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Cycle helmets


Guest Manky

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4 hours ago, Manky said:

It seems the nanny state wants cycle helmets and high-vis jackets to be compulsory for cyclists.

These fucking comedians can't even force motorists to stop playing Call of Duty on their Xbox 360 whilst driving, or phoning gay chat lines in heavy traffic.

I need my ninja senses whilst cycling and enclosing my shed in recycled Tizer bottles will diminish my powers. What is the point of being more visible if the world polluting drivers don't even look out of their steel boxes?If I die at the hands of some Facebook gay fanboy doing 90mph while liking his own breakfast photographs on social media, the health and safety zealots will have my blood on their hands.

The least you lycra wearing cunts could do is give us some entertainment as you belligerently pedal along in front of us on narrow streets at a snails pace. Being forced to dress up like Power Rangers is a light punishment for your kind in my book - I'd have you all get off your toys and dance on command to anyone who has a real license and the inclination to make you do so.

Even apes can ride bikes if they're trained. Just because you can manage it without stabilisers doesn't impress me, and you don't have the strength to disembowel a man with your bare hands, so the only real way to prove yourself  better than that shit throwing lot is through the medium of dance.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
9 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

This thing must be built to withstand a rear-end collision, right?

Dad_pulling_son_in_trailer.jpg

I think Punky may have been carted around in one of these when he was younger. It would explain his fascination with mens arses having to stare right into the brown hole on every trip to the shops.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
9 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

We've got one but only for the woods. There's no fucking way I'd put the stubblets in this with the plethora of utter fuckwits who get behind the wheel pissed or stoned or both.

Has yours got the high vis flag hanging limply at the back to make it really visible?

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9 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

This thing must be built to withstand a rear-end collision, right?

Dad_pulling_son_in_trailer.jpg

Of course.

The addition of a small child to the crumple zone of any vehicle, be it, bike, car, Type 45 Destroyer or Chinook Helicopter, increases the occupants chances of survival by 50%.

The resilience factor of the musculoskeletal anatomy of an under 3 is amazing!

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3 minutes ago, Ape said:

Coming from the reference standard for shit posts, that’s pretty rich.

Indeed Monkey Man. But we do need reference standards to measure ourselves by. I used to tire myself out telling Lady P how shit she was, but I've come to appreciate her role on her. By the same token, how would we know what cynical pedalling of half truths and lies were if we didn't have Christianity?

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4 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Good evening.

Have you been flying your model helicopters over the weekend ?

Do you fly them at the local youth club or at the or at the Boy Scouts Association ?

lol.

Fuck off.

no one flies helicopters Punkle; they temporarily stop them crashing.

Or in Colin McRae's case....

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Just now, Punkape said:

Why don’t you play golf ?

 You could join one of the inferior working men’s club type clubs....a lot of plebs play and enjoy themselves..... lol.

Wanker.

Why don’t you fly model helicopters? You could buy a cheap, Chinese coaxial rotor model, with shitty infrared control. They’re so easy to fly, even a semen-engorged faggot such as you could enjoy some air time.

Fuck off.

 

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51 minutes ago, Ape said:

Why don’t you fly model helicopters? You could buy a cheap, Chinese coaxial rotor model, with shitty infrared control. They’re so easy to fly, even a semen-engorged faggot such as you could enjoy some air time.

Fuck off.

 

I don’t want to be creeping around around youth clubs.....

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37 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Why don’t you play golf ?

 You could join one of the inferior working men’s club type clubs....a lot of plebs play and enjoy themselves..... lol.

Wanker.

Pitch and putt is quite good if you're out with a bint, but why would you choose to play a faggy game like golf when you could play snooker or darts and not be viewed as an effete ponce? I have several spare sets of darts, let me know if you decide to join the male species and I'll post you a set to get you started on the road to heterosexualality.

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10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Pitch and putt is quite good if you're out with a bint, but why would you choose to play a faggy game like golf when you could play snooker or darts and not be viewed as an effete ponce? I have several spare sets of darts, let me know if you decide to join the male species and I'll post you a set to get you started on the road to heterosexualality.

Darts and snooker.....oh dear, you really are a pleb.

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Guest Lady Penelope
1 hour ago, Ape said:

Talking of reference standards for shit posts, here’s the SI unit of shit himself.

What are your thoughts on the British Railways standard steam locomotives?

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