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Jeremy Wade's Big Fish Experience

ChildeHarold

By ChildeHarold
in The Corner

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ChildeHarold

ChildeHarold

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Since Jeremy mysteriously segwayed from River Monsters to Dark Waters I still can't make up my mind whether he's an out and out cunt of a hoaxer.  My speculation was intensified by simultaneously having Paranormal Egypt loaded in the DVD Player at the same time with Derek Acorah channelling the spirit of Ramasses III. There were obvious similarities - the heavy reliance on corroborating anecdotage from local ruffians and other colourful characters who clearly you would not trust as far as you could spit - but also differences including the way having been publicly dumped by Most Haunted's Yvette Fielding Derek has moved onto the more tantalising female form of Tessa Dunlop to help him with his act whereas Jeremy always works alone. Plus Jeremy never played professional football. 

Despite moments of genuine dare devil risk taking, I can't go along with any of this caper which takes in various exotic and remote locations across the globe. Every programme starts well with a dramatised bang of victim struggling in the water, then peters out as Jeremy back tracks on (predictably) finding few clues or evidence for the elusive monster, then fizzles out on a whimper and the end credits. What a fucking waste of time. This week he is on the trail of the legendary near extinct monster cod in (of all places) the Australian outback. Salt and vinegar? 

 

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Guest Weary&Disgusted

Guest Weary&Disgusted

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8 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Since Jeremy mysteriously segwayed from River Monsters to Dark Waters I still can't make up my mind whether he's an out and out cunt of a hoaxer.  My speculation was intensified by simultaneously having Paranormal Egypt loaded in the DVD Player at the same time with Derek Acorah channelling the spirit of Ramasses III. There were obvious similarities - the heavy reliance on corroborating anecdotage from local ruffians and other colourful characters who clearly you would not trust as far as you could spit - but also differences including the way having been publicly dumped by Most Haunted's Yvette Fielding Derek has moved onto the more tantalising female form of Tessa Dunlop to help him with his act whereas Jeremy always works alone. Plus Jeremy never played professional football. 

Despite moments of genuine dare devil risk taking, I can't go along with any of this caper which takes in various exotic and remote locations across the globe. Every programme starts well with a dramatised bang of victim struggling in the water, then peters out as Jeremy back tracks on (predictably) finding few clues or evidence for the elusive monster, then fizzles out on a whimper and the end credits. What a fucking waste of time. This week he is on the trail of the legendary near extinct monster cod in (of all places) the Australian outback. Salt and vinegar? 

20210430_223543.jpg

My wife asked me to pick up Fish and Chips on the drive back home. 

She has always regretted allowing me to name our children.  

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and

and

Posted
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19 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

This week he is on the trail of the legendary near extinct monster cod in (of all places) the Australian outback.

A reel fish out of water (see what I did there?)

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

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11 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

My wife asked me to pick up Fish and Chips on the drive back home. 

She has always regretted allowing me to name our children.  

The only scene from 'Talladega Nights' that was funny....

"here are your grandsons, Walker, and Texas Ranger."

"Why did you call them that?"

"Because if we wanted them to grow up to be pussies, we'd have called them 'Dr Quinn' and 'Medicine Woman'!"

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

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23 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Since Jeremy mysteriously segwayed from River Monsters to Dark Waters I still can't make up my mind whether he's an out and out cunt of a hoaxer.  My speculation was intensified by simultaneously having Paranormal Egypt loaded in the DVD Player at the same time with Derek Acorah channelling the spirit of Ramasses III. There were obvious similarities - the heavy reliance on corroborating anecdotage from local ruffians and other colourful characters who clearly you would not trust as far as you could spit - but also differences including the way having been publicly dumped by Most Haunted's Yvette Fielding Derek has moved onto the more tantalising female form of Tessa Dunlop to help him with his act whereas Jeremy always works alone. Plus Jeremy never played professional football. 

Despite moments of genuine dare devil risk taking, I can't go along with any of this caper which takes in various exotic and remote locations across the globe. Every programme starts well with a dramatised bang of victim struggling in the water, then peters out as Jeremy back tracks on (predictably) finding few clues or evidence for the elusive monster, then fizzles out on a whimper and the end credits. What a fucking waste of time. This week he is on the trail of the legendary near extinct monster cod in (of all places) the Australian outback. Salt and vinegar? 

Anyone who watches any of the above mentioned shit deserves to be stabbed a few times in the arteries and dropped into the territorial waters of a starving Carcharhinus Longimanus.

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Guest Weary&Disgusted

Guest Weary&Disgusted

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1 hour ago, Joker said:

A reel fish out of water (see what I did there?)

Now we just need Frank to sing "That's a Moray..."

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camberwell gypsy

camberwell gypsy

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29 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Shut your impudent trap you whiny little cunt.

 

20 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Stop sabotaging my nominations. Impudent my fuck. Fucking take your leaderboard likes and stick them up your arse. 

 

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fuck off cunt.

Alright lads? 

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

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3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

You have no intention of making a positive contribution...

That's a pretty low thing to say to a man who's HIV positive, and shits himself every time the post arrives in case today's the day that the latest test results confirm a transition to full-blown AIDS.

 

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ChildeHarold

ChildeHarold

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1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

That's a pretty low thing to say to a man who's HIV positive, and shits himself every time the post arrives in case today's the day that the latest test results confirm a transition to full-blown AIDS.

 

I have learnt the hard way to turn the other cheek and sometimes both cheeks at the same time while assuming the lotus position. Ahhh so! Me Lotus... You, Praying Mantis? 

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

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3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Ahhh so! Me Lotus... You, Praying Mantis? 

It has been several decades since I last assumed the Lotus position, and the Scorpion was always beyond me. 

Speaking of Mantis, would you fuck Pom Klementieff while she was wearing her antennae? (Don't worry, there is no wrong answer to that question; nor a right one, now that I think about it.)

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

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6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

It has been several decades since I last assumed the Lotus position, and the Scorpion was always beyond me. 

Speaking of Mantis, would you fuck Pom Klementieff while she was wearing her antennae? (Don't worry, there is no wrong answer to that question; nor a right one, now that I think about it.)

Earths mightiest heroes.. like Kevin Bacon!

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ChildeHarold

ChildeHarold

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17 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

It has been several decades since I last assumed the Lotus position, and the Scorpion was always beyond me. 

Speaking of Mantis, would you fuck Pom Klementieff while she was wearing her antennae? (Don't worry, there is no wrong answer to that question; nor a right one, now that I think about it.)

I am a million light years away from these Marvel films so I had to look the nane up and straight to Images, not that impressed. Doesn’t look trustworthy to me. 

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