Cunts Who Are Toting Up Presents Value While Still Opening Them.

[Hokey Gingers]

What an ungrateful bunch of bastards. You can see them doing the mental arithmetic as they remove the wrapping paper calculating what they spent on you, the outstanding difference and how many presents are left. What they don`t see is the twenty minute wait in the queue the thoughtful and discerning purchaser has made at Poundland or BM Bargains. Blister packs are covid proof and is it my fault Sony don`t shrink wrap Playstation 5`s ? Christ almighty your Grandfather got an orange for Christmas ffs. Accept it for what it is, it`s the thought that counts and cheers for that McCallan 30 year old Single Malt, you shouldn`t have. Seriously though you shouldn`t have... 

[Cunty BigBollox]

Should have brought them an I-pad mini in November for £349 because exactly the same thing is £399 now. That'll learn 'em.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Should have brought them an I-pad mini in November for £349 because exactly the same thing is £399 now. That'll learn 'em.

That's still expensive for a sanitary towel.

[Cunty BigBollox]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's still expensive for a sanitary towel.

I bet you would still pay that if it had one of Dawn Chorus's 28 day eggs on it.

[Eric Cuntman]

19 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I bet you would still pay that if it had one of Dawn Chorus's 28 day eggs on it.

Thanks. That's just fucked my afternoon bacon sarnie plan.

[and]

I got a pair of socks, and a book detailing the creativity behind Steely Dan's Aja (possibly the greatest jazz/rock/pop album ever made IMNSHO)

I bought fuck-all, people are cunts (but you already knew that, didn't you?)

[King Billy]

On 24/12/2020 at 14:40, Cunty BigBollox said:

Should have brought them an I-pad mini in November for £349 because exactly the same thing is £399 now. That'll learn 'em.

My local Poundland doesn’t seem to have any of them in stock. But while searching every aisle in vain I did manage to find a set of battery operated Christmas tree lights, (7 LEDs,batteries not included) and a multipack of very poor quality double sided tape which isn’t sticky on either side.

[ChildeHarold]

I left that life at the age of 16 when I axe murdered all my family one bloody Christmas many years ago. 

[King Billy]

9 hours ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

Lifes full of pleasant surprises it seems, even at Xmas.

I see your not quite the mean spirited miserable, chavy, charity shop thieving, penny pinching, benefit scrounging, soup kitchen slurping, skid marked underwear wearing, pox faced, weasley little cunt i thought you were after all.

Hope you had at least a half decent Xmas. 

 

Reading this I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach   that I may only hate you half as much as I thought I did. On the bright side however, it’s still a hell of a lot.

Happy New Year (sort of)

[and]

15 hours ago, King Billy said:

a multipack of very poor quality double sided tape which isn’t sticky on either side.

So, basically it's 'tape', you can't stick it to anything, but you could use it to tie your victims hands and feet while you torture them, all in all, not a bad result!

[King Billy]

3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

I left that life at the age of 16 when I axe murdered all my family one bloody Christmas many years ago. 

I expect they thought it was a price worth paying to not have to see you ever again.

[Eric Cuntman]

I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay.

Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders.

[Goober]

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay.

Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders.

...or maybe they've put a double dose of hormones in it to trick lthe last of the unfeminized. 

This time next week you'll be tucking your meat and two veg between your legs and dancing naked in front of your mirror. 

Vinnie Jones is a cunt. 

[Cunty BigBollox]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay.

Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders.

Unless Faberge decide to expand the range and start producing moisturisers, face scrubs and other gay shit.

[ChildeHarold]

3 hours ago, King Billy said:

I expect they thought it was a price worth paying to not have to see you ever again.

By Jerry Lewis standards you are a dumbo. 

[King Billy]

33 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

By Jerry Lewis standards you are a dumbo. 

High praise indeed from our resident Dumbomeister. Try harder or give up while you’re still only miles behind.

[King Billy]

38 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Unless Faberge decide to expand the range and start producing moisturisers, face scrubs and other gay shit.

I’ve been finding it very difficult  to find my usual anal bleaching kit in Boots. It must be all that pre Christmas panic buying I heard about on the news. Brexit I guess. I’ll PM Panzy to see what he thinks.

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay.

Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders.

Hi karate and blue stratos are proper gear 

[cuntspotter]

Just now, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Hi karate and blue stratos are proper gear 

Blue stratos...... quality!!

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

2 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

Blue stratos...... quality!!

Old school rules that, i brought some old spice deodorant once in a panic purchase and my mrs gently told me if i continued to arrive home smelling like her grandad she would spark me. Birds have got no class eh 

[Cunty BigBollox]

27 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’ve been finding it very difficult  to find my usual anal bleaching kit in Boots. It must be all that pre Christmas panic buying I heard about on the news. Brexit I guess. I’ll PM Panzy to see what he thinks.

Get yourself one of those Toilet Duck Fresh Disc things. Deposit one of the fresh discs in your crevase as soon as you wake up and leave it there. At the end of the day your brown eye will either be super bright or bleeding profusely. If it's bleeding profusely PM Punkape, he has experience and he may even let you have some glue like substance to make it better.

[Cunty BigBollox]

6 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Hi karate and blue stratos are proper gear 

They call you karate when you're having a wank because you might as well have an empty hand, you nano-penised cunt.

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

Just now, Cunty BigBollox said:

They call you karate when you're having a wank because you might as well have an empty hand, you nano-penised cunt.

Better an empty hand than an empty head you thick cunt, if brains were chocolate you wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie. 

[Cuntybaws]

3 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Deposit one of the fresh discs in your crevase...

There's a fairly significant difference between a crevice and a crevasse, although maybe not in this case?

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Old school rules that, i brought some old spice deodorant once in a panic purchase and my mrs gently told me if i continued to arrive home smelling like her grandad she would spark me. Birds have got no class eh 

Uncanny. My grandad used to bath in that shit as well. Brut was the iconic 80s one for me. Actually smells nice and at the time, you could buy the watered down '33' version in the plastic bottle for a quid.