Guest Drew Peacock Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 4 hours ago, Wolfie said: Did this prevent her from rimming you later? I'm afraid rimming has been off the menu from the day she first washed my pants about 30 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 48 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: I would normally agree, however some of the sewage that has been dropping out of my arse recently is weapons grade radioactive. If let loose into the atmosphere it could kill all of Gloucestershire before its half life makes it safe. It’s like something bad has crawled up my arse and died, it needs raking out but in a confined space. I blame it on Guinness and Cheese crackers, mixed with a lot of green veg and salad, Some Diet Coke, and a bag of Randoms. Try diabetic sweets. I swear I did a continous 45 second fart after scoffing a whole bag. Funny as fuck. Strange that the wife didn't seem to think so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 25 minutes ago, Drew Peacock said: I'm afraid rimming has been off the menu from the day she first washed my pants about 30 years ago. Is she planning to wash them for a second time anytime soon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Is she planning to wash them for a second time anytime soon? She would have to scrape them off with a thin razor blade, to start with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 41 minutes ago, Drew Peacock said: I'm afraid rimming has been off the menu from the day she first washed my pants about 30 years ago. One thing that puzzles me is that when I mention you to Judge he talks about "Bent" and "Nine bob notes". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted August 10, 2018 Report Share Posted August 10, 2018 1 hour ago, DrCunt said: Try diabetic sweets. I swear I did a continous 45 second fart after scoffing a whole bag. Funny as fuck. Strange that the wife didn't seem to think so. Isn’t that a sing of homosexual butt raping, having a 45 second fart? Stickers has them all the time I’ve heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 12 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: I would normally agree, however some of the sewage that has been dropping out of my arse recently is weapons grade radioactive. If let loose into the atmosphere it could kill all of Gloucestershire before its half life makes it safe. It’s like something bad has crawled up my arse and died, it needs raking out but in a confined space. I blame it on Guinness and Cheese crackers, mixed with a lot of green veg and salad, Some Diet Coke, and a bag of Randoms. You forgot about the 12 litres of spunk you’ve anally ingested too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 A couple were sitting at the bar in their local. As they both were sporting a deep healthy tan the barman enquired if they had just returned from their holidays. The bloke said they indeed had just returned but he couldn`t be sure of the location although he thought it was an island. " Rhodes....Crete??" asked the barman ""No...no...." replied the punter. "Cyprus...Majorca ??" " No....i don`t think so." The barman served some customers and returned minutes later. " Gran Canaria ..Tenerife ??" " No, not them. Tell me, what do you call that green plant that grows on the sides of trees and buildings?" " Ivy" replied the barman. The punter turns to his wife and says " Ivy, where did we go on our fucking holidays ? " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 23 minutes ago, Hokey Gingers said: A couple were sitting at the bar in their local. As they both were sporting a deep healthy tan the barman enquired if they had just returned from their holidays. The bloke said they indeed had just returned but he couldn`t be sure of the location although he thought it was an island. " Rhodes....Crete??" asked the barman ""No...no...." replied the punter. "Cyprus...Majorca ??" " No....i don`t think so." The barman served some customers and returned minutes later. " Gran Canaria ..Tenerife ??" " No, not them. Tell me, what do you call that green plant that grows on the sides of trees and buildings?" " Ivy" replied the barman. The punter turns to his wife and says " Ivy, where did we go on our fucking holidays ? " Don't give up your day job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 On 7/23/2018 at 5:11 PM, 'eavensabove said: Have you raised this matter with those that you live with? If not, then install a proper fan (as pictured) in the centre of your cloakroom, and next time you take a shit, place a turd upon each rotary fan blade, and retreat to the garden area. I wouldn't do that. The shit will definitely hit the fan. Oh...wait! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 23 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I wouldn't do that. The shit will definitely hit the fan. Oh...wait! It was worth the weight in this instance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 4 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: It was worth the weight in this instance. You could do the old 'top deck' routine. Someone you don't like, shit in their cistern. That'll learn 'em. I'm waiting for Frank to invite me round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 9 hours ago, Bubba C said: You forgot about the 12 litres of spunk you’ve anally ingested too. Nice one bubba. Drink bleach 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 28 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You could do the old 'top deck' routine. Someone you don't like, shit in their cistern. That'll learn 'em. I'm waiting for Frank to invite me round. You could shit in that cunts mouth, and he'd only enjoy it. A bullet to his head is a safer bet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 14 hours ago, Bubba C said: You forgot about the 12 litres of spunk you’ve anally ingested too. Orally digested Bubba, Orally. I could win a drinking competition with Marc Almond. Google it if you are too young. Or ask and I will explain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 5 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Nice one bubba. Drink bleach Kill yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Filthy Cunt Posted August 12, 2018 Report Share Posted August 12, 2018 I like to hare the aroma of my toxic gasses as much as is possible. I often subject my wife to Dutch Oven before turning off the bedside lamp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted August 12, 2018 Report Share Posted August 12, 2018 10 hours ago, Filthy Cunt said: I like to hare the aroma of my toxic gasses as much as is possible. I often subject my wife to Dutch Oven before turning off the bedside lamp. Was she still there this morning, suffering from a Chinese Burn? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew Peacock Posted August 12, 2018 Report Share Posted August 12, 2018 On 8/10/2018 at 8:43 PM, DrCunt said: Try diabetic sweets. I swear I did a continous 45 second fart after scoffing a whole bag. Funny as fuck. Strange that the wife didn't seem to think so. Women just don't get it. I can remember a wedding some years ago when I let rip mid-service on a church pew. It reverberated the entire length of the front row. Instead of the expected nod of approval, I got that look like I'd just shit in her handbag and the silent treatment all the way home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest killemall Posted August 21, 2018 Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 have to admit i qualify for this,although i definitely didn`t do it on purpose,i was on a service call in a customers house & she asked me to set something up in her bedroom,while she was downstairs in the kitchen.i suddenly had an extreme urge to snap one off in her upstairs loo,i fired one out which reeked horribly & on turning to open the window i found they were screwed shut with security bolts & couldn`t see the key anywhere!made my excuses & left quick sharp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 21, 2018 Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 21 minutes ago, killemall said: have to admit i qualify for this,although i definitely didn`t do it on purpose,i was on a service call in a customers house & she asked me to set something up in her bedroom,while she was downstairs in the kitchen.i suddenly had an extreme urge to snap one off in her upstairs loo,i fired one out which reeked horribly & on turning to open the window i found they were screwed shut with security bolts & couldn`t see the key anywhere!made my excuses & left quick sharp. Were you public school educated by any chance ? Harrow or Winchester ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest killemall Posted August 21, 2018 Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 fuck me,i`m getting trolled on me first day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches Posted August 21, 2018 Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 I lived near a sewage works so it had to be judged on the nature of the human delivery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 21, 2018 Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 3 minutes ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said: I lived near a sewage works so it had to be judged on the nature of the human delivery. This is a bigger confession than Drew and his bungalow. You fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 21, 2018 Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 36 minutes ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said: I lived near a sewage works... Was that the one by the abattoir? Can you still hear the spring lambs screaming? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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