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Cunts that say "barstewards" instead of "bastards".


Guest Tata Steely Dan

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

Smug cunts that think they are cleverly circumventing language rules on Internet discussion pages. Confusingly they get offended at real swear words, especially "cunt" for some reason. Furthermore they often don't understand the metaphor 'gravy train' and use it on a wildly ad hoc basis. White van men of the Internet, basically, usually found hanging around the Daily Mail comments section, the Guido Fawkes website and any website that concerns the armed forces past or present. 

"All these barstewards in Brussels are just trying to climb the slippery EU gravy train". (3,500 upvotes on the Daily Mail comments section and climbing!)

Typically these same cunts write "David CaMORON" and "Tony BLIAR", using capital letters to emphasise their witty punning lest you miss it otherwise. In the highly rare cases that the commentator is female they habitually end their post with kisses, as in "I wud cut off the barstewards hands if they tried to lay a hand on my daughter Aisha xxx".

Cunts to a tee.

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Guest luke swarm
2 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Smug cunts that think they are cleverly circumventing language rules on Internet discussion pages. Confusingly they get offended at real swear words, especially "cunt" for some reason. Furthermore they often don't understand the metaphor 'gravy train' and use it on a wildly ad hoc basis. White van men of the Internet, basically, usually found hanging around the Daily Mail comments section, the Guido Fawkes website and any website that concerns the armed forces past or present. 

"All these barstewards in Brussels are just trying to climb the slippery EU gravy train". (3,500 upvotes on the Daily Mail comments section and climbing!)

Typically these same cunts write "David CaMORON" and "Tony BLIAR", using capital letters to emphasise their witty punning lest you miss it otherwise. In the highly rare cases that the commentator is female they habitually end their post with kisses, as in "I wud cut off the barstewards hands if they tried to lay a hand on my daughter Aisha xxx".

Cunts to a tee.

That's quite a longwinded nomination TSD, when all you really wanted to say was that you hated cunts like Manky.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
1 minute ago, luke swarm said:

That's quite a longwinded nomination TSD, when all you really wanted to say was that you hated cunts like Manky.

A simpleton chav cunt who has been dining out on the 'I'm ex forces, me' card for years because he worked in the slop house at Camp Freddy serving hungry troops who had, conversely, actually seen some military action? Why, you might be onto something...

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7 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

CAMERA-ON...

Which tosspot was it on here who used that a lot?

That would be our old chum judgetwi.. He last visited on September 8th, so not dead yet, but hasn't posted for a whlle despite Ratty's best attempts to winkle him out.

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Guest DingTheRioja
Just now, Cuntybaws said:

That would be our old chum judgetwi.. He last visited on September 8th, so not dead yet, but hasn't posted for a whlle despite Ratty's best attempts to winkle him out.

Judge?

Homo-Harley-Chaps-kebab-poof-racist-winkle-bedsit-stavros-fight-kebab-Frank-queer-bint-restaurant-donner-slapper-winkie!!!

 

D'ya reckon that'll work?

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2 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Judge?

Homo-Harley-Chaps-kebab-poof-racist-winkle-bedsit-stavros-fight-kebab-Frank-queer-bint-restaurant-donner-slapper-winkie!!!

 

D'ya reckon that'll work?

What upset the old-timer the most.. really shook him to the bone, was that greasy pile of shit I posted through his door. I remember gagging violently without vomiting whilst trying to poke it through his brass vertical letterbox. 

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Guest DingTheRioja
Just now, Frank said:

What upset the old-timer the most.. really shook him to the bone, was that greasy pile of shit I posted through his door. I remember gagging violently without vomiting whilst trying to poke it through his brass vertical letterbox. 

You know what the problem is Frank?

I really, really want to believe you...

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
2 minutes ago, Frank said:

What upset the old-timer the most.. really shook him to the bone, was that greasy pile of shit I posted through his door. I remember gagging violently without vomiting whilst trying to poke it through his brass vertical letterbox. 

You should have made a funnel from greaseproof paper.

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Just now, Bubba C said:

I'm not going to quite you, STD as it'll probably crash the internet, but to say, good nom. 

I knew a cunt who used to say "bleep" instead of swearing.

What a cunt, dead now though. Hopefully. 

I once worked with a cunt who said "blinking" and - get this - "jeepers". It was like a nightmare cross between Moss from the IT Crowd and Scooby fucking Doo.

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Guest DingTheRioja
Just now, scotty said:

It wouldn't, ding. It really wouldn't. 

Come on now, a video of Frank, skinny whites round his ankles, tippy toeing on a wheelie-bin, pressed hard up against a cold brass letterbox, grimacing hard, all the whilst singing Mike's Got a Walnut Head through his gritted teeth...

Top of the Leaderboard for a month, guaranteed.

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1 minute ago, DingTheRioja said:

Come on now, a video of Frank, skinny whites round his ankles, tippy toeing on a wheelie-bin, pressed hard up against a cold brass letterbox, grimacing hard, all the whilst singing Mike's Got a Walnut Head through his gritted teeth...

Top of the Leaderboard for a month, guaranteed.

Thanks a fucking bunch for that image ding. I'll sleep well tonight. 

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8 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

A simpleton chav cunt who has been dining out on the 'I'm ex forces, me' card for years because he worked in the slop house at Camp Freddy serving hungry troops who had, conversely, actually seen some military action? Why, you might be onto something...

Fuck off knob. Us 70's and 80's cold war warriors never went near an angry man. Or cookhouses.

Chav? I think not. White Van Man attitude? Maybe.

Now fuck off while I iron my Burberry pyjamas before telling the Mail what I think.

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8 hours ago, luke swarm said:

That's quite a longwinded nomination TSD, when all you really wanted to say was that you hated cunts like Manky.

He is in good company then. The fucking barsteward.

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9 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

A simpleton chav cunt who has been dining out on the 'I'm ex forces, me' card for years because he worked in the slop house at Camp Freddy serving hungry troops who had, conversely, actually seen some military action? Why, you might be onto something...

Better to spend 10 years in C Company than spend 10 years on B Wing you thick Caledonian dibdob.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
10 hours ago, Frank said:

What upset the old-timer the most.. really shook him to the bone, was that greasy pile of shit I posted through his door. I remember gagging violently without vomiting whilst trying to poke it through his brass vertical letterbox. 

You learn everything on here. But, this is the first time somebody has described an arse hole as a vertical letterbox.

 

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