Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 I keep hearing an advert on the radio for some service whereby you bug your own house. The premise is that the people in the house have gone on holiday, left the goldfish with the neighbours, and forgotten about whether they locked the back door. The obvious solution would be to phone the fish-bothering neighbour cunts and get them to check. But oh no! These cunts must be from London or something, where anything beyond a salutatory grunt to your neighbour gets the police called on you. The obvious solution, therefore, is to rig your house with a camera network. Same shit on the TV. Install a camera network in your house to make sure your dog isn't trashing the gaff. Amazon started this nonsense with 'Alexa', the open microphone you invite into your house. Now you install a camera system to go with it. If you think that you are the only people who can, and will, access these devices then you are a fucking idiot. In Orwell's 1984, government surveillance devices were mandatory installations in every home. In the real world we voluntarily install this shit and pretend it is doing us a favour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 My sex robot would never split on me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 Frank's house is full of bugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 47 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: My sex robot would never split on me. Whereas your sex hamster almost certainly has already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said: I keep hearing an advert on the radio for some service whereby you bug your own house. The premise is that the people in the house have gone on holiday, left the goldfish with the neighbours, and forgotten about whether they locked the back door. The obvious solution would be to phone the fish-bothering neighbour cunts and get them to check. But oh no! These cunts must be from London or something, where anything beyond a salutatory grunt to your neighbour gets the police called on you. The obvious solution, therefore, is to rig your house with a camera network. Same shit on the TV. Install a camera network in your house to make sure your dog isn't trashing the gaff. Amazon started this nonsense with 'Alexa', the open microphone you invite into your house. Now you install a camera system to go with it. If you think that you are the only people who can, and will, access these devices then you are a fucking idiot. In Orwell's 1984, government surveillance devices were mandatory installations in every home. In the real world we voluntarily install this shit and pretend it is doing us a favour. The in-crowd know that the shell is thin So they all protect the cage they're in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 My abode is definitely bugged, any cunt breaks in dices with Novichok spread liberally on all door handles (that Rasputin bloke down the pub sold it to me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 8 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Frank's house is full of bugs. If by "bugs" you mean highly contagious airbourne viruses, you are probably correct. Fuck knows his blood pathogens are a matter of medical record. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 9 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: My sex robot would never split on me. I see that Sir had the foresight to purchase the AX7749 heavy-duty self-lubricating model with weatherproof skin and splash resistant electronics. Suit you sir. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 9 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: My sex robot would never split on me. Since you have strapped him to a Zimmer frame with heavy duty duct tape there is no danger of that happening anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 13 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Since you have strapped him to a Zimmer frame with heavy duty duct tape there is no danger of that happening anymore. imagine being strapped to Hans Zimmer, the German film score composer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 22 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Since you have strapped him to a Zimmer frame with heavy duty duct tape there is no danger of that happening anymore. You sound like a fucking robot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 51 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: If by "bugs" you mean highly contagious airbourne viruses, you are probably correct. Fuck knows his blood pathogens are a matter of medical record. No. Canine fleas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: No. Canine fleas. Arse lice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 (edited) 10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: My sex robot would never split on me. Ah, but it does wake your carer. Edited October 15, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Arse lice? I Dunno if worms are classed as lice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 58 minutes ago, scotty said: I see that Sir had the foresight to purchase the AX7749 heavy-duty self-lubricating model with weatherproof skin and splash resistant electronics. Suit you sir. Ever seen the film 'Cherry 2000'? A forgotten classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 2 hours ago, cooze said: My abode is definitely bugged, any cunt breaks in dices with Novichok spread liberally on all door handles (that Rasputin bloke down the pub sold it to me) Ras Putin. Black man, dreadlocks and wears a big green yellow and red wooly hat. I know him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 10 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Ah, but it does wake your carer. Neil has one that has a wanking action. He uses it when his carpal tunnel plays him up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Ras Putin. Black man, dreadlocks and wears a big green yellow and red wooly hat. I know him. That's Algernon razzmatazz out of Tiswas. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 14 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: That's Algernon razzmatazz out of Tiswas. Ah, tiswas.... saturday mornings in bed with Sally James and the crew, brilliant stuff. I thought I was the only cunt on here old enough to remember it 👍 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 Just now, scotty said: Ah, tiswas.... saturday mornings in bed with Sally James and the crew, brilliant stuff. I thought I was the only cunt on here old enough to remember it 👍 I used to just imagine being in bed with sally James. I must've had a thing about women in leather, I think my first wank was Suzi Quattro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, scotty said: Ah, tiswas.... saturday mornings in bed with Sally James and the crew, brilliant stuff. I thought I was the only cunt on here old enough to remember it 👍 Great pair of knockers....Then Samantha Fox burst onto the scene... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: I used to just imagine being in bed with sally James. I must've had a thing about women in leather, I think my first wank was Suzi Quattro. Alice Cooper would be more likely in your case..... lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 Just now, Lord Punkape said: Alice Cooper would be more likely in your case..... lol. I'm guessing Sidney Poitier was yours. fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 15, 2018 Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 7 minutes ago, scotty said: Ah, tiswas.... saturday mornings in bed with Sally James and the crew, brilliant stuff. I thought I was the only cunt on here old enough to remember it 👍 Houdi elbow was my favourite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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