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Utilities cunts


colonelkurtz

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
1 hour ago, Punkape said:

I'll bet you still wet the bed too....

Ponce.

lol.

I've been trying to bribe your energy supplier to switch you from natural gas to Zyklon B.

 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
5 hours ago, Manky said:

I always switch all the plugs off when not using them. I am petrified that electricity will seep out and electrocute me while I sleep. Either that or cause an electric explosion and blow the roof off.

Paracetamol protects one 100% against errant electrical fields, if taken in sufficient quantities, 60 or so for the larger, more slovenly proportioned gentleman is guaranteed effective.

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1 minute ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Paracetamol protects one 100% against errant electrical fields, if taken in sufficient quantities, 60 or so for the larger, more slovenly proportioned gentleman is guaranteed effective.

You must think I am fucking thick.

How do you get the round pills in the square holes in the plug sockets?

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
10 minutes ago, Manky said:

You must think I am fucking thick.

How do you get the round pills in the square holes in the plug sockets?

Crush them up and ram them in with a long copper stick.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
Just now, Punkape said:

Lick the copper whilst you push it in to improve the contact....

Don't be disgusting. I wouldn't lick a copper if he were glazed in honey.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
7 minutes ago, Punkape said:

You're first in the oven if you're anything like your avatar weirdo.....

Last time I tried to use the oven you had got in there first, doing your best Sylvia Plath impersonation in a pair of suspenders with a cucumber shoved up your rectum.

 

lol 

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Guest Bill Stickers
12 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Potato. 

I stand by potato. Only cunts order them baked in a pub. People have attacked my character over the nomination, but not the subject matter itself. Rather telling I think. 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
10 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

I stand by potato. Only cunts order them baked in a pub. People have attacked my character over the nomination, but not the subject matter itself. Rather telling I think. 

Oh! Sorry. I'll give it some serious thought. No I won't . Fuck your potato. I've had yacht this yacht that , why should you swan about without rebuke, as unctuous as fucking custard. 

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11 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Oh! Sorry. I'll give it some serious thought. No I won't . Fuck your potato. I've had yacht this yacht that , why should you swan about without rebuke, as unctuous as fucking custard. 

On the one hand there's "heli-skiing with John Leslie" - on the other we have "Flinders crispy pancakes".

And you thought Sophie's Choice was a toughie!

 

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Guest nobgobbler
On 15/08/2016 at 6:36 PM, Bill Stickers said:

Congratulations on your most boring post to date. I go away for four days, and without anyone to keep you in check, you're running amok like you own the fucking place with your boring, shitty, mid-life crisis nonsense.

I mean really Ding. Bloody fucking Norah. The amount of times you've used the word Bill in this diatribe... it really reflects badly on me if anyone is using the search function to dig up my hilarious material past and present.

 

All Bills are cunts.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
On August 15, 2016 at 7:39 AM, Panzerknacker said:

I'd be a lazy consumer I just get a bill and Pay it ...must start reading them 

Panzerknacker 

The bill for your use of this forum comes to just under a tenner. I can accept payment electronically, just provide me your account information. You'll receive a proper receipt of payment from our bank in Nigeria.  

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1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said:

The bill for your use of this forum comes to just under a tenner. I can accept payment electronically, just provide me your account information. You'll receive a proper receipt of payment from our bank in Nigeria.  

It's fone banking I'll give ya the number 1800 shitebag. .operator's are waiting on your call 

Panzerknacker 

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