Nottingham Attack

[Dyslexic cnut]

13 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

Good to hear from you Frank.  I honestly don't know how you've managed to retain your residency here so long, what with my post being "particularly" upsetting.  Nonetheless, I have since calmed the fuck down thanks.

As for my good lady, well no one will believe this, but after a drive to Nottingham (of all places), where she partook of an excess of alcohol, she got out of the car, fell over on her arm and broke it.  After 6hrs in A&E she was discharged in a sling, confined to the bedroom and I've been her butler ever since.  So that's some more ammo for you to hit me with.  Lol.

You’re a saint, Michael, and it’s quite impressive to hear about your devotion and clear affection for your immobile and spasticated bride. I had no such generosity from my ex who was an utterly evil little cuntess. I remember asking her once wether she would care for me should I ever become wheelchair bound and physically compromised. Now bare in my mind she was a senior career nurse so one would assume a vocationally caring person by nature. Do you know what she replied? I’ll tell you. She said that she would happily wheel me to the bar of my local everyday and order my favourite pint for me, indeed, she’d happily pay for it. She would then position me 19” from the said pint and then provide me with an 18” straw. Mrs Hunt doesn’t know she’s born. A fair wind to you both.

[Mike Hunt]

1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

She said that she would happily wheel me to the bar of my local everyday and order my favourite pint for me, indeed, she’d happily pay for it. She would then position me 19” from the said pint and then provide me with an 18” straw. Mrs Hunt doesn’t know she’s born. A fair wind to you both.

Thanks DC, if that's straight up then you must have had a bloody good divorce party.  Must say that's an exceptionally good idea though, I'll bide my time on that one.  Mrs H broke her hip 6 years ago when she was pissed and fell on that and didn't learn from it.  I was waiting on her hand and foot for 3 months that time.  Maybe it'll be her bonce next time.

[Cunty BigBollox]

17 hours ago, Neil said:

At least I'm still alive

Are you trying to tell me the Chuckle brother who died was the handsome one? Although, months of being underground with worms eating away at his facial features may have actually improved the looks of this slack-jawed missing link.

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Mike Hunt said:

Thanks DC, if that's straight up then you must have had a bloody good divorce party.  Must say that's an exceptionally good idea though, I'll bide my time on that one.  Mrs H broke her hip 6 years ago when she was pissed and fell on that and didn't learn from it.  I was waiting on her hand and foot for 3 months that time.  Maybe it'll be her bonce next time.

See if @King Billy will make you an offer for her. He bought my Ukrainian refugee woman last year and she’s been trouble-free and a decent earner for him, in fact, he’s just had her rebored. Is the wife grateful?

[Eric Cuntman]

25 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

 worms eating away at his facial features

This must have affected his ch-ch-chuckle vision, ch-ch-chuckle vision.

[Mike Hunt]

12 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

See if @King Billy will make you an offer for her. He bought my Ukrainian refugee woman last year and she’s been trouble-free and a decent earner for him, in fact, he’s just had her rebored. Is the wife grateful?

She'll be grateful to KB, not sure the feeling will be mutual though.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Mike Hunt said:

Thanks DC, if that's straight up then you must have had a bloody good divorce party.  Must say that's an exceptionally good idea though, I'll bide my time on that one.  Mrs H broke her hip 6 years ago when she was pissed and fell on that and didn't learn from it.  I was waiting on her hand and foot for 3 months that time.  Maybe it'll be her bonce next time.

You sound like Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan.

[King Billy]

6 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

Thanks DC, if that's straight up then you must have had a bloody good divorce party.  Must say that's an exceptionally good idea though, I'll bide my time on that one.  Mrs H broke her hip 6 years ago when she was pissed and fell on that and didn't learn from it.  I was waiting on her hand and foot for 3 months that time.  Maybe it'll be her bonce next time.

I know you probably don’t want to think about life after she’s gone Mike but when that day comes I’d appreciate it if you gave me first refusal on the wheelchair. Obviously I’d need you to send me service history invoices (recorded mileage etc.) and photos of its current condition (tyre treads etc.). Just asking as I reckon we could make a tidy profit from a neighbour of mine who’s been pushing his overflowing colostomy bag  past my front door for years in a rickety old fucking thing that even Ironside or Sandy Richardson wouldn’t have been seen dead in. Don’t feel guilty for seriously considering my proposition. Just think of it as what she would have wanted if you’d told her about it.

[King Billy]

5 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

She'll be grateful to KB, not sure the feeling will be mutual though.

Does her cunt still function Mike? Just asking as it could be a dealbreaker.

[King Billy]

6 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

I was waiting on her hand and foot for 3 months

Fucking Amazon. Useless cunts.

[Mike Hunt]

40 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I know you probably don’t want to think about life after she’s gone Mike but when that day comes I’d appreciate it if you gave me first refusal on the wheelchair. Obviously I’d need you to send me service history invoices (recorded mileage etc.) and photos of its current condition (tyre treads etc.). Just asking as I reckon we could make a tidy profit from a neighbour of mine who’s been pushing his overflowing colostomy bag  past my front door for years in a rickety old fucking thing that even Ironside or Sandy Richardson wouldn’t have been seen dead in. Don’t feel guilty for seriously considering my proposition. Just think of it as what she would have wanted if you’d told her about it.

Lol lol can't come up with anything near that 👏👏👏

[Mike Hunt]

39 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Does her cunt still function Mike? Just asking as it could be a dealbreaker.

It just growls

[camberwell gypsy]

44 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I know you probably don’t want to think about life after she’s gone Mike but when that day comes I’d appreciate it if you gave me first refusal on the wheelchair. Obviously I’d need you to send me service history invoices (recorded mileage etc.) and photos of its current condition (tyre treads etc.). Just asking as I reckon we could make a tidy profit from a neighbour of mine who’s been pushing his overflowing colostomy bag  past my front door for years in a rickety old fucking thing that even Ironside or Sandy Richardson wouldn’t have been seen dead in. Don’t feel guilty for seriously considering my proposition. Just think of it as what she would have wanted if you’d told her about it.

Ironside had a black man pushing him about. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Does her cunt still function Mike? Just asking as it could be a dealbreaker.

He clearly does. The man’s a saint.

[camberwell gypsy]

8 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

You’re a saint, Michael, and it’s quite impressive to hear about your devotion and clear affection for your immobile and spasticated bride. I had no such generosity from my ex who was an utterly evil little cuntess. I remember asking her once wether she would care for me should I ever become wheelchair bound and physically compromised. Now bare in my mind she was a senior career nurse so one would assume a vocationally caring person by nature. Do you know what she replied? I’ll tell you. She said that she would happily wheel me to the bar of my local everyday and order my favourite pint for me, indeed, she’d happily pay for it. She would then position me 19” from the said pint and then provide me with an 18” straw. Mrs Hunt doesn’t know she’s born. A fair wind to you both.

I can see where she's coming from, DC. She's thinking you might have Parkinson's and you know what that could mean. Imagine Michael J Fox holding a pint of Guinness! Most of it will end up over the table and down the front of your strides looking like you've pissed yourself. Which usually happens with Parkinson's anyway. 

She obviously has shit spatial awareness 

[Dyslexic cnut]

2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I can see where she's coming from, DC. She's thinking you might have Parkinson's and you know what that could mean. Imagine Michael J Fox holding a pint of Guinness! Most of it will end up over the table and down the front of your strides looking like you've pissed yourself. Which usually happens with Parkinson's anyway. 

She obviously has shit spatial awareness 

Aah… Michael J Fox…great at making martinis, dreadful at shoplifting tambourines. Lol.

[camberwell gypsy]

46 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Aah… Michael J Fox…great at making martinis, dreadful at shoplifting tambourines. Lol.

He invented a breakfast cereal for Parkinson's sufferers: Cornshakes! 

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Ironside had a black man pushing him about. 

Just like Joe Biden for 8 years. Actually Barack Hussein Obama had the same problem every day with the First Lady Michael.

[Mike Hunt]

40 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He invented a breakfast cereal for Parkinson's sufferers: Cornshakes! 

You're going to extremors now.

[Penny Farthing]

Attacker named as Valdo Calocane.

[Hammer of Cunts]

There was the obligatory "moment's silence" for the victims before the test match: the cause du jour for mawkish showing off. Did anyone do this for the filthy little chavs who fell off their scooters, or is it just middle-class lives that matter?

[Mike Hunt]

1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

There was the obligatory "moment's silence" for the victims before the test match: the cause du jour for mawkish showing off. Did anyone do this for the filthy little chavs who fell off their scooters, or is it just middle-class lives that matter?

It's to appease the leftie snowflake generation.  Remember the totally OTT media/feminist reaction when that woman was kidnapped/killed by the cop during Covid? 1 woman is killed and they call for men to stay indoors or be forced by law to walk on the other side of the pavement.  They'd have all been wailing like fat Arab hags or (preferably) died of grief had the Yorkshire Ripper been busy at that time.

[camberwell gypsy]

19 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

There was the obligatory "moment's silence" for the victims before the test match: the cause du jour for mawkish showing off. Did anyone do this for the filthy little chavs who fell off their scooters, or is it just middle-class lives that matter?

Nobody gives a fuck about filthy little chavs. Except filthy little chavs. 

[Hammer of Cunts]

1 minute ago, Dick Fiddler said:

Nothing to be ashamed of Mikey, there's not a single downs bird I wouldn't gaffa tape, before firing one up her mencap snatch.

Good afternoon.

Are you actually Prince Andrew?

[Mike Hunt]

2 hours ago, Dick Fiddler said:

Nothing to be ashamed of Mikey, there's not a single downs bird I wouldn't gaffa tape, before firing one up her mencap snatch.

Good afternoon.

Lol you old wanker