Ape™️ Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 It appears that some people on the road see the world at a different speed to me. When I'm at a set of traffic lights, I am waiting, knowing that they will inevitably turn green and it will be time to move. Others seem to experience some kind of time delay and are unable to process the change in colour, taking fucking ages to move as if taken by suprise. They then proceed to engage the clutch like its made of lead crystal and acceralate, at a barely imperceptible rate, to their standard 35mph cruising speed, which they maintain regardless of the true speed limit. Dozy cunts! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 There are a good many of them in these parts. I worry that they will react as slowly to a kid running out or when it starts to go tits up. They should introduce refresher tests every 15 to 20 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 I am usually very adept at concealing my general contempt for humanity in order to blend in with the cunts around me and avoid raising any suspicions. (That way, if one or two of them go missing over the years I will not be a suspect.) However, put me in a car and I am afraid that the facade cannot be maintained. If I am ever finally revealed as a Lecter-like sociopath it will be entirely due to some old cunt in a hat driving a Nissan Micra, a Honda Jazz, or a Suzuki Swift. The certainty that I would not flourish on prison food is all that prevents me having laser guided missiles fitted to my own vehicle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 As I stated in the past, I still prefer this nuisance over driving in cunt-fested places like Italy or Fwonce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 We'll all be there one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Although there are a lot of elderly drivers that do this, it's by no means exclusively them. There are plenty of far younger drivers, who should know fucking better, that do the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Yes. Cunts indeed. No awareness of the queue of cunts behind them. I can't tolerate the cunts who approach a green light with the anticipation that it will go yellow. They brake and fuck about instead of getting on with it. I do make allowances for older people, as the roads must be a nightmare for some. Then there's the cunts who dont have the mental capacity to approach a roundabout whilst simultaneously looking to see if they are clear to proceed. They prefer to simply stop, regardless of traffic, and then divert their limited brain processing power to turning their head to see if there's anything coming. Fucking cretins! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 As I stated in the past, I still prefer this nuisance over driving in cunt-fested places like Italy or Fwonce. Try driving a 6 berth RHD motorhome round Rome, and yes, we went past the colliseum and a few other notables... we weren't supposed to.. but we did.... fuck knows how we were supposed to be on the ringroad looking for a campervan shop.... ...still scraping the vespas off the mudflaps 5 years on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Try driving a 6 berth RHD motorhome round Rome, and yes, we went past the colliseum and a few other notables... we weren't supposed to.. but we did.... fuck knows how we were supposed to be on the ringroad looking for a campervan shop.... ...still scraping the vespas off the mudflaps 5 years on... ...still scraping the vespas off the mudflaps 5 years on... Kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 ...still scraping the vespas off the mudflaps 5 years on... Kill yourself. Simply quoting me and adding "kill yourself" on the end does not count as a full and forthright response... Try again Mr Taedium... How's the brazilian? You do know that a real brazilian is one that's been shaved off? Not growing it in the first place doesn't count, that's someting different altogether.. * Although I will admit most of them were actually peugeot scooters not the real thing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Ding you're a fucking prick ..but I'm younger and better looking than you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Then there's the cunts who dont have the mental capacity to approach a roundabout whilst simultaneously looking to see if they are clear to proceed. They prefer to simply stop, regardless of traffic, and then divert their limited brain processing power to turning their head to see if there's anything coming. Fucking cretins!Mini roundabouts are the worst. The number of cunts who don't know what to do is unbelievable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 ..but I'm younger and better looking than you... Hey , self praise is no recommendation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 They should introduce refresher tests every 15 to 20 years. I agree with this and would happily comply. I genuinely reckon over 50% of the cunts on the road would fail them too. Aside from those vacuous twats who don't indicate, what really fucks me off is people who don't acknowledge when you've given way to them. I know it's not in the highway code or anything, but for fucks sake, nod your head or lift your hand off your dick just for a split second you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Hey , self praise is no recommendation. That's not praise... ..and I'm not recommending myself for anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 It appears that some people on the road see the world at a different speed to me. When I'm at a set of traffic lights, I am waiting, knowing that they will inevitably turn green and it will be time to move. Others seem to experience some kind of time delay and are unable to process the change in colour, taking fucking ages to move as if taken by suprise. They then proceed to engage the clutch like its made of lead crystal and acceralate, at a barely imperceptible rate, to their standard 35mph cruising speed, which they maintain regardless of the true speed limit. Dozy cunts! I hate this. They sit there with handbrake on and in neutral. When the lights change, they put it into first and and release the hanbrake and get the biting point and slowly move off. Unfortunately this tends to be women mostly. Two or three cars could have got through in that time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Actually the worst traffic crime that can be committed in my book is the cunts who signal right at traffic lights after they turn green. You know the scene, you want to go straight on, the left hand lane is full but the right hand lane only has one car in it and he aint signalling to turn right. You stop behind them than hey presto: as soon as the light turns green the fucker starts signalling right and I'm stuck behind them. I've actually yelled out the window at these cretins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Actually the worst traffic crime that can be committed in my book is the cunts who signal right at traffic lights after they turn green. You know the scene, you want to go straight on, the left hand lane is full but the right hand lane only has one car in it and he aint signalling to turn right. You stop behind them than hey presto: as soon as the light turns green the fucker starts signalling right and I'm stuck behind them. I've actually yelled out the window at these cretins. Sorry about that Gyps,won't happen again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Actually the worst traffic crime that can be committed in my book is the cunts who signal right at traffic lights after they turn green. You know the scene, you want to go straight on, the left hand lane is full but the right hand lane only has one car in it and he aint signalling to turn right. You stop behind them than hey presto: as soon as the light turns green the fucker starts signalling right and I'm stuck behind them. I've actually yelled out the window at these cretins. Fuck me, my face nearly caved in from frowning as I read that. I fucking hate those cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 I hate this. They sit there with handbrake on and in neutral. When the lights change, they put it into first and and release the hanbrake and get the biting point and slowly move off. Unfortunately this tends to be women mostly. Two or three cars could have got through in that time My father-in-law does this.... it grates the fuck out of me everytime... he's never ready and never anticipates anything, can't fart unless told he needs to... Luckily he doesn't do this... Actually the worst traffic crime that can be committed in my book is the cunts who signal right at traffic lights after they turn green. You know the scene, you want to go straight on, the left hand lane is full but the right hand lane only has one car in it and he aint signalling to turn right. You stop behind them than hey presto: as soon as the light turns green the fucker starts signalling right and I'm stuck behind them. I've actually yelled out the window at these cretins. ...he's too anally retentive.. the indicator is turned on at exactly the recommended distance from the junction ahead.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 My father-in-law does this.... it grates the fuck out of me everytime... he's never ready and never anticipates anything, can't fart unless told he needs to... Luckily he doesn't do this... ...he's too anally retentive.. the indicator is turned on at exactly the recommended distance from the junction ahead.. Boring twit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Boring twit. Hmmm... different.. not sure it's "better, but still, nice to see you trying a bit... Did you get a sunburnt arse or a sunburnt knob? I ask because this might finally answer the question as to who is "the man'.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Hmmm... different.. not sure it's "better, but still, nice to see you trying a bit... Did you get a sunburnt arse or a sunburnt knob? I ask because this might finally answer the question as to who is "the man'.... I think I'm going to struggle with you, dingalong... you're one of the Corner's perceived brighter 5%. Try this... Your mum sucks cancer riddled isis cock. How's that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 I think I'm going to struggle with you, dingalong... you're one of the Corner's perceived brighter 5%. Try this... Your mum sucks cancer riddled isis cock. How's that? Cheers you cunt, you actually made me laugh for once... Although that does look rather like a 15 y.o. americunts' response... except for the mum/mom bit... ...still much better than the usual... keep going, you might get somewhere one day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Cheers you cunt, you actually made me laugh for once... Although that does look rather like a 15 y.o. americunts' response... except for the mum/mom bit... ...still much better than the usual... keep going, you might get somewhere one day! I think underneath your weeny facade you're starting to stew a little bit.. dingalong. I sense the knee of you trouser twitching with the anticipation of a thicko. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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