nocti Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 We are constantly told to give the supermarkets a miss and go straight to the source, or to local shops and farms that sell their wares. Only thing is, there seems to be a recent craze of anything that isn't GM or chock full of sugar/salt to be labeled as "artisan" and painstakingly grown/created, forcing people to say actually no, fuck off, that's quarter the price at Sainsburys you pretentious cunts.I'm all for championing the independent shops, farmers, etc, but throw yourself a bone by not tunnelling into your own arse and charging bullshit prices for what quite frankly you'd have got fuck all for before the big wigs came along.Breweries fall into this too. Brewdog label themselves as "a punk brewery", despite being almost as commercially motivated as fucking Apple. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 I don't mind popping down to the local farm shop for a sack of spuds and a couple of cabbage, but I am a bit dubious of the provenance of some of this manure stained produce. I don't mind the horny handed son of soil who is selling me the veg stinking of shit but I don't want the actual produce smelling of shit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 And worst of all because this natural produce has no preservatives in it guess what, the stuff you paid four times the price for has to all be eaten today or it will give you gut rot. I really don't think I could handle throwing responsibly sourced beluga caviar or organically grown asparagus tips in the food waste bin the day after I had brought it like I imagine that cunt RockMonkey would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 Dog food. Fucking dog food! Fucking freeze-dried fucking dog food! Fucking hell! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 Dog food. Fucking dog food! Fucking freeze-dried fucking dog food! Fucking hell!Well, there we go I won't say "my point exactly" because it kind of isn't, but fucking hell, come on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 I bought some duck eggs from a farm shop a few months back. I didn't expect a nearly formed duckling inside when cracking it. Cunt farmer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 Dog food. Fucking dog food! Fucking freeze-dried fucking dog food! Fucking hell!I like it when they advertise dog food as "new improved flavour."How the fuck do they know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 This sort of prentious shite has been forced down our throats like a foie gras abused goose for far too long. I don't want to eat a carrot that has festered in pig shit for a month, if I wanted E-Coli, I'd cut out the middle man and rim the pig that Rebecca Loos bashed off. Similarly, I don't give a fuck if my coffee beans have been moistened with the tears of a beatified Peruvian nun and hand picked by the Dalai fucking Llama. Give me cheap instant that's been moistened with the sweat of a flogged indentured peasant, and picked by a malnourished and exploited native. Fuck ethical produce. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 This sort of prentious shite has been forced down our throats like a foie gras abused goose for far too long. I don't want to eat a carrot that has festered in pig shit for a month, if I wanted E-Coli, I'd cut out the middle man and rim the pig that Rebecca Loos bashed off. Similarly, I don't give a fuck if my coffee beans have been moistened with the tears of a beatified Peruvian nun and hand picked by the Dalai fucking Llama. Give me cheap instant that's been moistened with the sweat of a flogged indentured peasant, and picked by a malnourished and exploited native. Fuck ethical produce.You're not a fan then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 Didn't Rebecca Loos wank of that Beckham cunt as well?Probably got a more sensible conversation from the pig though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 Didn't Rebecca Loos wank of that Beckham cunt as well?Probably got a more sensible conversation from the pig though.And not so fucking squeaky, that cunt has a voice that only dogs could fucking hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 I bought some duck eggs from a farm shop a few months back. I didn't expect a nearly formed duckling inside when cracking it. Cunt farmer.How cute, a little Orville. Was it tasty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 How cute, a little Orville. Was it tasty?The feathers were a bit of a problem but apart from that I mustn't grumble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2015 I think she did a bit more than toss him off.Well as the joke goes.........What do George Michael and David Beckham share in common?They both like coming in loos.Now, this is just an open invitation to share my favourite George Michael joke which is very similar.What do George Michael and a welly have in common?They both get sucked off in bogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted July 31, 2015 Report Share Posted July 31, 2015 Artisan... You mean the real food before the multinationals fucked up the entire food market and fed us processed homogenised anodyne shite...?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 31, 2015 Report Share Posted July 31, 2015 This sort of prentious shite has been forced down our throats like a foie gras abused goose for far too long. I don't want to eat a carrot that has festered in pig shit for a month, if I wanted E-Coli, I'd cut out the middle man and rim the pig that Rebecca Loos bashed off. Similarly, I don't give a fuck if my coffee beans have been moistened with the tears of a beatified Peruvian nun and hand picked by the Dalai fucking Llama. Give me cheap instant that's been moistened with the sweat of a flogged indentured peasant, and picked by a malnourished and exploited native. Fuck ethical produce.Spoken like a true gypsy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 We are constantly told to give the supermarkets a miss and go straight to the source, or to local shops and farms that sell their wares. Only thing is, there seems to be a recent craze of anything that isn't GM or chock full of sugar/salt to be labeled as "artisan" and painstakingly grown/created, forcing people to say actually no, fuck off, that's quarter the price at Sainsburys you pretentious cunts.I'm all for championing the independent shops, farmers, etc, but throw yourself a bone by not tunnelling into your own arse and charging bullshit prices for what quite frankly you'd have got fuck all for before the big wigs came along.Breweries fall into this too. Brewdog label themselves as "a punk brewery", despite being almost as commercially motivated as fucking Apple. Fuck off.It's all a massive load of wank. Go into any supermarket, or small independent store, they all have house brands that are labeled "artisan." Just look in the breads; artisan buns, artisan whole grain breads, artisan rye, artisan sourdough...all made by the same low wage earning cunt in the same shite cunt processing facility. They don't even call them fucking factories anymore. I've just about got my missus convinced that we would be better off making our own breads and fucking the mass produced rubbish right off into the bin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 We needed this kind of no-nonsense 'realpolitik' back in the day when if you expressed the notion that Nicaraguan coffee tasted like sweat, you were as good as a card-carrying Contra to all those soppy right-on cunts that thought they were Sandinistas every time they put the kettle on.Course,nowadays we've got Starbucks, so every cunt is (metaphorically) rimming Pinochet - actually, fuck that 'metaphorically'. Have you ever tasted one of their Frappucino's?I'm prepared to admit I may have lost the plot somewhat on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 We needed this kind of no-nonsense 'realpolitik' back in the day when if you expressed the notion that Nicaraguan coffee tasted like sweat, you were as good as a card-carrying Contra to all those soppy right-on cunts that thought they were Sandinistas every time they put the kettle on.Course,nowadays we've got Starbucks, so every cunt is (metaphorically) rimming Pinochet - actually, fuck that 'metaphorically'. Have you ever tasted one of their Frappucino's?I'm prepared to admit I may have lost the plot somewhat on this one.Jiggers, I personally don't care for Starbucks. It's bitter chemically treated moose piss. You can make a much tastier product at home just by spending a few extra quid for quality beans. The aroma when brewing definitely hits the nostrils much more pleasurably than the mass produced, burnt to a fucking crisp rubbish big name brands. Then it's just a matter of finding the flavoured sweetening treat to finish the job, and you have a beverage that other cunts would beat you to death with tyre iron for.. On second thought perhaps making it a little less perfect might be better for your health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 I bought some duck eggs from a farm shop a few months back. I didn't expect a nearly formed duckling inside when cracking it. Cunt farmer.should have reported the cunt Gong, it's illegal to allow this to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 We had a massive veg patch and a well stocked greenhouse when I was growing up and we never ailed anything. That was proper grub and I can't help thinking they were better times. And my dad's home brew blew your brains out for less than a quid a gallon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 See also Craft Ale, or better yet, don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 We had a massive veg patch and a well stocked greenhouse when I was growing up and we never ailed anything. That was proper grub and I can't help thinking they were better times. And my dad's home brew blew your brains out for less than a quid a gallon.gobbler, did you learn your fathers recipe and brewing technique? Just think of how much money you could save not buying your alcohol at a retailer, the pirating cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 2, 2015 Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 I'm keeping it under wraps Wiz until them lorries at Calais fail to bring home the amber nectar. Then I'll be asking a fiver a pint! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted August 2, 2015 Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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