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Whitney Houston


Stubby Pecker

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13 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

I feel much the same about electric windows and "climate control".

What the fuck is the point of a cup-holder?

I’ve just bought a ‘Quinux batforce LX’ It arrived on Tuesday and I’m quite impressed with it tbh. It wasn’t cheap and quite often the reality of the actual product doesn’t bear any resemblance to what’s being portrayed in the advertisements (and the icing on the cake is that the torch function is pretty good too).

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20 hours ago, Decimus said:

Drew's more familiar with the layout of The Priory. 

Especially the ‘Amy Winehouse all inclusive ward’ (with 24hr room service and personal cocktail waiter for every guest). It’s not called the Priory any more. The new owners have renamed it ‘The Bargain Booze Clinic’.

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53 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Especially the ‘Amy Winehouse all inclusive ward’ (with 24hr room service and personal cocktail waiter for every guest). It’s not called the Priory any more. The new owners have renamed it ‘The Bargain Booze Clinic’.

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Frank said:

 

 

Im pleased that you’re dating again Frank.  I’m sure you’ll be very happy together (at least until she discovers Ming’s long dead face grinning at her like a Peking duck from your freezer, or the decomposing, cable tied remains of a missing rentboy in your sock drawer). 
 

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2 hours ago, King Billy said:

I’ve just bought a ‘Quinux batforce LX’ It arrived on Tuesday and I’m quite impressed with it tbh. It wasn’t cheap and quite often the reality of the actual product doesn’t bear any resemblance to what’s being portrayed in the advertisements (and the icing on the cake is that the torch function is pretty good too).

I’ve got a Led-Lenser looking torch with a stun gun built into the cap end. I couldn’t give a fuck if the light bulb works at the other end. I think it does.

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On 18/10/2023 at 20:26, Frank said:

 

 

Frank it’s almost Christmas again and Ive been thinking that maybe you and I could put all your past nonsense behind us. How does the idea of you running one of my Christmas tree sites for me sound? You can have your pick of  Palmers Green or Whetstone, and unlimited use of a 2010 Transit after work until the New Year. Don’t dismiss this offer out of hand in a fit of your usual hissiness, as I’m genuinely reaching out to you, in the belief that with my help you might still be able to one day regain some tiny fragment of self respect and sense of dignity. Let me know ASAP as I’ve got quite a few other basket cases who’ve expressed an interest in the gig. 

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7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I’ve got a Led-Lenser looking torch with a stun gun built into the cap end. I couldn’t give a fuck if the light bulb works at the other end. I think it does.

The torch feature is very useful now that the nights are drawing in and the duskier craniums are much more difficult to spot.

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Mordern female singers are shit, far too many notes.That said the queen of shit singing has to be Bassey. She must be near 100 now. The awful thing is even when dementia arrives and she doesn`t know her own name this cunt will still be belting out " Hey Big Spender" every fucking day and that i wouldn`t wish on a Hamas paraglider child murdering bastard. Well, perhaps as a little aperitif before the white phosphorus...

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  • 1 month later...

Backing up my original comments, my ears have just been assaulted by serial offender Leona fucking Lewis and her god awful Christmas number. Not content on simply singing the words, someone else has written for her, she finds it necessary to change pitch and key over the course of one syllable. The result is akin in having titanium skewers dipped in acid jabbed into your skull. Clearly from the PH (post Houston) school of singing (yelling your guts out) Lewis deserves to have a Husqvarna with an 18 inch bar taken to her scrawny neck and her head mounted on a pike on London bridge 

Fuck off

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2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Backing up my original comments, my ears have just been assaulted by serial offender Leona fucking Lewis and her god awful Christmas number. Not content on simply singing the words, someone else has written for her, she finds it necessary to change pitch and key over the course of one syllable. The result is akin in having titanium skewers dipped in acid jabbed into your skull. Clearly from the PH (post Houston) school of singing (yelling your guts out) Lewis deserves to have a Husqvarna with an 18 inch bar taken to her scrawny neck and her head mounted on a pike on London bridge 

Fuck off

She’s no Cliff Richard for sure.

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3 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Backing up my original comments, my ears have just been assaulted by serial offender Leona fucking Lewis and her god awful Christmas number. Not content on simply singing the words, someone else has written for her, she finds it necessary to change pitch and key over the course of one syllable. The result is akin in having titanium skewers dipped in acid jabbed into your skull. Clearly from the PH (post Houston) school of singing (yelling your guts out) Lewis deserves to have a Husqvarna with an 18 inch bar taken to her scrawny neck and her head mounted on a pike on London bridge 

Fuck off

I don't know why but as soon as her fizzog appears on my TV I can't help looking at her bugle! It eclipses the rest of her boat race

 

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