Neil Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Fuck me sideways!,shes gone and bought four tops to go out for an evening meal."which one do you like?",any one of them that you fucking like,tried them all on one by one,different shoes for each outfit,different bag for each outfit,when will it fucking end?. "Which one makes me look the thinnest?"...er,none of 'em.you can't hide a fucking arse that big with just clothes,fucking sure I've got a spare tarpaulin on the van. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 1 minute ago, Neil said: Fuck me sideways!,shes gone and bought four tops to go out for an evening meal."which one do you like?",any one of them that you fucking like,tried them all on one by one,different shoes for each outfit,different bag for each outfit,when will it fucking end?. "Which one makes me look the thinnest?"...er,none of 'em.you can't hide a fucking arse that big with just clothes,fucking sure I've got a spare tarpaulin on the van. that's quite a lot of effort for the local Weatherspoons isn't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Abdul "Duke" Fakir is the only original one of The Four Tops left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 17 minutes ago, Neil said: Fuck me sideways!,shes gone and bought four tops to go out for an evening meal."which one do you like?",any one of them that you fucking like,tried them all on one by one,different shoes for each outfit,different bag for each outfit,when will it fucking end?. "Which one makes me look the thinnest?"...er,none of 'em.you can't hide a fucking arse that big with just clothes,fucking sure I've got a spare tarpaulin on the van. Mrs. N has no doubt got a strong gag reflex after being ridden by your fat, fucking sweaty hulk for the past 30 years. However, it's a bit much to expect her to keep down her chicken McNuggets and fries whilst wearing a tarpaulin drenched in hooker blood and terrier spunk. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Just tell your Mum to put on what she feels comfortable in, and hurry the fuck up about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Which ever ones she’s chooses, it’ll be covered in spunk by 9pm. Guaranteed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Just tell her that nobody will care, a sleep gown will be more flattering than anything she has purchased! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Venturing into Suffolk so she'll probably be the skinniest fucker there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 6 minutes ago, nocti said: Just tell your Mum to put on what she feels comfortable in, and hurry the fuck up about it. Err....embalming fluid? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 5 minutes ago, Ape said: Which ever ones she’s chooses, it’ll be covered in spunk by 9pm. Guaranteed. Probably,she does tend to dribble a bit since the stroke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 28 minutes ago, Neil said: Fuck me sideways!,shes gone and bought four tops to go out for an evening meal."which one do you like?",any one of them that you fucking like,tried them all on one by one,different shoes for each outfit,different bag for each outfit,when will it fucking end?. "Which one makes me look the thinnest?"...er,none of 'em.you can't hide a fucking arse that big with just clothes,fucking sure I've got a spare tarpaulin on the van. Neil. Stab her in the heart and be done with it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 25 minutes ago, luke swarm said: that's quite a lot of effort for the local Weatherspoons isn't it. They're having chicken breasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 59 minutes ago, Snatch said: Abdul "Duke" Fakir is the only original one of The Four Tops left. It's the same old song with you. Up your game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 58 minutes ago, Neil said: Venturing into Suffolk so she'll probably be the skinniest fucker there! I almost fucking forgot there's a Wetherspoons in Beccles or will it be the Harvester at Corton, which I imagine Neil is very familiar with as it has one of his favourite beaches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 40 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: the Harvester at Corton, which I imagine Neil is very familiar with as it has one of his favourite beaches. Indeed, it's where he first bumped into Mrs. N. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Neil said: Probably,she does tend to dribble a bit since the stroke What end does she dribble from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 3 hours ago, Neil said: Fuck me sideways!,shes gone and bought four tops to go out for an evening meal. As soon as a woman is talking about which 'nice top' to wear rather than which dress to wear you know that your time is up. Get shot of her, trade her in, never look back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Yes is the usual response yes,yes,yes,yes but you've said yes to everything which one is it...just fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: What end does she dribble from? All three Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 Make out you're ill next time, she can fuck off for the night and you can do what you usually do...wank yourself in to oblivion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 7 hours ago, Fender777 said: Make out you're ill next time, she can fuck off for the night and you can do what you usually do...wank yourself in to oblivion. ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz Yes you do send every cuntbrain to sleep including yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 15 hours ago, Decimus said: Indeed, it's where he first bumped into Mrs. N. Excellent choice of whale, Decs. Doubly apt as, also known as the Cachalot - which quite possibly, perfectly describes her hungry mouth, and the gargantuan amount of pies and spunk it gorges on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 18 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Yes you do send every cuntbrain to sleep including yourself. YAWNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 Just now, Lady Penelope said: YAWNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzz! Has your insomnia kicked in again, get yourself to the quacks as i have heard there is a wonderful new drug but please don't OD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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