The Price Of "Designer" Fragrances

[Ape™️]

I like the smell of a nice eau de parfum or eau de toilette, but fuck the fuck off with some of the prices. I realise that there must be development costs, but some of these cunts are charging over £1000 a litre for some of this stuff. Fucking cunts.

*waits for IKTC to wade in with his big old wedge of cash that he's got on account of living with his mum*

[Cap'n Cunt]

I wouldn't want to smell like a designer, anyway. I'd rather smear myself with badger shit.

 

[Ape™️]

Just now, Cap'n Cunt said:

I wouldn't want to smell like a designer, anyway. I'd rather smear myself with badger shit.

 

I thought you already did that?

[Guest DingTheRioja]

Are you talking Eau De Jordan or Toilet de Chav?

[Guest Lady Penelope]

14 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Are you talking Eau De Jordan or Toilet de Chav?

"Old Legionaire".

[Guest Lady Penelope]

[Cap'n Cunt]

52 minutes ago, Ape said:

I thought you already did that?

Nothing wrong with badger shit. At least it keeps the poofs away.

[camberwell gypsy]

21 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Nothing wrong with badger shit. At least it keeps the poofs away.

You could market that. "Cap'n Cunt's poofaway". 

[Ape™️]

7 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Nothing wrong with badger shit. At least it keeps the poofs away.

Somehow I can't see you having a need to keep people away - I'm sure they do it of their own volition.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

There should be a ban on over scented people in restaurants. It can affect the taste of the food as much as the smell of some fucker lighting up (a ban I agree with and I even agreed it when I used to smoke cigarettes). You pay good money to smell as well as taste your food (smell is part of taste), not the glandular oozings of some ox and the spew from a whale. Subtlety is the key with scent surely, but when people spend loads on this eye watering inducing over priced shite then they will want you to know about it, so covering themselves in it. Stinking cunts.

"Why do women wear make up and perfume daddy?" asked this little lad in the queue at the supermarket

"Because they are ugly and they smell son" came his dad's immediate response, the mum didn't look too impressed, I reckon dad was sleeping on the couch that night.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said:

There should be a ban on over scented people in restaurants. It can affect the taste of the food as much as the smell of some fucker lighting up (a ban I agree with and I even agreed it when I used to smoke cigarettes). You pay good money to smell as well as taste your food (smell is part of taste), not the glandular oozings of some ox and the spew from a whale. Subtlety is the key with scent surely, but when people spend loads on this eye watering inducing over priced shite then they will want you to know about it, so covering themselves in it. Stinking cunts.

"Why do women wear make up and perfume daddy?" asked this little lad in the queue at the supermarket

"Because they are ugly and they smell son" came his dad's immediate response, the mum didn't look too impressed, I reckon dad was sleeping on the couch that night.

The man's right. That's why I need no make up. Apart from the stuff I use for my legs to make them shiny. 

[Hokey Gingers]

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

The man's right. That's why I need no make up. Apart from the stuff I use for my legs to make them shiny. 

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

The man's right. That's why I need no make up. Apart from the stuff I use for my legs to make  them shiny. 

i have this mental image of you being a double 'Heather Mills' with a tin of Ronseal Woodstain for some strange reason.

[Earl of Punkape]

15 hours ago, Ape said:

I like the smell of a nice eau de parfum or eau de toilette, but fuck the fuck off with some of the prices. I realise that there must be development costs, but some of these cunts are charging over £1000 a litre for some of this stuff. Fucking cunts.

*waits for IKTC to wade in with his big old wedge of cash that he's got on account of living with his mum*

Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ?

Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes?

If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl.

Add a half pint of your own urine.

Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved.

Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head.

 You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment !

Fuck off.

 

[Guest Ollyboro]

I've never understood this whole aspiring to smell like the celebrity who's got their name on the fucking bottle of scent. Why the fuck would anycunt wish to smell like Kim fucking Kardashian? ie fat arses and spunk; Liz fucking Taylor - formaldehyde and spunk; Victoria fucking Beckham - bones and spunk; Jade fucking Goody - cancer and spunk; Cheryl fucking Tweedy Cole Fernandez Vagina - spunk and spunk.

Personally this urban cool cat about town is more than happy to continue sashaying through the crowds emitting the natural aromas of fresh cock sweat (my own) and stale dog gleet.

[Ape™️]

11 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ?

Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes?

If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl.

Add a half pint of your own urine.

Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved.

Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head.

 You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment !

Fuck off.

 

A typical response from a predictable and tedious stereotype. Fuck off.

[PANZER MURPHY]

1 hour ago, Punkape said:

Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ?

Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes?

If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl.

Add a half pint of your own urine.

Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved.

Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head.

 You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment !

Fuck off.

 

Top form today punkers baby..got some fine cuntbaggery goin on

Panzerknacker 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

3 hours ago, Hokey Gingers said:

Hokey, I've given you a like, and now I'll give you some advice..... if you see a flamenco looking lady walking up to your front door, move house, now....

1 hour ago, Ollyboro said:

I've never understood this whole aspiring to smell like the celebrity who's got their name on the fucking bottle of scent. Why the fuck would anycunt wish to smell like Kim fucking Kardashian? ie fat arses and spunk; Liz fucking Taylor - formaldehyde and spunk; Victoria fucking Beckham - bones and spunk; Jade fucking Goody - cancer and spunk; Cheryl fucking Tweedy Cole Fernandez Vagina - spunk and spunk.

Personally this urban cool cat about town is more than happy to continue sashaying through the crowds emitting the natural aromas of fresh cock sweat (my own) and stale dog gleet.

yeah, but I'd still fuck Cheryl Cole 5 ways from Sunday, just shove some of those rubber earplugs up my nose, and put a clothes peg on it just in case....

[Cuntybaws]

3 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

I've never understood this whole aspiring to smell like the celebrity who's got their name on the fucking bottle of scent. Why the fuck would anycunt wish to smell like Kim fucking Kardashian? ie fat arses and spunk; Liz fucking Taylor - formaldehyde and spunk; Victoria fucking Beckham - bones and spunk; Jade fucking Goody - cancer and spunk; Cheryl fucking Tweedy Cole Fernandez Vagina - spunk and spunk.

I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe.

[Eric Cuntman]

12 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe.

There's a whole episode of South Park virtually dedicated to to the 'horsiness' of SJP...go on Bawsy, you know you want to post a clip.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

There's a whole episode of South Park virtually dedicated to to the 'horsiness' of SJP...go on Bawsy, you know you want to post a clip.

The cartoon version of her is probably better looking.... although to be fair... not bad for a 50 year old...

 

 

 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I cannot begin to express my gratitude that she at least has the decency to keep the jungle below tamed, and not overgrowing the swim cossie!!!  

[Guest nobgobbler]

On 09/04/2017 at 10:15 PM, Ape said:

I like the smell of a nice eau de parfum or eau de toilette, but fuck the fuck off with some of the prices. I realise that there must be development costs, but some of these cunts are charging over £1000 a litre for some of this stuff. Fucking cunts.

*waits for IKTC to wade in with his big old wedge of cash that he's got on account of living with his mum*

Mr Gobbler buys my perfume so I don't care how much it costs. You could try Grey Flannel @ £3 on ebay, unfortunately Punky bought the lot, he bathes in it.

[Guest nobgobbler]

On 10/04/2017 at 1:29 PM, Punkape said:

Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ?

Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes?

If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl.

Add a half pint of your own urine.

Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved.

Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head.

 You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment !

Fuck off.

 

Having a nice long soak in grey flannel tonight?

[Guest nobgobbler]

On 10/04/2017 at 5:40 PM, Cuntybaws said:

I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe.