War!.. Frank's Bank Holiday Press-Up Challenge

[Cuntybaws]

On 05/05/2016 at 13:21, Bill Stickers said:

If that was the case, he wouldn't be so interested in defending the mccanns. Unless this is a hell of a double bluff. 

I think it probably IS his daughter. My image-enhancing software is still working on the document below it and if, as I suspect, it's her school timetable I will soon know what time her class does PE. Somewhat churlishly, Frank hasn't confirmed what confectionery his little moppet prefers, so I'll just have to trust the statistics and go with Haribo Starmix.

The van is prepared...

 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

I think it probably IS his daughter. My image-enhancing software is still working on the document below it and if, as I suspect, it's her school timetable I will soon know what time her class does PE. Somewhat churlishly, Frank hasn't confirmed what confectionery his little moppet prefers, so I'll just have to trust the statistics and go with Haribo Starmix.

The van is prepared...

 

Fatty's nonce alarm is going full retard. 

[Rev]

3 hours ago, Frank said:

I've set myself up for ridicule here, Rev. On this thread alone I've been called a useless, AIDS ravaged, limp-wristed, e-fagging, bald and fuckwitted off duty waiter. Meanwhile, creepy Baws has honed in on a pic of my daughter stuck to the fridge, whilst others have said that I take it up the shitbox. Naturally I accept all of that.. and you can set me on fire, but I do question my membership when a fellow punter is allowed to suggest that I'd buy a kitchen from Wickes.

You're quite right, klefto. We elegant few must rise above the fucking riff-raff and the mere suggestion that an arbiter of such perspicacity and wisdom would stoop to buy the wares of those Formica-based bastards Wickes is quite frankly fucking laughable. They are merely covetous and resentful, yellow-eyed arse-butlers, motivated by grievance against greatness. Let them chuckle into their cans of K cider and black tar heroin-filled spoons, while we reflect on another day's passing, pausing only to decant cask-aged single malt into our crystal-cut tumblers. Cunts.

[Cuntybaws]

1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said:

Fatty's nonce alarm is going full retard. 

Is this one of these challenges where we have to rearrange the above words to form another sentence. one which perhaps paints Fatty in a rather poor light?

[Cuntybaws]

3 minutes ago, Rev said:

You're quite right, klefto. We elegant few must rise above the fucking riff-raff and the mere suggestion that an arbiter of such perspicacity and wisdom would stoop to buy the wares of those Formica-based bastards Wickes is quite frankly fucking laughable. They are merely covetous and resentful, yellow-eyed arse-butlers, motivated by grievance against greatness. Let them chuckle into their cans of K cider and black tar heroin-filled spoons, while we reflect on another day's passing, pausing only to decant cask-aged single malt into our crystal-cut tumblers. Cunts.

Surely a blended malt is a better accompaniment for a prawn bhuna?

[Guest DingTheRioja]

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

Surely a blended malt is a better accompaniment for a prawn bhuna?

You mean Aldi's own brand?

[Rev]

20 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Surely a blended malt is a better accompaniment for a prawn bhuna?

Agreed, Mr B. However, sharing a bottle of God's piss with some of the quality-deficient primates here would be like gifting a helicopter licence to a vision-impaired epileptic spastic.

 

[Guest Snatch]

2 hours ago, Rev said:

You're quite right, klefto. We elegant few must rise above the fucking riff-raff and the mere suggestion that an arbiter of such perspicacity and wisdom would stoop to buy the wares of those Formica-based bastards Wickes is quite frankly fucking laughable. They are merely covetous and resentful, yellow-eyed arse-butlers, motivated by grievance against greatness. Let them chuckle into their cans of K cider and black tar heroin-filled spoons, while we reflect on another day's passing, pausing only to decant cask-aged single malt into our crystal-cut tumblers. Cunts.

You can't deny though Rev that in his video he was somewhat light on his loafers.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

3 hours ago, Rev said:

You're quite right, klefto. We elegant few must rise above the fucking riff-raff and the mere suggestion that an arbiter of such perspicacity and wisdom would stoop to buy the wares of those Formica-based bastards Wickes is quite frankly fucking laughable. They are merely covetous and resentful, yellow-eyed arse-butlers, motivated by grievance against greatness. Let them chuckle into their cans of K cider and black tar heroin-filled spoons, while we reflect on another day's passing, pausing only to decant cask-aged single malt into our crystal-cut tumblers. Cunts.

You're everything pinkape wishes he could be. I've underestimated you Rev. You seem like an upper crust sort of cunt.

Did you partake in that most noble and gentlemanly sport, Off Road Nun Buggering, during the corner's halcyon yesteryear? 

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

You're everything pinkape wishes he could be. I've underestimated you Rev. You seem like an upper crust sort of cunt.

Did you partake in that most noble and gentlemanly sport, Off Road Nun Buggering, during the corner's halcyon yesteryear? 

What are your thoughts on Admin knocking me off of my hard earned perch at the top of the all time likes tree? The under handed cunt has gone and awarded himself 20 000 likes bill. Either that or you are contracting out your like farmers. It's a fucking outrage.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

8 minutes ago, Decimus said:

What are your thoughts on Admin knocking me off of my hard earned perch at the top of the all time likes tree? The under handed cunt has gone and awarded himself 20 000 likes bill. Either that or you are contracting out your like farmers. It's a fucking outrage.

Whilst I didn't find it remotely amusing, I think it's the funniest thing admin has ever done. 

[Bubba C]

23 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Whilst I didn't find it remotely amusing, I think it's the funniest thing admin has ever done. 

Now that is a cunting. Pay attention ding, that's how you deliver one.  Gift wrapped and Special Delivery. 

Is MikeD dead? 

[Guest luke swarm]

18 minutes ago, Bubbles said:

Now that is a cunting. Pay attention ding, that's how you deliver one.  Gift wrapped and Special Delivery. 

Is MikeD dead? 

He will never learn Bubs.....4300 posts to date.

Quality cunting is something beyond his ken

[scotty]

58 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Whilst I didn't find it remotely amusing, I think it's the funniest thing admin has ever done. 

Admin has more humour than you think, bill. He was responsible for one of my highest scoring jokes on sicki, about that story about meat being "grown" in test tubes in some laboratory somewhere. The frankenscientists made a burger from it, but estimated that the cost of producing said burger was a quarter of a million quid. Admin posted something about it which lead me to steal his idea (as baws will attest) and post it on sicki, to whit...

 

I finished my test-tube burger, and the waitress brought me the bill.

"Two hundred and fifty grand??" I gasped. "How is that even possible?"

"We got the bun from Waitrose," she replied.

 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

1 hour ago, Bubbles said:

Now that is a cunting. Pay attention ding, that's how you deliver one.  Gift wrapped and Special Delivery. 

Is MikeD dead? 

That's what you meant.

[Rev]

6 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

You're everything pinkape wishes he could be. I've underestimated you Rev. You seem like an upper crust sort of cunt.

Did you partake in that most noble and gentlemanly sport, Off Road Nun Buggering, during the corner's halcyon yesteryear? 

Many thanks for your kind words. Indeed I did, Bill, although to be fair, it didn't elicit the same delirium as Post-Dual Carriageway Collision Single Mother Fucking. The more seriously injured they were, the more moist they seemed to be, especially if they'd lost bladder control and consciousness. It has to be said, the bastard nuns had cunts on them like parchment, but their balloon knots squeaked like a fucking whore's mattress.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

7 hours ago, Rev said:

Many thanks for your kind words. Indeed I did, Bill, although to be fair, it didn't elicit the same delirium as Post-Dual Carriageway Collision Single Mother Fucking. The more seriously injured they were, the more moist they seemed to be, especially if they'd lost bladder control and consciousness. It has to be said, the bastard nuns had cunts on them like parchment, but their balloon knots squeaked like a fucking whore's mattress.

Insightful stuff. I think you are the most perverse little man I've ever encountered. 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Insightful stuff. I think you are the most perverse little man I've ever encountered. 

*cough*

[Rev]

8 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Insightful stuff. I think you are the most perverse little man I've ever encountered. 

Jesus Fucking Christ, Bill. Are you grooming me?

[cuntspotter]

On 03/05/2016 at 8:15 AM, Frank said:

I think my body of work here is largely misunderstood, decs. What are your thoughts? There's no subliminal message... I was just having a moment. 

Yes, the sort of moment that is beginning to make this once esteemed site look like Sodomy Central.

[Frank]

On 04/05/2016 at 13:21, Cuntybaws said:

That little girl on the fridge is cute, Frank. What sort of sweeties does she like?

Jesus fucking Christ. 

[Decimus]

51 minutes ago, Frank said:

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Bawsey should've gone to Specsavers.

LOL.

[Frank]

36 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Bawsey should've gone to Specsavers.

LOL.

I’m in a lot of trouble decs. I have a small portfolio of commercial buildings here in the City and I haven’t seen any rent for almost a year. The coffers are empty... self-esteem is shot. To top it all, last night I got a call from Frank senior.. ‘Sit down son, your worries are over. Your mum’s found a fifty pence piece with Peter Rabbit on the back. We’ve googled it and it’s worth at least ten thousand pounds’. I put the phone down and cried out loud. 
 

 

[Dyslexic cnut]

10 minutes ago, Frank said:

I’m in a lot of trouble decs. I have a small portfolio of commercial buildings here in the City and I haven’t seen any rent for almost a year. The coffers are empty... self-esteem is shot. To top it all, last night I got a call from Frank senior.. ‘Sit down son, your worries are over. Your mum’s found a fifty pence piece with Peter Rabbit on the back. We’ve googled it and it’s worth at least ten thousand pounds’. I put the phone down and cried out loud. 

Warren you complaining about?

[Decimus]

22 minutes ago, Frank said:

I’m in a lot of trouble decs. I have a small portfolio of commercial buildings here in the City and I haven’t seen any rent for almost a year. The coffers are empty... self-esteem is shot. To top it all, last night I got a call from Frank senior.. ‘Sit down son, your worries are over. Your mum’s found a fifty pence piece with Peter Rabbit on the back. We’ve googled it and it’s worth at least ten thousand pounds’. I put the phone down and cried out loud. 
 

 

I'm just glad that Frank snr is alive and well, I feared the worst. Faded cigarette burn scars on your arms and memories of being forced to scrub vomit stains out of his black cab aside, would you say that he's been a good father?