HR Human Resources

[Guest N/A]

HR Human Resources is a new thing to me having worked in private practice most of my career.  Recently sold out to a huge multi national and will be stopping on and so being indoctrinated into the world of corporate bollocks.   Now back in the day there was just the Payroll Department that consisted of an old dear who sat on her own on a floor nobody ever went to in an office the size of a cupboard.  Now there seems to be a battalion of stern faced clip board wielding public school ma’am cunts goose stepping around the place issuing directives every 3 minutes via emails like Exocettes. (Ask you Dad, for anyone under the age of 40).its a Faulklands thing.

This new breed of cunt fuck provide no tangible benefit to the working day or productivity to the business, we have done fine without them for over 20 years. Yet the head HR cunt is a board member and is paid almost as much as a bloke.  

Best rule I have seen this week is,  “ no member of staff out on site can cross a road as part of their working activity. All staff must  park their vehicle on the side of the road they are working on”. 

These cunts are like public school boy nanny ma’am’s gone fucking mental.  A whole industry has been created for nosey, interfering, self important, nanny cunts, who’s previous only use was to wheel public school boy babies around and fucking bitch at the school gates.   Who let these fucking useless cunts into the adult world?

They don’t even pour the coffee or bring any biscuits to meetings.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

2 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

HR Human Resources is a new thing to me having worked in private practice most of my career.  Recently sold out to a huge multi national and will be stopping on and so being indoctrinated into the world of corporate bollocks.   Now back in the day there was just the Payroll Department that consisted of an old dear who sat on her own on a floor nobody ever went to in an office the size of a cupboard.  Now there seems to be a battalion of stern faced clip board wielding public school ma’am cunts goose stepping around the place issuing directives every 3 minutes via emails like Exocettes. (Ask you Dad, for anyone under the age of 40).its a Faulklands thing.

This new breed of cunt fuck provide no tangible benefit to the working day or productivity to the business, we have done fine without them for over 20 years. Yet the head HR cunt is a board member and is paid almost as much as a bloke.  

Best rule I have seen this week is,  “ no member of staff out in site can cross a road as part of their working activity. All staff must  park their vehicle on the side of the road they are working on”. 

These cunts are like public school boy nanny ma’am’s gone fucking mental.  A whole industry has been created for nosey, interfering, self important, nanny cunts, who’s previous only use was to wheel public school boy babies around and fucking bitch at the school gates.   Who let these fucking useless cunts into the adult world?

They don’t even pour the coffee or bring any biscuits to meetings.

Hopefully HR will realise you’re an utterly unemployable wanker and terminate you by the book, leaving you no legal resource. 

Cant wait to read your nomination in 6 months time about how the queue at the dole office is too long.

 

[Guest N/A]

19 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Hopefully HR will realise you’re an utterly unemployable wanker and terminate you by the book, leaving you no legal resource. 

Cant wait to read your nomination in 6 months time about how the queue at the dole office is too long.

 

My termination would cost them too much unfortunately. So iam doomed to suffer another 8 years of this shit until I retire.   I do genuinely pity your snowflake millennialist generation with having to put up with this shit all your working careers.  Having to work in an office where there in no banter, having to sit next to a liquirice all sort, with no way of workplace bullying them to move elsewhere, leave, or commit suicide. Which ever is the the most efficient.  

[Witheredscrote]

3 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

My termination would cost them too much unfortunately. So iam doomed to suffer anothe 8 years of this shit until I retire.   I do genuinely pity your snowflake millennialist generation with having to put up with this shit all your working careers.  Having to work in an office where there in no banter, having to sit next to a liquirice all sort, with no way of workplace bullying them to move elsewhere, leave, or commit suicide. Which ever is the the most efficient.  

Calm down MC, your grammar goes to shit when you get annoyed with the spastics on here. Cracking good nom by the way.

[Guest luke swarm]

27 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

HR Human Resources is a new thing to me having worked in private practice most of my career.  Recently sold out to a huge multi national and will be stopping on and so being indoctrinated into the world of corporate bollocks.   Now back in the day there was just the Payroll Department that consisted of an old dear who sat on her own on a floor nobody ever went to in an office the size of a cupboard.  Now there seems to be a battalion of stern faced clip board wielding public school ma’am cunts goose stepping around the place issuing directives every 3 minutes via emails like Exocettes. (Ask you Dad, for anyone under the age of 40).its a Faulklands thing.

This new breed of cunt fuck provide no tangible benefit to the working day or productivity to the business, we have done fine without them for over 20 years. Yet the head HR cunt is a board member and is paid almost as much as a bloke.  

Best rule I have seen this week is,  “ no member of staff out in site can cross a road as part of their working activity. All staff must  park their vehicle on the side of the road they are working on”. 

These cunts are like public school boy nanny ma’am’s gone fucking mental.  A whole industry has been created for nosey, interfering, self important, nanny cunts, who’s previous only use was to wheel public school boy babies around and fucking bitch at the school gates.   Who let these fucking useless cunts into the adult world?

They don’t even pour the coffee or bring any biscuits to meetings.

I have nommed this bollocks a couple of years ago but I agree its always worth a revisit as my hatred of these HR cunts knows no bounds.They used to be called Personnel when I started work in the 70s but have morphed into the biggest load of utterly useless section of humanity since estate agents evolved. Constantly coming out with management speak gibberish and seizing on any new management concept such as "lean" or options for change. All this really means one thing. Doing more with less people or outsourcing.

None of it works and it always ends up making the end product worse, however these cunts then always sell it as a great success because they have managed to make half the workforce redundant. Along with management consultants, public relations Cunts and employment agencies these people are slowly strangling this country.    

 

[Cap'n Cunt]

"paid almost as much as a bloke"? Fuck me, you need to get out of there pretty smartish. They'll be making bumming compulsory next, you mark my words. 

[and]

1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

"paid almost as much as a bloke"? Fuck me, you need to get out of there pretty smartish. They'll be making bumming compulsory next, you mark my words. 

Punky thought bumming was compulsory for most of his life.

[Wolfie]

22 minutes ago, r-soles said:

Punky thought bumming was compulsory for most of his life.

Hilarious repeat bollocks from one of the site's knuckle-dragging blue collar inbreds. Idiot. Fuck off.

[Decimus]

4 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

Calm down MC, your grammar goes to shit when you get annoyed with the spastics on here. Cracking good nom by the way.

Stop liking his posts, you odious fucking toad.

When you finally do us all a favour and die of your peculiarly slow and lazy form of cancer, the cunt will still be sticking around boring the rest of us to death because you have given him the impression that what he posts isn't a load of absolute fucking shit.

@Monumental cunt just to clear it up for you, nothing you have ever posted has been worth the time that you spent smashing it out with your fliddy hands on your spastic computer. 

Now fuck off, the pair of you.

[Witheredscrote]

9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Stop liking his posts, you odious fucking toad.

When you finally do us all a favour and die of your peculiarly slow and lazy form of cancer, the cunt will still be sticking around boring the rest of us to death because you have given him the impression that what he posts isn't a load of absolute fucking shit.

@Monumental cunt just to clear it up for you, nothing you have ever posted has been worth the time that you spent smashing it out with your fliddy hands on your spastic computer. 

Now fuck off, the pair of you.

I mention spastics on here, and you reply.  Eric will be chuffed. New clique indeed. Vivre.

 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

There is NO Clique.

[scotty]

13 minutes ago, Miss Penelope said:

There is NO Clique.

Only cliquebait. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I cannot express with enough emotion just how much I loathe and despise HR cunts.  There aren't enough words in the language to say insipid fucking cunts.  I'd like to see the lot of them electrocuted.  

[Last Cunt Standing]

5 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

 Exocettes

a Faulklands

5 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

a liquirice

This office you work in, not The Gruaniad, is it?

Moaning about your cubicle-based existence in some dreary Slough trading estate is a bit too mild by The Corner standards. Try Mumsnet. If you really are 8 years off retirement, show some creativity and do something else with your life.

Cunt.

This place has gone to the dogs. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

26 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

This office you work in, not The Gruaniad, is it?

Moaning about your cubicle-based existence in some dreary Slough trading estate is a bit too mild by The Corner standards. Try Mumsnet. If you really are 8 years off retirement, show some creativity and do something else with your life.

Cunt.

This place has gone to the dogs. 

@r-soles  Are you going to tolerate that?  

[Decimus]

6 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

@r-soles  Are you going to tolerate that?  

It's a bank holiday so I imagine that R-Soles' spastic hostel is running on skeleton staff. They can't be expected to change his nappy and read and relay posts to him.

[Wolfie]

26 minutes ago, Decimus said:

It's a bank holiday so I imagine that R-Soles' spastic hostel is running on skeleton staff. They can't be expected to change his nappy and read and relay posts to him.

I hope the toilets are wheelchair-friendly, otherwise he'll be picking up his own shit with doggie bags.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

It's a bank holiday so I imagine that R-Soles' spastic hostel is running on skeleton staff. They can't be expected to change his nappy and read and relay posts to him.

They will or they won't, I'm not bothered either way.  R'sey is a right cunt.  

[Guest Erroreptile404]

6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

My termination would cost them too much unfortunately. So iam doomed to suffer another 8 years of this shit until I retire.    

Hopefully we don't have to suffer another 8 years of your shit on here.

6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

  I do genuinely pity your snowflake millennialist generation with having to put up with this shit all your working careers.  Having to work in an office where there in no banter, having to sit next to a liquirice all sort, with no way of workplace bullying them to move elsewhere, leave, or commit suicide. Which ever is the the most efficient.  

That's waciiiist.

[Guest N/A]

11 hours ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

Hopefully we don't have to suffer another 8 years of your shit on here.

That's waciiiist.

Is a confectionary

[Guest N/A]

12 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

This office you work in, not The Gruaniad, is it?

Moaning about your cubicle-based existence in some dreary Slough trading estate is a bit too mild by The Corner standards. Try Mumsnet. If you really are 8 years off retirement, show some creativity and do something else with your life.

Cunt.

This place has gone to the dogs. 

Mums net is my usual description for this fucking sterile wank fest of a forum.    Don’t snake my saying.  You fucking snaker 

[Guest N/A]

12 hours ago, Decimus said:

Stop liking his posts, you odious fucking toad.

When you finally do us all a favour and die of your peculiarly slow and lazy form of cancer, the cunt will still be sticking around boring the rest of us to death because you have given him the impression that what he posts isn't a load of absolute fucking shit.

@Monumental cunt just to clear it up for you, nothing you have ever posted has been worth the time that you spent smashing it out with your fliddy hands on your spastic computer. 

Now fuck off, the pair of you.

Dec.....it would be great to every now and then get a Nom out of you.   I know it’s hard for you what with Mrs Dec leaving you for that Phillipino ladyboy and taking your kids but leaving you with the brown one.  It must be cramped above the kebab shop.   But if you can spare us all a little bit of time, please do join in.

you massive boring cunt.

[Stubby Pecker]

3 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

Dec.....it would be great to every now and then get a Nom out of you.   I know it’s hard for you what with Mrs Dec leaving you for that Phillipino ladyboy and taking your kids but leaving you with the brown one.  It must be cramped above the kebab shop.   But if you can spare us all a little bit of time, please do join in.

you massive boring cunt.

Oh dear, see you the 6 weeks...

Reported. Mentioning family is the lowest of the low, you gutless fucking coward

[Guest N/A]

17 hours ago, luke swarm said:

I have nommed this bollocks a couple of years ago but I agree its always worth a revisit as my hatred of these HR cunts knows no bounds.They used to be called Personnel when I started work in the 70s but have morphed into the biggest load of utterly useless section of humanity since estate agents evolved. Constantly coming out with management speak gibberish and seizing on any new management concept such as "lean" or options for change. All this really means one thing. Doing more with less people or outsourcing.

None of it works and it always ends up making the end product worse, however these cunts then always sell it as a great success because they have managed to make half the workforce redundant. Along with management consultants, public relations Cunts and employment agencies these people are slowly strangling this country.    

 

“Personnel Dept” that’s what they were called, you are correct. How the fuck did they jump from that to the HR cunts of today?  

 We are all currently havIng our roles and responsibilities “re-imagined” by these cunt at the moment, not that they have a fucking clue what we do.  It’s a fucking liberty to be interviewed by some girl who’s just let go of mummies hand, and she’s asking me about my job I have been doing since before she was born.    

[Guest N/A]

13 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Oh dear, see you the 6 weeks...

Reported. Mentioning family is the lowest of the low, you gutless fucking coward