Eric Cuntman Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 1 minute ago, Ape said: Lafin! Flid life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Flid life! Word, bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Well if you will whore yourself out in some dystopian, 'pimp my cubicle' hell-hole, you can hardly expect your fellow drudge-monkeys to be that high up the food chain. Just be thankful the simian hordes don't fling their own shit about the gaff, whilst intoning the phrase 'Sorry - the systems gone down' to your irate customer base Dear Mr Cock, I must apologise that our system was down when you called earlier, but hopefully our Best of Barry Manilow hold music put a smile on your face while you waited? Having now consulted our customer database I can advise you that we are unable to do anything to improve your credit rating, as I'm afraid that those sorts of criminal convictions are permanent. Furthermore, while we all had a good laugh at the picture you sent us of your genitals, I further regret to inform you that you are not eligible for PPI compensation simply because of their unfortunate shape. Sadly, you need to actually have an account with us, rather than a genetic defect, and despite your assertions otherwise PPI does not actually stand for anything to do with penis inadequacy. Yours etc.... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 38 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Dear Mr Cock, I must apologise that our system was down when you called earlier, but hopefully our Best of Barry Manilow hold music put a smile on your face while you waited? Having now consulted our customer database I can advise you that we are unable to do anything to improve your credit rating, as I'm afraid that those sorts of criminal convictions are permanent. Furthermore, while we all had a good laugh at the picture you sent us of your genitals, I further regret to inform you that you are not eligible for PPI compensation simply because of their unfortunate shape. Sadly, you need to actually have an account with us, rather than a genetic defect, and despite your assertions otherwise PPI does not actually stand for anything to do with penis inadequacy. Yours etc.... Unless you're already in with the CIA, you're wasted in your current role. Phone tapping with that degree of precision? It's not been seen since the days of Piers Morgan and his buccaneering 'don't give a shit' attitude to phone hacking the parents of Milly Dowler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Wolfie said: Is this correct, Quincy? Is it a taser? She should shove it up her arid clam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Bubba C said: Office be fucked, it's a bijou* unit on an industrial estate, we've all seen the pictures. I bet they have those shitty little electric heaters in the winter and share an Aldi purchased desk fan in the summer months. *fucking tiny and fucking shit I bet they go out back to shit in a drain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Its just as the woman at Anne Summers told you. Unscrew the endcap of the hollow shaft and slide in 5 double A batteries, then refit endcap. Not a pair of 24v 200A hgv batteries then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 13 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: I bet they go out back to shit in a drain. Drains/mouths. Potato/pile of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 10 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Is it a taser? She should shove it up her arid clam. Rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 Has this nom been edited? I'm sure there was more stuff after my post? Anyway, what about eaters of ripe peaches? Noisy, sloppy, slurping, slavering, dribbling cunts they are! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Has this nom been edited? I'm sure there was more stuff after my post? Anyway, what about eaters of ripe peaches? Noisy, sloppy, slurping, slavering, dribbling cunts they are! Edited yes, censored yes. Its all bollocks, yes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 CRUNCH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 4 hours ago, Noakes said: Edited yes, censored yes. Its all bollocks, yes! No posts on this thread have been removed or edited by the moderating team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 Just now, Rick_B said: No posts on this thread have been removed or edited by the moderating team. I was taking the piss! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 Apple iPad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted February 20, 2017 Report Share Posted February 20, 2017 On 2/8/2017 at 6:13 AM, Snatch said: I presume that's just a warm up before you really go to town on the cunts arses. You know how it is, you have to get your focus before your skills shine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted February 20, 2017 Report Share Posted February 20, 2017 Not a bad nom. but what are your views on people who stuff hard fruit (such as a banana) up their arseholes in quiet environments? I'm asking on behalf of a fellow poster named after a popular genre of music and a mammal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 On 7 February 2017 at 9:02 PM, Ape said: I don't spend much time in the office area where I work, but whenever I do, there's always a couple of noisy cunts munching away like fucking pigs. How those sat opposite these cunts manage to resist smashing them in the face is beyond me. I become irrationally angry at the sound of someone taking horse-sized bites out of a Granny Smith, and then chomping away without even attempting to keep their fucking mouth shut. Disgusting, rude, ignorant turds. I've just had to sit through 10 mins of the cunt over the way munching his way through a bag of presumably rocks. Combined with his constant sniffing and the fact he's Australia I may have to strangle the cunt. Look out for me on the news tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: I've just had to sit through 10 mins of the cunt over the way munching his way through a bag of presumably rocks. Combined with his constant sniffing and the fact he's Australia I may have to strangle the cunt. Look out for me on the news tonight. He must be a real fat cunt if he's Australia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 50 minutes ago, Snatch said: He must be a real fat cunt if he's Australia. I believe there's a separate nom for spelling nazis, fuck off you tit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: I believe there's a separate nom for spelling nazis, fuck off you tit Bollocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I know that Cunt Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 On 07/02/2017 at 9:02 PM, Ape said: I don't spend much time in the office area where I work, but whenever I do, there's always a couple of noisy cunts munching away like fucking pigs. How those sat opposite these cunts manage to resist smashing them in the face is beyond me. I become irrationally angry at the sound of someone taking horse-sized bites out of a Granny Smith, and then chomping away without even attempting to keep their fucking mouth shut. Disgusting, rude, ignorant turds. But on the other had they have to tolerate you which must be far worse for them as they are merely noisy eaters and you are a fucking horrible cunt. No offence like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 6 minutes ago, I know that Cunt said: But on the other had they have to tolerate you which must be far worse for them as they are merely noisy eaters and you are a fucking horrible cunt. No offence like. Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 Gentlemen PLEASE, the last 6 posts have been nothing but petty childish bickering, and it is upsetting me. Please refrain, and aim your collective vitriol toward Bubba and Ding. Now they are truly deserving of your abuse. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I know that Cunt Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 13 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Gentlemen PLEASE, the last 6 posts have been nothing but petty childish bickering, and it is upsetting me. Please refrain, and aim your collective vitriol toward Bubba and Ding. Now they are truly deserving of your abuse. Cunts. Well yes I agree they are deserving especially that welsh fuckwit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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