Toffee-nosed waitresses who think they're it

[Guest nobgobbler]

This never bothered me until recently. We called in at a farm shop on the way home after a long journey, for a coffee mainly and I thought I'd look round the shop hoping to get half a dozen duck eggs and anything else that might appeal. Table 9 was vacant so I headed straight for it, only to be called back by some stuck up cunt with a pen in her hand pointing to the sign "wait here to be seated". Ok so we'll have table 9, job done. Not quite. That's a table for 4, you will have to go in the back room. She looked us up and down, the cheeky cunt. I looked around the place - it was heaving with hoy-tee-toy-ties, punkape was slumped in the corner reading Vogue magazine. She rolled up with a couple of huge menus, and I told her we only wanted drinks. One coffee, one pot of tea. It arrive with no extra jug of water, so not so fucking snooty now. That really pissed me off. She might do well to remember that she works in a fucking farm shop. I could buy and sell her, the fucking idiot. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I'd like to hear the waitresses' side of the story, about how she spends her weekends having to serve some miserable, xenophobic, menopausal munt who doesn't know what a queue is.

[Guest luke swarm]

This is a common problem in hotels, gastro pubs and massage parlours......the minimum wage cunts who do the skivvying seem to get it into their head that somehow they are the establishment and behave in a manner totally incommensurate with their salary or IQ...never really understood this attitude.

But do remember that they are only doing that job because they are too stupid to find employment as anything higher up the foodchain....remember that and be comforted by it.

By the way are you sure it was Vogue that Spunkape was perusing...he usually favours the mens body building glossys or attitude magazine. 

 

[nocti]

15 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

By the way are you sure it was Vogue that Spunkape was perusing...he usually favours the mens body building glossys or attitude magazine. 

 

There's only one magazine our Spunkers subscribes to.

[Bubba C]

42 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

I'd like to hear the waitresses' side of the story, about how she spends her weekends having to serve some miserable, xenophobic, menopausal munt who doesn't know what a queue is.

The manager of said farm shop probably loves customers who take up space for just for a drink, with a jug of tap water to drag the length of time they are sat there for even longer, so has informed the waitress to treat the free-loading profit-eating bastards with contempt so they duly fuck off elsewhere. 

[Frank]

Just now, nobgobbler said:

This never bothered me until recently. We called in at a farm shop on the way home after a long journey, for a coffee mainly and I thought I'd look round the shop hoping to get half a dozen duck eggs and anything else that might appeal. Table 9 was vacant so I headed straight for it, only to be called back by some stuck up cunt with a pen in her hand pointing to the sign "wait here to be seated". Ok so we'll have table 9, job done. Not quite. That's a table for 4, you will have to go in the back room. She looked us up and down, the cheeky cunt. I looked around the place - it was heaving with hoy-tee-toy-ties, punkape was slumped in the corner reading Vogue magazine. She rolled up with a couple of huge menus, and I told her we only wanted drinks. One coffee, one pot of tea. It arrive with no extra jug of water, so not so fucking snooty now. That really pissed me off. She might do well to remember that she works in a fucking farm shop. I could buy and sell her, the fucking idiot. 

Pile of shit.

[Cuntybaws]

53 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

She might do well to remember that she works in a fucking farm shop. I could buy and sell her, the fucking idiot. 

The bovine menial obviously had no idea who you were. She probably made the assumption that you like chlamydia in your tea, though.

[Guest nobgobbler]

5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

The bovine menial obviously had no idea who you were. She probably made the assumption that you like chlamydia in your tea, though.

Never heard of him. 

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, nobgobbler said:

This never bothered me until recently. We called in at a farm shop on the way home after a long journey, for a coffee mainly and I thought I'd look round the shop hoping to get half a dozen duck eggs and anything else that might appeal. Table 9 was vacant so I headed straight for it, only to be called back by some stuck up cunt with a pen in her hand pointing to the sign "wait here to be seated". Ok so we'll have table 9, job done. Not quite. That's a table for 4, you will have to go in the back room. She looked us up and down, the cheeky cunt. I looked around the place - it was heaving with hoy-tee-toy-ties, punkape was slumped in the corner reading Vogue magazine. She rolled up with a couple of huge menus, and I told her we only wanted drinks. One coffee, one pot of tea. It arrive with no extra jug of water, so not so fucking snooty now. That really pissed me off. She might do well to remember that she works in a fucking farm shop. I could buy and sell her, the fucking idiot. 

You're drunk.

[Guest nobgobbler]

20 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

I'd like to hear the waitresses' side of the story, about how she spends her weekends having to serve some miserable, xenophobic, menopausal munt who doesn't know what a queue is.

I don't queue for any fucking thing. That's just a waste of life. You're about right about the other stuff though. I'm a cunt as well.

[Guest nobgobbler]

20 hours ago, luke swarm said:

This is a common problem in hotels, gastro pubs and massage parlours......the minimum wage cunts who do the skivvying seem to get it into their head that somehow they are the establishment and behave in a manner totally incommensurate with their salary or IQ...never really understood this attitude.

But do remember that they are only doing that job because they are too stupid to find employment as anything higher up the foodchain....remember that and be comforted by it.

By the way are you sure it was Vogue that Spunkape was perusing...he usually favours the mens body building glossys or attitude magazine. 

 

This is true. Fuck it, I'll buy the place and sack the cunt.

[scotty]

20 hours ago, luke swarm said:

 

By the way are you sure it was Vogue that Spunkape was perusing...he usually favours the mens body building glossys or attitude magazine. 

 

I'm not having that. Punkers only ever reads the aldi, lidl or tesco special offers flyers.

[Earl of Punkape]

21 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

This never bothered me until recently. We called in at a farm shop on the way home after a long journey, for a coffee mainly and I thought I'd look round the shop hoping to get half a dozen duck eggs and anything else that might appeal. Table 9 was vacant so I headed straight for it, only to be called back by some stuck up cunt with a pen in her hand pointing to the sign "wait here to be seated". Ok so we'll have table 9, job done. Not quite. That's a table for 4, you will have to go in the back room. She looked us up and down, the cheeky cunt. I looked around the place - it was heaving with hoy-tee-toy-ties, punkape was slumped in the corner reading Vogue magazine. She rolled up with a couple of huge menus, and I told her we only wanted drinks. One coffee, one pot of tea. It arrive with no extra jug of water, so not so fucking snooty now. That really pissed me off. She might do well to remember that she works in a fucking farm shop. I could buy and sell her, the fucking idiot. 

You're so lower-middle class.

[Guest MikeD]

1 minute ago, Punkape said:

You're so lower-middle class.

Probably shops at Tesco as well.

[Guest luke swarm]

1 minute ago, Punkape said:

You're so lower-middle class.

never mind all that phony class bollocks Pinky.....the corner is more intrigued as to your reading material......come on it was mens fitness magazine was it not...and you are not really into fitness are you......you just like the illustrations don't you..  

[Guest MikeD]

Just now, luke swarm said:

never mind all that phony class bollocks Pinky.....the corner is more intrigued as to your reading material......come on it was mens fitness magazine was it not...and you are not really into fitness are you......you just like the illustrations don't you..  

Are we?

[Guest luke swarm]

Just now, MikeD said:

Are we?

oh come along Mikey...don't be sore........its just a bit of internetty malarkey.......I like you, I really do.

[Guest MikeD]

1 minute ago, luke swarm said:

oh come along Mikey...don't be sore........its just a bit of internetty malarkey.......I like you, I really do.

Fuck off Frank.

[Earl of Punkape]

Just now, MikeD said:

Are we?

Are we what ?

Are you on your way to a gay bar ?

[Guest MikeD]

Just now, Punkape said:

Are we what ?

Are you on your way to a gay bar ?

Yes. Meet you in the usual place?

[Earl of Punkape]

Just now, MikeD said:

Yes. Meet you in the usual place?

Fuck off you fucking bent bender.

 

[Guest MikeD]

Just now, Punkape said:

Fuck off you fucking bent bender.

 

I meant Tesco.

[Earl of Punkape]

1 minute ago, MikeD said:

I meant Tesco.

You can join Ape and his ghastly wife in there and shove cucumbers up each other's arses.

[Guest nobgobbler]

17 minutes ago, MikeD said:

Probably shops at Tesco as well.

I do. 

[Guest MikeD]

11 minutes ago, Punkape said:

You can join Ape and his ghastly wife in there and shove cucumbers up each other's arses.

A lot of gay references in your posts.

Just saying like.....