The Imminent Return Of The Cunting Premier League Season

[Earl of Punkape]

2 minutes ago, Ape said:

Normally I'd want to know how you stopped the hedgehog splitting (duct tape is the recommended method, I'm told) but I can't imagine your needle dick splitting anything bigger than a ladybird.

It's been a bit of a prickly topic with my Aunt....

[Ape™️]

6 minutes ago, Punkape said:

It's been a bit of a prickly topic with my Aunt....

You seem different. Old Punkape would never say shit like this. Has being outed rattled you?

[Stubby Pecker]

2 minutes ago, Ape said:

You seem different. Old Punkape would never say shit like this. Has being outed rattled you?

I think my kindly, matey advice of him becoming a better person has worked. Self deprecation indeed...

[Roadkill]

2 minutes ago, Ape said:

You seem different. Old Punkape would never say shit like this. Has being outed rattled you?

Even if it isn't him I'd still like to see the delusional cunt dragged out of his cardboard box golf club and beaten to shit by a bunch of  Asperger knights. Maybe we should just throw him and Panzy to the wolves for a bit of a laugh? They can hunt them down and settle it with a Thunderdome.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

16 minutes ago, Ape said:

You seem different. Old Punkape would never say shit like this. Has being outed rattled you?

No denial coming yet I see. 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

1 hour ago, Punkape said:

I was stung by a wasp on the golf course some months ago and a nasty infection ensued.......the lemon cheese was an excellent ointment.

 

Have you ever stirred an hornets nest?

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Ape said:

Do you know what irony is?

Its like aluminiumy. But it goes rusty 

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, The Lady Penelope said:

You are trying to trap me

He's behind you 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He's behind you 

Arghhhh ....

[Guest Lady Penelope]

10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Its like aluminiumy. But it goes rusty 

During my brief period in Rail House there was an old fossil who kept enquiring about costings for something he called "al loon nee hum".

[Wolfie]

13 hours ago, Manky said:

That Brazilian faggot, Neymar is on a cool half a million per week, in 2 weeks he earns as much as I will earn in my working life. I would like to play against him for half an hour until the grim reaper drags my lifeless, exhausted corpse to a better place. He may be a world class player, let's see how he does against a world champion faggot mutilater and Olympic gold medallist cunt kicker.

Those 50 gays didn't throw themselves in the canal you know.

65 less 16 = 49 working years. £1,000,000/49 = a salary of approximately £20k per year. While this would normally indicate a thick, unskilled and useless cunt who can't land a well-paid job, you actually seem to have a prestigious level of income for someone living in Manchester.

[Guest Mingeeta]

13 hours ago, Punkape said:

An aunt of mine makes a super lemon cheese.

When I have a sore knob I stick it in the pot and it acts as a nice soothing balm. The flavour remains unimpaired.

Well at least it's cheaper than buying vaseline spunkers.

[Guest Mingeeta]

12 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

No denial coming yet I see. 

The only thing coming Alf is his Nigerian rentboy into his gaping back passage.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Some people who don't like football are well adjusted individuals.

Most on here probably hate it for more tragic reasons; typically their father or other patriarchal friends and family being too embarrassed of them to take them, or not having any mates to go with in general. 

[Wolfie]

15 hours ago, Punkape said:

Actually no.....I was trying to reach a rather attractive hedgehog in the same thicket as the wasp.

Idiot.

Fuck off.

An attraction to hedgehogs is a rather odd one, Spunkers. Be mindful not to sit on one, though I imagine the feeling of several pricks on your bum cheeks is not unfamiliar.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

13 hours ago, Punkape said:

It's been a bit of a prickly topic with my Aunt....

I bet school was difficult for you. There's no doubt in my mind all the older children called you Dicky Doublegay.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

21 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

I bet school was difficult for you. There's no doubt in my mind all the older children called you Dicky Doublegay.

The younger children did the same to him too.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Some people who don't like football are well adjusted individuals.

Most on here probably hate it for more tragic reasons; typically their father or other patriarchal friends and family being too embarrassed of them to take them, or not having any mates to go with in general. 

I think having Brighton as my local team was embarrassing enough to put anyone off football. Things are different now they are in the Premiership with a half decent ground. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

For once I actually believe Punkers recent & ongoing desire for hedgehogs and all of the pricks that go with them. As for his Lemon Turd nonsense, it's nowt but a load of crap, and even though it pains me to admit such a thing, Ape is correct as football is for gaysters & cunts, like Willy, who I'd wager supports Queens Park Puffters. 

[Guest Manky]

3 hours ago, Wolfie said:

65 less 16 = 49 working years. £1,000,000/49 = a salary of approximately £20k per year. While this would normally indicate a thick, unskilled and useless cunt who can't land a well-paid job, you actually seem to have a prestigious level of income for someone living in Manchester.

Trust me, thick and useless are words often used in the same breath as my name. I have spent many years doing more than one job. For fun and games rather than necessity. My ambition is to afford to join Punkapes golf club, then once in, go berserk with an axe.

[Stubby Pecker]

2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

For once I actually believe Punkers recent & ongoing desire for hedgehogs and all of the pricks that go with them. As for his Lemon Turd nonsense, it's nowt but a load of crap, and even though it pains me to admit such a thing, Ape is correct as football is for gaysters & cunts, like Willy, who I'd wager supports Queens Park Puffters. 

Bilbo, the soppy cunt, went to a t20 game the other day, thus proving he's a footballist. I think he had a crowd catch-he caught herpes sitting next to punkers! 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Bilbo, the soppy cunt, went to a t20 game the other day, thus proving he's a footballist. I think he had a crowd catch-he caught herpes sitting next to punkers! 

I'd wager that he sucks more than a slice of orange come half-time. 

[Eric Cuntman]

19 hours ago, Ape said:

You seem different. Old Punkape would never say shit like this. Has being outed rattled you?

Strange isn't it? Almost as if somebody else is understudying for the usual actor.

[Guest Spanky]

7 hours ago, Mingeeta said:

The only thing coming Alf is his Nigerian rentboy into his gaping back passage.

Do you never tire of this tedious gayboy trolling of Punkape? Or do you just enjoy describing acts of homosexuality in the most graphic of detail? I'm starting to think that you, Alfie and Stubby are co-authoring a queer erotic novel and simply using CC to share ideas.

[Cuntybaws]

4 minutes ago, Spanky said:

I'm starting to think that you, Alfie and Stubby are co-authoring a queer erotic novel and simply using CC to share ideas.

They do say, "Write what you know."