Dyslexic cnut Posted June 23, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 7 minutes ago, Decimus said: I've got three and whilst they drive me to fucking drink, I love the little shits with all my heart. My eldest is a bit of a wet blanket and a mummy's boy, but he's a borderline genius and that gives him huge kudos with me. The middle boy is a tearaway, funny and a talented sportsman. And as for my two year old daughter, I'd rip the fucking head off of any cunt who so much looked at her in the wrong way. DC, I'm assuming this is all hyperbole and bluster, at least I fucking hope so. Mine are staggered, age-wise. Not once have all of them been ‘nice’ at the same time…except when the eldest was, say 13 years old. They are all selfish cunts and have been for a few years now. I’m hoping the eldest (26) is about to snap out of it as she’s just bought a house with a bloke, but even she has her moments. Give me boys anyday of the week, when the girls hit their mid-teen years, it wasn’t fuckin pretty around here! Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 2 hours ago, Roadkill said: Qualitah😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 2 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said: To the envy of many of my more careless mates, I have reached my early sixties without ever having changed a nappy. I have also never used an iron and have nether shaved nor worn a tie since the day I left school in 1978. You are Jeremy Corbyn and I claim my copy of Das Kapital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: It's either him or Father Christmas. Don't be stupid. He don't exist. Father Christmas does though. He comes down my chimney every year. I wish he'd masturbate down someone else's chimney. Cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 5 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I still can't get rid of my eldest. Married with 2 delightful grandsons who are adorable. Bought a big house in the sticks but made sure I have my own sitting room where I can lock the door and get away from them. Lend her and her hubby 120k to buy their share of the house and are paying me back monthly. No doubt I'll be singing in the heavenly choir before it's all paid back, but fuck it. I did this because she and the sprogs spend more time at mine anyway. At least it'll be her who's wiping the mashed potato off my chin and changing the colostomy bag and not some fucking underpaid Ugandan in a care home. I hope But who's going to trim your bush when you're no longer capable? I'd imagine your swimming costume will resemble Brian Blessed blowing his nose with a handkerchief. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: You are Jeremy Corbyn and I claim my copy of Das Kapital. I've got a Little Red Book, it's in the downstairs bog along with the Book of Mormon and the latest Viz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 23, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 3 hours ago, Decimus said: I've got three and whilst they drive me to fucking drink, I love the little shits with all my heart. My eldest is a bit of a wet blanket and a mummy's boy, but he's a borderline genius and that gives him huge kudos with me. The middle boy is a tearaway, funny and a talented sportsman. And as for my two year old daughter, I'd rip the fucking head off of any cunt who so much looked at her in the wrong way. DC, I'm assuming this is all hyperbole and bluster, at least I fucking hope so. I love them Decs, you get no choice in that deal. I just wish they’d all fuck off and/or grow the fuck up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 On 23/06/2021 at 12:05, Dyslexic cnut said: We’ve got four of these cunts. All funded, fed and fuckin watered for knocking on for a quarter of a century…and they’re crap. I’ve done some basic calculations and two of them through private schools (they’d have done academically better at Borstal) three of them through university (where they learned how to get in debt and smoke weed) four sets of driving lessons, four cars bought, taxed and insured, and can I get a lift home from the alehouse? Can I fuck. In short they’re a useless bunch of ingrate cunts. The last time I saw the lads was when they very kindly visited us on their 21st birthdays to collect their engraved and expensive watches (one of the cunts has flogged his we’ve since found out!) This weekend , me and Mrs Cnut rang the youngest girl for a lift home from the boozer and were told ‘if you can fill my petrol tank up please!’ The wife didn’t hang the phone up properly apparently, we were heard commenting that she was only conceived after a shite, drunken five minute shag (I argued it was nearer ten minutes!) Now we’re ‘disgusting and vile’ and she’s ignoring us and doubtless emotionally damaged. A five mile lift home was ‘not economically viable’ apparently…this little cow spent £900 on a pair of Italian ‘sneakers’ that look like breezeblocks with laces only last week. Father’s Day gifts amounted to two shite bottles of wine and a mug with ‘miserable cunt’ printed on it. Even the fuckin dog bought me aftershave AND wrote a card out and he’s cost fuck all and he hasn’t got a job but at least he hasn’t got his paw out all the time and he does seem pleased to see me most days. I wish I’d spoffed my two cunts into a crusty sock. The wife agrees and we’re downsizing to stop them coming back…ever! Cunts. Ease them out of the family gently, one by one DC. Actually two at a time, starting with the mixed race twins, then give it about ten minutes and tell the ginger cunt who looks exactly like your next door neighbour, and the other one that the milkman always stares at to fuck off or else. I dropped all mine off in a cardboard box on Dr. Barnardos doorstep on the way home from the hospital. New SIM card as soon as I got back home and I’ve never had any problems at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 4 minutes ago, King Billy said: Ease them out of the family gently, one by one DC. Actually two at a time, starting with the mixed race twins, then give it about ten minutes and tell the ginger cunt who looks exactly like your next door neighbour, and the other one that the milkman always stares at to fuck off or else. I dropped all mine off in a cardboard box on Dr. Barnardos doorstep on the way home from the hospital. New SIM card as soon as I got back home and I’ve never had any problems at all. Too funny 😂 Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 5 minutes ago, Frank said: Too funny 😂 Idiot. I shouldn’t worry about your kids hanging around to plague you Francisco. Like us, they think you’re a complete cunt and hate your fucking guts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 24, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 3 hours ago, King Billy said: Ease them out of the family gently, one by one DC. Actually two at a time, starting with the mixed race twins, then give it about ten minutes and tell the ginger cunt who looks exactly like your next door neighbour, and the other one that the milkman always stares at to fuck off or else. I dropped all mine off in a cardboard box on Dr. Barnardos doorstep on the way home from the hospital. New SIM card as soon as I got back home and I’ve never had any problems at all. Apparently, the five year old Toyota Yaris was the ‘wrong colour.’ The cuntess daughter wanted one of them Fiat 500’s in mint green. Talk about a generation gap. If I even had the temerity to ask my Dad for a lift, anywhere at the age of fifteen it would be greeted with ‘something wrong with your legs son?’ I’m on shit street here Bill. If you’re the same age as me, can you imagine Daddy rocking up with a taxed and insured car as a freebie? I hate these cunts, I get more pleasure from a domiciled dog who just wants his dinner and is happy when I walk through the door. I’m done…give me one of those Ceausecu orphan cunts who’d be over the moon with socks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 25, 2021 Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 19 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Apparently, the five year old Toyota Yaris was the ‘wrong colour.’ The cuntess daughter wanted one of them Fiat 500’s in mint green. Talk about a generation gap. If I even had the temerity to ask my Dad for a lift, anywhere at the age of fifteen it would be greeted with ‘something wrong with your legs son?’ I’m on shit street here Bill. If you’re the same age as me, can you imagine Daddy rocking up with a taxed and insured car as a freebie? I hate these cunts, I get more pleasure from a domiciled dog who just wants his dinner and is happy when I walk through the door. I’m done…give me one of those Ceausecu orphan cunts who’d be over the moon with socks. I fully agree as I’ve also been guilty of the same behaviour. I think I was unconsciously reacting to a similar upbringing as yourself DC and just wanted my daughter to not want for anything. Fortunately she’s turned out a lot better than most of her generation, in that she’s not at all into materialistic consumer goods or self promoting herself on social media, despite 4 years leftwing indoctrination at university and another year to get her masters. She’s very much a gobby, opinionated fucker though which I admire. Her opinions are invariably the polar opposite of mine and she has totally adopted the leftie method of debate. ie complete refusal to discuss anything which she disagrees with. Her boyfriend, who I like very much is however unaware of what he’s let himself in for, as everytime they come to stay I notice she’s turning more and more into her mum, who fortunately hates me so I don’t ever have to speak to her. Progress eh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted October 25, 2021 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2021 On 25/06/2021 at 19:44, King Billy said: I fully agree as I’ve also been guilty of the same behaviour. I think I was unconsciously reacting to a similar upbringing as yourself DC and just wanted my daughter to not want for anything. Fortunately she’s turned out a lot better than most of her generation, in that she’s not at all into materialistic consumer goods or self promoting herself on social media, despite 4 years leftwing indoctrination at university and another year to get her masters. She’s very much a gobby, opinionated fucker though which I admire. Her opinions are invariably the polar opposite of mine and she has totally adopted the leftie method of debate. ie complete refusal to discuss anything which she disagrees with. Her boyfriend, who I like very much is however unaware of what he’s let himself in for, as everytime they come to stay I notice she’s turning more and more into her mum, who fortunately hates me so I don’t ever have to speak to her. Progress eh. I know how it will all end for me…One of my kids will unplug my life support machine to charge their phones. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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