in.

As for Mr Roops, who being some 15 years older than me, considers himself a very fortunate man more so after an expertly administered knob-polishing session which is only a small part of my extensive repertoire of pre-carnal knowledge techniques.

I don't think I'm in a pickle. I will however concede that the information I was given re The Rehabilitation of Offenders Act 1974 was wrong, I'll give you that.

However, my sentence on appeal was under 4 years, deliberately given so that it didn't effect the next 60 odd years of my life. I'm incredibly grateful for that. These judges are not always the out of touch old codgers their perceived as! 

[King Billy]

55 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

As for Mr Roops, who being some 15 years older than me, considers himself a very fortunate man more so after an expertly administered knob-polishing session which is only a small part of my extensive repertoire of pre-carnal knowledge techniques.

Listening to your incessant bragging would necessitate a handful of viagra for any normal man to get it up. So your elderly husband considers himself a very fortunate man because you claim to be an expert masturbator. Wow. Absolutely astounding. 😂😂

[Mrs Roops]

7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Listening to your incessant bragging would necessitate a handful of viagra for any normal man to get it up. So your elderly husband considers himself a very fortunate man because you claim to be an expert masturbator. Wow. Absolutely astounding. 😂😂

I doubt your own spindly arms would be capable of completing a session of onanism. How do you manage?