Witheredscrote Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 Looked at the BBC drama 'Shetland ' last night which is set on a shithole piece of rock somewhere off the coast of England. Fuck me sideways , if ever a programme needed subtitles this was the one. A bunch of fucking Jocks mumbling to each other competing with background music. The only one I could understand was the tart with a big arse in Glasgow squawking into the phone like ' och noo wheres meee heed '. William Wallace need not have been executed , the thick cunt was probably apologising to Edward 1 but was mumbling and nobody English could hear him. North of the wall non enunciating mumbling cunts to a man and haggis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 I give you Rab C fucking Nesbit. Unintelligable, unintelligent and shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 A desolate fucking shit hole, full of rabid, alcoholic, sister shagging socialists. Let's frack the border in the hope that a fault line opens, and the disgusting fucking dump floats off all the way to the Arctic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 Look up 'Trawlermen', it's about the fishing communities in the North-East of Scotland. It genuinely has subtitles. I need them and I live in the fucking area! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said: I give you Rab C fucking Nesbit. Unintelligable, unintelligent and shite. I up you a Lulu and 2 Proclaimers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 1 minute ago, witheredscrote said: I up you a Lulu and 2 Proclaimers And I'll throw in an obligatory Andy Murray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 34 minutes ago, MikeD said: Look up 'Trawlermen', it's about the fishing communities in the North-East of Scotland. It genuinely has subtitles. I need them and I live in the fucking area! I have never looked up a trawlerman in my life you fucking deviant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 Just now, Decimus said: And I'll throw in an obligatory Andy Murray. Now that is an ace. He is one miserable fucking MUMBLER of a jock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 3 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: I have never looked up a trawlerman in my life you fucking deviant. if you can put up with the smell you don't know what you're fucking missing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 14 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Now that is an ace. He is one miserable fucking MUMBLER of a jock. The Krankies ? class act all round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 And that Nicholas Sturgeon woman. The kind of voice you could kick all night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 Back in my teen years I worked for a bank, and when it became apparent that the person calling in had a proper broad Scottish accent, I'd make excuses about a bad line and hang the fuck up. Futile trying to understand what the fuck they were saying, especially when you have a call quota to fill and these incoherent cunts are mumbling away about nothing in particular for ages while bagpipes drone on in the background, the sound of clinking bottles and crushing special brew cans punctuating every other attempted "word". It's like they're gradually and collectively just giving up on communication in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 13, 2016 Report Share Posted February 13, 2016 51 minutes ago, nocti said: Back in my teen years I worked for a bank, and when it became apparent that the person calling in had a proper broad Scottish accent, I'd make excuses about a bad line and hang the fuck up. Futile trying to understand what the fuck they were saying, especially when you have a call quota to fill and these incoherent cunts are mumbling away about nothing in particular for ages while bagpipes drone on in the background, the sound of clinking bottles and crushing special brew cans punctuating every other attempted "word". It's like they're gradually and collectively just giving up on communication in general. I had a similar incident many years ago when I mistakenly identified the Scottish fuck on the other end of the phone with a scarily deep and gruff voice as a peasant with a Y chromosome. When she had to spell her name out (as I couldn't understand the dumb fuck), did I realise my mistake. Then the grumbling, mumbling haggis snorter went fucking ape shit, I think. She could've just been looking to score some heroin. Or a deep fried mars bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 There was a documentary on Alba about a former poofballer called Kenny Dalglish and his great work for a cancer hospice on some island. The ironic thing was that there was subtitles when somebody spoke Scots Gaelic but none for when Kenny spoke. So I didn't have a fucking clue what he was saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: There was a documentary on Alba about a former poofballer called Kenny Dalglish and his great work for a cancer hospice on some island. The ironic thing was that there was subtitles when somebody spoke Scots Gaelic but none for when Kenny spoke. So I didn't have a fucking clue what he was saying. What the fuck were you doing even looking at anything Scottish Gypps. Were you pissed ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 13 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: What the fuck were you doing even looking at anything Scottish Gypps. Were you pissed ? No. I wanted to watch it because it focused on his work for cancer and the hospice on one of the Scottish island's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 On 13/02/2016 at 3:32 PM, Alfie Noakes said: I give you Rab C fucking Nesbit. Unintelligable, unintelligent and shite. Pssst.. He's a character on TV... On 13/02/2016 at 5:16 PM, Decimus said: And I'll throw in an obligatory Andy Murray. No, he's British... oh.. hang on.. he lost the last one... FUCKING USELESS MUMBLING SCOT!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 1 hour ago, DingTheRioja said: Pssst.. He's a character on TV... No, he's British... oh.. hang on.. he lost the last one... FUCKING USELESS MUMBLING SCOT!! Ok Gregor Fisher then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 Sir Alex the cunt mumbled like a spas, when ManU lost a game. Kenny Dalglish and Paul Lambert were the other 2 managers I could never understand. Loved watching Rab c Nesbitt, but always had the subtitles on. Mumbling haggis eating cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 On 13 February 2016 at 3:41 PM, Decimus said: A desolate fucking shit hole, full of rabid, alcoholic, sister shagging socialists. Let's frack the border in the hope that a fault line opens, and the disgusting fucking dump floats off all the way to the Arctic. If you could "fillet" out Glasgow and Dundee, and a couple of other lowland shit holes with shaped nuclear charges, the place would be 3 times better. The rest of it, I have to say, from a non-Scot perspective, is pretty awesome. Cunt per square mile, there's hardly any cunt here, and shitloads to do/see. Better than fucking Ireland by a long shot anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said: If you could "fillet" out Glasgow and Dundee, and a couple of other lowland shit holes with shaped nuclear charges, the place would be 3 times better. The rest of it, I have to say, from a non-Scot perspective, is pretty awesome. Cunt per square mile, there's hardly any cunt here, and shitloads to do/see. Better than fucking Ireland by a long shot anyway. I have to admit to loving your home town actually, Quince. In all honesty it's one of the best cities I've been to, and I certainly prefer it to New York and London. As for Ireland, I'm a plastic paddy myself with two sets of grandparents from the place. Dublin is fucking over rated and full of cunts, but suprisingly, and I'm probably the only person to ever say this, I love Cork. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: I love Cork. Tying it all together, if this is said in a Scottish accent Decs, it means something else entirely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 4 minutes ago, Decimus said: I have to admit to loving your home town actually, Quince. In all honesty it's one of the best cities I've been to, and I certainly prefer it to New York and London. As for Ireland, I'm a plastic paddy myself with two sets of grandparents from the place. Dublin is fucking over rated and full of cunts, but suprisingly, and I'm probably the only person to ever say this, I love Cork. It's pretty damn good. Easy as fuck to live in and (nearly) cuntless, so you'ld notice. Can't be fucked with London, though NYC I love- currency rates dependent, it can be fantastic. Yeah dublins a fucking shit hole, like Glasgow it has a good kernel but the rest is sprawling shite full of unbelievable chavs beyond chavvery. It's also true, Cork is actually great , as is Galway - both far enough from the rest of the shite to be individual - great food especially these days, obviously great for a holiday on the severe piss. And the horses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 4 minutes ago, nocti said: Tying it all together, if this is said in a Scottish accent Decs, it means something else entirely. It doesn't roll off the tongue well with a Norfolk accent either, Nocs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted February 15, 2016 Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 15 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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