If Some Cunt Is Nominating Toothbrushes, Them Im Nominating "Washing Baskets"

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

“Hello Ma”

Tell me ma, when I go home, the boys won't leave the girls alone...🎩👔🇬🇧

[Guest Gronda Gronda]

On 13/03/2022 at 04:59, Hammer of Cunts said:

Yeah, and if you put them in the basket with the washing, they'll shit on it. Little cunts.

Babies can't be reasoned with, they can't be bargained with, they do not feel pity or remorse, or fear...

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

"aaawww my Nick, yer a good boy really."

I fucking detest Eastenders, depressing BBC woke PC shite. But Nick Cotton has always been the only character who’s genuinely made me laugh. Years ago when he reappeared  with his little daughter, plotting to kill Dot for the life insurance was priceless. Nick knocked on the fat bird Heaviers door and she said “Your mums not here Nick, and she don’t want to see you anyway”. Nick said to her “Ain’t you got a pie eating contest to go to?” Class.

[camberwell gypsy]

33 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I fucking detest Eastenders, depressing BBC woke PC shite. But Nick Cotton has always been the only character who’s genuinely made me laugh. Years ago when he reappeared  with his little daughter, plotting to kill Dot for the life insurance was priceless. Nick knocked on the fat bird Heaviers door and she said “Your mums not here Nick, and she don’t want to see you anyway”. Nick said to her “Ain’t you got a pie eating contest to go to?” Class.

I saw John Altman years ago strumming a guitar in a band in a pub in Aldgate. Nice guy.

[King Billy]

18 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I saw John Altman years ago strumming a guitar in a band in a pub in Aldgate. Nice guy.

Were Reg Varney and Dick Emery there too?

[Hammer of Cunts]

Obviously, I don't want to derail the thread or interrupt any serious pontifiation, but can I just point out, on a related topic, out that clothes-pegs are right cunts? Every spring, I wash my sheets and underpants, only to find that the fucking pegs snap like fucking carrots. Biodegradability has its uses, but not in something that has to withstand the elements.

 

[Wolfie]

18 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I saw John Altman years ago strumming a guitar in a band in a pub in Aldgate. Nice guy.

I can imagine the old geezer, relaxed and strumming away with a beer, when some cackling old common drunk throws her off-white XXL Primark knickers, huge skidmark straight down the middle, which land and dangle unexpectedly from his tuning pegs.

[camberwell gypsy]

56 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I can imagine the old geezer, relaxed and strumming away with a beer, when some cackling old common drunk throws her off-white XXL Primark knickers, huge skidmark straight down the middle, which land and dangle unexpectedly from his tuning pegs.

Nah. Don't recall Roops being there.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Obviously, I don't want to derail the thread or interrupt any serious pontifiation, but can I just point out, on a related topic, out that clothes-pegs are right cunts? Every spring, I wash my sheets and underpants, only to find that the fucking pegs snap like fucking carrots. Biodegradability has its uses, but not in something that has to withstand the elements.

 

I've fucking had that! The plastic ones, fucking shite made out of plastic that turns to charcoal in sunlight. Stick to wooden ones. Or use a tumble dryer like I do because hanging washing on a line is a bit like sucking cocks and wearing lingerie for my tastes.

[Eric Cuntman]

21 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I saw John Altman years ago strumming a guitar in a band in a pub in Aldgate. Nice guy.

He's the frontman with the re-formed 'Heavy Metal Kids'... apparently Gary Holton wasn't feeling up to it. 

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He's the frontman with the re-formed 'Heavy Metal Kids'... apparently Gary Holton wasn't feeling up to it. 

Remember seeing Gary Holton play in a pub rock band not long before he cashed in his chips. He was totally fucking out of it. 

[Eric Cuntman]

23 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Remember seeing Gary Holton play in a pub rock band not long before he cashed in his chips. He was totally fucking out of it. 

It probably was the Heavy Metal Kids. I had their album, from a second hand record shop, I only bought it because he was on the sleeve and I liked Auf Weiderschein Pet. I didn't know he was a rock star before that. John Altman is a similar type. Probably a good choice if he can sing. 

[camberwell gypsy]

41 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It probably was the Heavy Metal Kids. I had their album, from a second hand record shop, I only bought it because he was on the sleeve and I liked Auf Weiderschein Pet. I didn't know he was a rock star before that. John Altman is a similar type. Probably a good choice if he can sing. 

Holton was living on borrowed time and yet cunts like Richards and MacGowan are still using up air. Luck of the draw I guess.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 hours ago, Dead Penelope said:

Weren't there rumours about Holton being a paedo?

It didn't do Michael Jackson's career any harm. But he did benefit from 'black privilege'.

I imagine Gary Holton had his hands up a few teenagers skirts, but much like the 2 women who accused Jim Davidson, and turned out to have been 19 and 21 at the time, were tripping over each other to shag the famous bloke.

[Penny Farthing]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It didn't do Michael Jackson's career any harm. But he did benefit from 'black privilege'.

I imagine Gary Holton had his hands up a few teenagers skirts, but much like the 2 women who accused Jim Davidson, and turned out to have been 19 and 21 at the time, were tripping over each other to shag the famous bloke.

Allegedly a 9 year old in Holton's case.

[Penny Farthing]

26 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It didn't do Michael Jackson's career any harm. But he did benefit from 'black privilege'.

I imagine Gary Holton had his hands up a few teenagers skirts, but much like the 2 women who accused Jim Davidson, and turned out to have been 19 and 21 at the time, were tripping over each other to shag the famous bloke.

The Holton issue was mentioned in the tabloid press after his death although I can't find it on google .. it was around the same times as Bill Wyman was playing around with the then 15 years old Mandy Smith.

[Eric Cuntman]

15 minutes ago, Dead Penelope said:

Bill Wyman was playing around with the then 15 years old Mandy Smith.

She crawled out from under a stone.

[Penny Farthing]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

She crawled out from under a stone.

Her mother most certainly did.

[Decimus]

On 13/03/2022 at 10:22, Neil said:

I've got a lovely washing basket, she's up the shops getting my dinner at the mo.

I shudder to think what a Sunday dinner at the Neil residence resembles.

I can picture you now, an Eddie Stobart bib tucked under your twenty chins and a swill bucket balanced on your lap full of turkey twizzlers, Billy Bear ham and the ash of twenty cigarettes. Prior to shitting yourself after your thirteenth serving, you no doubt thrash about like a fucking spastic to some fucking awful Motorhead track blaring out of your 25 year old hi-fi system.

You awful cunt.

[King Billy]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I shudder to think what a Sunday dinner at the Neil residence resembles.

I can picture you now, an Eddie Stobart bib tucked under your twenty chins and a swill bucket balanced on your lap full of turkey twizzlers, Billy Bear ham and the ash of twenty cigarettes. Prior to shitting yourself after your thirteenth serving, you no doubt thrash about like a fucking spastic to some fucking awful Motorhead track blaring out of your 25 year old hi-fi system.

You awful cunt.

Most Wetherspoons I’ve seen are much worse than that on a Sunday afternoon. 

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Most Wetherspoons I’ve seen are much worse than that on a Sunday afternoon. 

You should try one on a Drewsday evening in Norwich. He's no doubt in there as we speak, comatose in the disabled toilet with his tenth bottle of wine shoved up his arse.

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, Decimus said:

with his tenth bottle of wine shoved up his arse.

He knows his limits. Ten bottles gently inserted just doesn’t quite reach his liver, the one internal organ he’s looked after all his life. He measures every bottle in case someone’s slipped him a Magnum or a Nebuchadnezzar.

’Bottoms up!’

[Neil]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I shudder to think what a Sunday dinner at the Neil residence resembles.

I can picture you now, an Eddie Stobart bib tucked under your twenty chins and a swill bucket balanced on your lap full of turkey twizzlers, Billy Bear ham and the ash of twenty cigarettes. Prior to shitting yourself after your thirteenth serving, you no doubt thrash about like a fucking spastic to some fucking awful Motorhead track blaring out of your 25 year old hi-fi system.

You awful cunt.

Is your mind so overactive this time of night because you haven't used it all day at work? This site must be a welcome distraction from your mind numbing daily commute to your fucking awful job. How are your team doing these days? Have you seen the Shane Warne video yet? a death the likes of you and I can only dream of eh?

[Eric Cuntman]

3 hours ago, Decimus said:

I shudder to think what a Sunday dinner at the Neil residence resembles.

I can picture you now, an Eddie Stobart bib tucked under your twenty chins and a swill bucket balanced on your lap full of turkey twizzlers, Billy Bear ham and the ash of twenty cigarettes. Prior to shitting yourself after your thirteenth serving, you no doubt thrash about like a fucking spastic to some fucking awful Motorhead track blaring out of your 25 year old hi-fi system.

You awful cunt.

You're back.

[Arnold]

On 12/03/2022 at 19:54, Decimus said:

No, dinner, like every other man, woman and child south of the Trent. "Tea" is a well established northern term, and the last time I checked you were Norfolk born and bred. 

What the fuck are you playing at?

I've had his argument with Mrs A in the past.  When I was at primary school we had school dinners at dinner time, some time between 12 and 1pm. Indeed, we were supervised by dinner ladies. At senior school, my old Mum gave me dinner money on a Monday morning to buy dinner tickets when I got to school. Of course we were no longer supervised by dinner ladies but we ate at around the same time - dinner time.  I believe there was a TV comedy entitled 'Dinner Ladies'.  I never watched it so I don't know what time of the day they were dinner lady-ing, but I'll bet it was between 12 and 1.30pm. They even said it on The Sweeny.

Never in eleven years of primary and secondary education was the word lunch ever mentioned. Therefore, we have dinner at dinner time and tea at tea time.

I rest my case.

However, faithful to balancing an argument, cunts at colleges of further and higher education refer to the canteen as a refectory, so I suppose they must eat their dinner at lunch time.

It's now ten past twelve and I am fucking off for my dinner.

Edited April 9, 2022 by Arnold
Missed out a whole sentence.