Decimus Posted July 25, 2015 Report Share Posted July 25, 2015 I'm a great believer that anyone over the age of 70 should not be allowed to leave their house, unless it's on a one way trip to be euthanised at Dignitas. As if it isn't bad enough that they haven't got the decency to drop dead at 69, they also spend every second they're out in the wild, getting in everyone's fucking way. I made the mistake of going to the supermarket on pension day this week. In hindsight, I should have known what was afoot, as soon as the automatic doors opened and my nose was assaulted with the mixed aroma of lavender, backed up prostatic fluid and unchanged tena lady pads. The place was absolutely fucking heaving with coffin dodgers, shuffling along at the speedy pace of a foot a minute, whilst sharing with each other casually racist anecdotes about the "darkie" on till number five. I reached my limit when trying to pick up some cheese, only to be confronted with six wizened crones completely blocking my path like a geriatric barricade. Pawing at cheese with shaky maws, and dribbling over the fucking babybel, they absolutely refused to move, so I gave up and went home to write a poison pen letter to June fucking Whitfield. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 25, 2015 Report Share Posted July 25, 2015 My nan didn't like 'darkies' except frank Bruno, fucking ridiculous attitude to have, I don't even like that cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2015 My nan didn't like 'darkies' except frank Bruno, fucking ridiculous attitude to have, I don't even like that cunt.He's certainly no Kris Akabusi, Edders. The first time I saw him I was absolutely convinced he had some form of mental disability. What with his oddly shaped, massive fucking head, and his habit of endlessly shouting "Awooga" , I think it was an honest mistake that anyone could make. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 25, 2015 Report Share Posted July 25, 2015 He's certainly no Kris Akabusi, Edders. The first time I saw him I was absolutely convinced he had some form of mental disability. What with his oddly shaped, massive fucking head, and his habit of endlessly shouting "Awooga" , I think it was an honest mistake that anyone could make.I did some work for kriss akabussi once, he lives in warsash. He is the tightest bastard you'll ever meet, he makes my mate Hymie seem generous (and that's saying something.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 25, 2015 Report Share Posted July 25, 2015 I hate getting stuck behind these old dawdling bastards at checkouts. I also find it fascinating how they can remember every single fucking second of what occurred during WW2, but struggle like fuck when it comes to a four digit PIN. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 25, 2015 Report Share Posted July 25, 2015 He's certainly no Kris Akabusi, Edders. The first time I saw him I was absolutely convinced he had some form of mental disability. What with his oddly shaped, massive fucking head, and his habit of endlessly shouting "Awooga" , I think it was an honest mistake that anyone could make.when he was shouting awooga, was he pointing at his own reflection in a shop window? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 I did some work for kriss akabussi once, he lives in warsash. He is the tightest bastard you'll ever meet, he makes my mate Hymie seem generous (and that's saying something.)Hymie's one of the most generous and giving cunts it has been my pleasure to meet, you cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 I'm a great believer that anyone over the age of 70 should not be allowed to leave their house......and certainly not driving a Nissan Micra, or a Vauxhall Agila, or the stunningly-misnamed Suzuki Swift. The hearse that takes them on their final journey will be a damn sight fucking faster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 I'm a great believer that anyone over the age of 70 should not be allowed to leave their house, unless it's on a one way trip to be euthanised at Dignitas. As if it isn't bad enough that they haven't got the decency to drop dead at 69, they also spend every second they're out in the wild, getting in everyone's fucking way. I made the mistake of going to the supermarket on pension day this week. In hindsight, I should have known what was afoot, as soon as the automatic doors opened and my nose was assaulted with the mixed aroma of lavender, backed up prostatic fluid and unchanged tena lady pads. The place was absolutely fucking heaving with coffin dodgers, shuffling along at the speedy pace of a foot a minute, whilst sharing with each other casually racist anecdotes about the "darkie" on till number five. I reached my limit when trying to pick up some cheese, only to be confronted with six wizened crones completely blocking my path like a geriatric barricade. Pawing at cheese with shaky maws, and dribbling over the fucking babybel, they absolutely refused to move, so I gave up and went home to write a poison pen letter to June fucking Whitfield.The cunts always insist on venturing out on Saturdays and Sundays, driving the wrong way down dual carriage ways and arguing with supermarket workers about how to bag their eggs. Why can't they run their errands on any other fucking day of the week? The employed, functional people of this world only have a 2 day weekend in which get things done between 9-5, and accordingly need to do things quickly and efficiently. But no, you have to wait in the supermarket car park for 15 minutes, because some geriatric cunt can't park their Nissan in a space large enough for a jumbo fucking jet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 ...and certainly not driving a Nissan Micra, or a Vauxhall Agila, or the stunningly-misnamed Suzuki Swift. The hearse that takes them on their final journey will be a damn sight fucking faster.Dont forget the Honda Jazz and the Civic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 Dont forget the Honda Jazz and the Civic.Good call on the Jazz. I'll raise you a Fiat cunting Panda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 Dont forget the Honda Jazz and the Civic.I was avoiding the subject of Jazz, but now you've brought it up has anyone else noticed that all his posts and topics have been deleted? No? You mean all that clip art and Jib Jab shite was totally superfluous all along? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 Bit unfair on the age of 70. Both my parents are in their 70s and are nothing like this. Ok my mum can't get on with remote controls, laptops and mobiles but that's because she's daft but she's very sprightly and looks younger than her years and my dad can still hand out kickings like he used to in his younger days. However what they'll be like in a decade or so remains to be seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 It was an old cunt with a 1980/81 Audi 80 that cut in front of me and made me swear when I was driving my sister back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 I'm a great believer that anyone over the age of 70 should not be allowed to leave their house, unless it's on a one way trip to be euthanised at Dignitas. As if it isn't bad enough that they haven't got the decency to drop dead at 69, they also spend every second they're out in the wild, getting in everyone's fucking way. I made the mistake of going to the supermarket on pension day this week. In hindsight, I should have known what was afoot, as soon as the automatic doors opened and my nose was assaulted with the mixed aroma of lavender, backed up prostatic fluid and unchanged tena lady pads. The place was absolutely fucking heaving with coffin dodgers, shuffling along at the speedy pace of a foot a minute, whilst sharing with each other casually racist anecdotes about the "darkie" on till number five. I reached my limit when trying to pick up some cheese, only to be confronted with six wizened crones completely blocking my path like a geriatric barricade. Pawing at cheese with shaky maws, and dribbling over the fucking babybel, they absolutely refused to move, so I gave up and went home to write a poison pen letter to June fucking Whitfield.I sincerely hope that when I reach that age, I don't have to twaddle about in the Audi. Cunts ding and scratch my trusty iron chariot by slamming doors into them, letting their fucking trolleys loose, or their brood of undisciplined sugar amped brats swing their toy swords with reckless abandon. I am not going to hold my breath for such a Utopian state considering the type of cunt that delivers groceries and take away curries. Ask for a good kebab, the fucker will be slathered in god only knows what bodily fluids. I guess it's russian roulette on the roundabouts with the young cunts, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 (edited) I am just over 5 years from the sevon zeron. I don't walk around doing the mutton dressed as lamb or oldest swinger thing but I have almost completely detechaed myself from people of my own age group and older. Nothing but, "Oooh waiting have me hip done", if they are about it groups they always seem to walk four abreast and block the pavement or stand blocking doorways and always when you speak to them they so fucking depressing that I just want to take hold a a pig husbanders shovel and bash them into the ground. Edited July 27, 2015 by Lady Penelope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I am just over 5 years from the sevon zeron. I don't walk around doing the mutton dressed as lamb or oldest swinger thing but I have almost completely detechaed myself from people of my own age group and older. Nothing but, "Oooh waiting have me hip done", if they are about it groups they always seem to walk four abreast and block the pavement or stand blocking doorways and always when you speak to them they so fucking depressing that I just want to take hold a a pig husbanders shovel and bash them into the ground.Indeed, you have a lot more zip to your stride than the typical geezer. You'll know when you've made the transition, because you won't notice that you are wearing your trousers just below your low hangers, and look like a frog wearing a pair of double knits, and you'll smell of piss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I was avoiding the subject of Jazz, but now you've brought it up has anyone else noticed that all his posts and topics have been deleted? No? You mean all that clip art and Jib Jab shite was totally superfluous all along?I noticed this the other day. Can you explain this to us Admin, preferably without banning anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I noticed this the other day. Can you explain this to us Admin, preferably without banning anyone? Yes, thank you, I can. But I best not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wouldn't "he was a cunt" suffice for such inquiries? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 It was an old cunt with a 1980/81 Audi 80 that cut in front of me and made me swear when I was driving my sister back home.You should have put 'An Audi yesterday' under the picture. I noticed this the other day. Can you explain this to us Admin, preferably without banning anyone? Maybe they should do it to that perv Brony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wouldn't "he was a cunt" suffice for such inquiries? He was also sexually attracted to the Judge, which in itself should be a hanging offence. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wouldn't "he was a cunt" suffice for such inquiries? If you could power cars on pure cuntitude, we'd all have free fuel for life off that twat alone. He made me chuckle a few times, but he started to just post shit videos in the end, and lowered the bar below sea level. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Yes, thank you, I can. But I best not.Come on Adders,spill the beans. We're all adults,sorry,most of us are adults here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Come on Adders,spill the beans. We're all adults,sorry,most of us are adults here.I wonder if Jazz was a prolific multi-ID cunt? When Frankape was outed all its content was going to be deleted, so perhaps Jizzle is getting the same treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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