The American Invasion.

[Decimus]

We have already had a thread on Halloween. A cuntfest extraordinaire imported from the colonies. American English is steadily creeping into the younger generations lexicon, as they progressively expand to bronyesque proportions gorging on filthy yank cuisine. All this I have taken in my stride. If a chunky child wants to dress up like a cunt, knock on a few doors and drop the odd U from their spelling then bully for them. But after watching the idiot box this morning, I've decided enough is enough. Every cunting channel was dedicated to weekend cookery shows, giving great recipe ideas on how to celebrate THANKSGIVING. The thought of this shit slowly being forced on us year by year has enraged me. I can picture it now, Clinton cards milking this bollocks big time and brainwashed girlfriends up and down the country pouting because their boyfriends haven't bought them a card for Thanksgiving. Well I ain't buying into this shit, its got fuck all to do with us and the cunts can keep it. I might be persuaded to celebrate 4th July though, purely in fucking absolute relief that by going independent we got shot of the mad, creationist bastards. And Donny Osmond is a fucking A class cunt of the highest fucking order. But that's a tale for another time.

[Decimus]

Isn't it a bit late for all of this? "Thanksgiving" took place on September 11th.

Naughty, but fucking funny.

[Guest]

Isn't it a bit late for all of this? "Thanksgiving" took place on September 11th.

 

Short of announcing your daughter's been run over by a bus, this is the funniest thing you've ever said

[Cuntybaws]

Isn't it a bit late for all of this? "Thanksgiving" took place on September 11th.

Black Tuesday didn't have quite the same sort of ring from a marketing perspective, though.

[Witheredscrote]

On ‎22‎/‎11‎/‎2014 at 11:50 AM, Decimus said:

We have already had a thread on Halloween. A cuntfest extraordinaire imported from the colonies. American English is steadily creeping into the younger generations lexicon, as they progressively expand to bronyesque proportions gorging on filthy yank cuisine. All this I have taken in my stride. If a chunky child wants to dress up like a cunt, knock on a few doors and drop the odd U from their spelling then bully for them. But after watching the idiot box this morning, I've decided enough is enough. Every cunting channel was dedicated to weekend cookery shows, giving great recipe ideas on how to celebrate THANKSGIVING. The thought of this shit slowly being forced on us year by year has enraged me. I can picture it now, Clinton cards milking this bollocks big time and brainwashed girlfriends up and down the country pouting because their boyfriends haven't bought them a card for Thanksgiving. Well I ain't buying into this shit, its got fuck all to do with us and the cunts can keep it. I might be persuaded to celebrate 4th July though, purely in fucking absolute relief that by going independent we got shot of the mad, creationist bastards. And Donny Osmond is a fucking A class cunt of the highest fucking order. But that's a tale for another time.

This cheered me up. Snatch 'liking' a Decimus nom.

[Guest luke swarm]

31 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

This cheered me up. Snatch 'liking' a Decimus nom.

If I was Snatch which thankfully I am not, I would now withdraw my like and append an iron instead, that would teach Decimus a lesson he is not likely to forget.

[Witheredscrote]

2 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

If I was Snatch which thankfully I am not, I would now withdraw my like and append an iron instead, that would teach Decimus a lesson he is not likely to forget.

That said, Snatch needs an iron, preferably a 35mm bar behind the ear.

[Guest luke swarm]

2 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

That said, Snatch needs an iron, preferably a 35mm bar behind the ear.

reported for being too soft.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

16 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

That said, Snatch needs an iron, preferably a 35mm bar behind the ear.

I like @Snatch, he's "funny".

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

I like @Snatch, he's "funny".

As are you, Pen.  When you fill your Tena in public and cry from humiliation...or when your walking frame slips out from under you and you go down, hard...I can't stop laughing!

Fuck off!  

[Guest judgetwi]

I could rant all day about American cultural imperialism but surely the worst aspect has to be the bollocks that is the school “prom”. This has caught on very quickly and these days you have them at age 11, 16 and 18. 

A whole industry has grown up around this and there are huge profits to be made from selling overpriced dresses to hiring limousines, horses, carriages, professional photographers even fucking helicopters! It’s like a bleeding pikey wedding!

Worst of all the school faggots ( nice Americanism there ) get to trannie up ( another Americanism ) and mince around in dresses and nobody is allowed to kick the shit out of them. That’s just not right !

 Now don’t get me wrong , I have a lifelong fascination with American history and culture but I prefer to enjoy it on my visits rather than have it in my face all day every day.

Mind you, you could say the same about mosques, women dressed as daleks and beardy cunts walking down the street wearing their PJs.

 There’s a theme there I think.

[Stubby Pecker]

5 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

This cheered me up. Snatch 'liking' a Decimus nom.

You must of had a thrilling New Year's Day in frog land scrote. Nothing on the box but Das Boot or All Quite on the Western Front?

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

2 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I could rant all day about American cultural imperialism but surely the worst aspect has to be the bollocks that is the school “prom”. This has caught on very quickly and these days you have them at age 11, 16 and 18. 

A whole industry has grown up around this and there are huge profits to be made from selling overpriced dresses to hiring limousines, horses, carriages, professional photographers even fucking helicopters! It’s like a bleeding pikey wedding!

Worst of all the school faggots ( nice Americanism there ) get to trannie up ( another Americanism ) and mince around in dresses and nobody is allowed to kick the shit out of them. That’s just not right !

 Now don’t get me wrong , I have a lifelong fascination with American history and culture but I prefer to enjoy it on my visits rather than have it in my face all day every day.

Mind you, you could say the same about mosques, women dressed as daleks and beardy cunts walking down the street wearing their PJs.

 There’s a theme there I think.

Watch for articles when the weather turns and the formal dance season embarks on the annual cunt-grimage; in years past, school administrators and chaperones getting into trouble for conducting "panty checks.'  All of the young slags are taken into a screened off area and told to lift their dresses so verification can be made that they are actually wearing knickers, and not sending off the message they are going to shag every bloke in attendance any place most convenient.  It truly is an apex level cunt activity.  

[Guest Manky]

Another aspect of the American colonization of England is the increase of the effect ambulance chasing lawyers are having on our lives, aided and abetted by the multitude of lawyers within the ranks of our MPs. At least once a week at work I get told by some Rumpole wannabe that he/she/it will see me in court. In 17 plus years, that has yet to happen.

Coffee shops replacing tea rooms, the proliferation of R"us outlets. Rap music (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and the creeping paralysis of Political Correctness can all be blamed on the Yanks.

Kim Jung fat fucker with the stupid haircut has a point when he says America is full of cunts

[Guest Lady Penelope]

11 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Worst of all the school faggots ( nice Americanism there ) get to trannie up ( another Americanism ) and mince around in dresses and nobody is allowed to kick the shit out of them. That’s just not right !

Just how long have you been chasing TWAFs?

[nocti]

27 minutes ago, Manky said:

Kim Jung fat fucker with the stupid haircut has a point when he says America is full of cunts

Is that a direct quote, Manks?

[Guest Manky]

8 minutes ago, nocti said:

Is that a direct quote, Manks?

Moderated by me to stop Rick having a fit.

[Wolfie]

46 minutes ago, Manky said:

Another aspect of the American colonization of England is the increase of the effect ambulance chasing lawyers are having on our lives, aided and abetted by the multitude of lawyers within the ranks of our MPs. At least once a week at work I get told by some Rumpole wannabe that he/she/it will see me in court. In 17 plus years, that has yet to happen.

Coffee shops replacing tea rooms, the proliferation of R"us outlets. Rap music (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and the creeping paralysis of Political Correction can all be blamed on the Yanks.

Kim Jung fat fucker with the stupid haircut has a point when he says America is full of cunts

The Americanisation of the UK makes my heart sink, Manky, it really does. Once 'a nation of shopkeepers', nowadays we are faced with the cancerous expansion of US-spawned retail parks, with Currys, Sports Direct and Starfucks Coffee et al. being examples of the usual suspects, which were created to ensure people weighing in excess of 25 stone didn't have to waddle very far to get all of their shopping done in one place. Not only are these ghastly parks putting our sole traders out of business, they're insidiously destroying the character of our traditional high streets. I want the fucking hideous things burned to the ground.

[Bubba C]

11 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I could rant all day about American cultural imperialism but surely the worst aspect has to be the bollocks that is the school “prom”. This has caught on very quickly and these days you have them at age 11, 16 and 18. 

 Now don’t get me wrong , I have a lifelong fascination with American history and culture but I prefer to enjoy it on my visits rather than have it in my face all day every day.

Mind you, you could say the same about mosques, women dressed as daleks and beardy cunts walking down the street wearing their PJs.

 There’s a theme there I think.

Isn’t that a rather convoluted way of saying “cock”?

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it elsewhere, but I’m far too lazy to look, but surely on a par with the above, if not worse, is the recent craze of the graduation of little cunts from primary schools and the like.

I guarantee this has been derived from some Yank-wannabe soppy cunt, or, a lazy cunt who saw the opportunity for a couple of extra days off work in order to attend “Harrison’s graduation”.

Fuck off.

 

[Guest Manky]

7 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Isn’t that a rather convoluted way of saying “cock”?

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it elsewhere, but I’m far too lazy to look, but surely on a par with the above, if not worse, is the recent craze of the graduation of little cunts from primary schools and the like.

I guarantee this has been derived from some Yank-wannabe soppy cunt, or, a lazy cunt who saw the opportunity for a couple of extra days off work in order to attend “Harrison’s graduation”.

Fuck off.

 

My Welsh mate says there are only 3 phrases in Welsh. " Can I have my unemployment benefit?", "My father and grandfather both lied to everybody, telling them they were coalminers" and :My sister, Blodwyn, is a belting shag and my dad agrees with me"  All the rest of that Welsh bollocks is a futile attempt to pretend they have a culture wheraes in truth the only Welsh culture is the one found under Charlotte Churchs foreskin

[Bubba C]

15 minutes ago, Manky said:

My Welsh mate says there are only 3 phrases in Welsh. " Can I have my unemployment benefit?", "My father and grandfather both lied to everybody, telling them they were coalminers" and :My sister, Blodwyn, is a belting shag and my dad agrees with me"  All the rest of that Welsh bollocks is a futile attempt to pretend they have a culture wheraes in truth the only Welsh culture is the one found under Charlotte Churchs foreskin

Brilliant as always, manky.

I’ve no idea what the colloquial northern sayings are for: “the bitch deserved another black eye”, “where’s the gravy?” and “I’m proud of being a grandfather at the age of 28”, as, unlike you and your welsh mate, I refuse to fraternise with the enemy. 

[Guest Manky]

1 minute ago, Bubba C said:

Brilliant as always, manky.

I’ve no idea what the colloquial northern sayings are for: “the bitch deserved another black eye”, “where’s the gravy?” and “I’m proud of being a grandfather at the age of 28”, as, unlike you and your welsh mate, I refuse to fraternise with the enemy. 

Thank you for recognising my talent.

 Strangely enough, my best mates girlfriend was the youngest grandmother in the UK about 15 years ago. Her daughter and her now husband are still together and the family are a credit to all involved.  The moral of the story is quite simple, dont be Welsh.

Gravy is Gods own food. I once battered a Yorkshireman who asked me, "Hast tha any Bisto?"  I  thought he was a Wop bidding me good morning

[Guest judgetwi]

1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

Just how long have you been chasing TWAFs?

I’m sorry My Lady but I have no idea what a TWAF is.

My best guess is Trans women and fags, in which case you are a bitch and you can do one.  💀

[Guest Erroreptile404]

My favourite american invasion was the one from 1812-1815 when Britain occupied and burnt down their shithole capitol and white house, then proceeded to chase them out of their own said capitol with their tails between their legs + ate their fucking banquet.

[Guest Manky]

8 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

My favourite american invasion was the one from 1812-1815 when Britain occupied and burnt down their shithole capitol and white house, then proceeded to chase them out of their own said capitol with their tails between their legs + ate their fucking banquet.

Now that is history as it should be taught.