The State of The NHS

[Cunty BigBollox]

If it's any consolation to the management in the NHS, P&O makes them look half decent at least.

[Penny Farthing]

9 hours ago, ratcum said:

This joke pre-dates fucking calendars 

Callendar.

[Penny Farthing]

7 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

What about the £350 million a week...oh..wait...lol

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

FUCK OFF!

[Penny Farthing]

6 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Up here its not uncommon to see cunts ordering takeaway directly to the A&E. The poor cunts on the staff had to put up a sign banning the delivery drivers from entering the waiting room, so a lot of the fat cunts make sure to bring a family member or friend along specifically to wait outside and collect their next dose of cholesterol.

Of course the pizza and kebab boxes are quickly hidden away the moment their name is called and they're suddenly at death's door again, and they're always too unwell to clean the resulting litter up before they leave.

But at least they order diet colas with their pizzas and kebabs.

[ratcum]

8 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Up here its not uncommon to see cunts ordering takeaway directly to the A&E. The poor cunts on the staff had to put up a sign banning the delivery drivers from entering the waiting room, so a lot of the fat cunts make sure to bring a family member or friend along specifically to wait outside and collect their next dose of cholesterol.

Of course the pizza and kebab boxes are quickly hidden away the moment their name is called and they're suddenly at death's door again, and they're always too unwell to clean the resulting litter up before they leave.

although from a humble background myself Killer, I do feel let down by the working classes.  In WW1 officers were invariably taller than the men they commanded, simply because the latter had experienced malnutrition in their formative years. Fast forward through social reform and full impact of the Labour Government: what do these idiots do? They eat ALL the food and become obese. As for the ones that continue to have massive families; I'd gass their sorry arses to buggery.

[ratcum]

1 hour ago, Dead Penelope said:

Callendar.

Did you ever get the go ahead for that massage parlour in Chirk?

[Last Cunt Standing]

18 hours ago, Decimus said:

Thoughts?

Well, clearly Decs I could go on all bloody day about this, but I’ll limit myself to just three easy suggestions to start…

1. Prescription reform: 90% of dispensed items attract no fee, and it costs about £9bn a year. Every item should cost a fiver for everyone, perhaps exempting kids under 5. No more will you open a pensioner’s cupboard to meet a cascade of unopened Movicol, Crestor and Apixaban. I’d perhaps allow group discounts, or expand the prepayment card, but where there is no cost, there is no perception of value. The perversity of fat diabetics celebrating when they move onto medications and get “everything free” would end. As would free contraception. If Tracey can afford sixteen Bacardi Breezers, she can afford her Microgynon. Coeliac Disease, is it? And you want NHS bread, cake and pizza bases for free? Fuck off. 

2. Expand payment by activity. If a surgeon can do twelve cataracts in a morning, he should be making 50% than the girl doing eight. As it is they are paid the same for an unspecified block of work. Plus given NHS waiting lists are the best recruitment BUPA can hope for, there’s no incentive for NHS Consultants with private sidelines to work faster, other than appeasing their boss. If the tariff per operation was paid to the surgeon, not the hospital, you watch those waiting times fall. Theatre staff spend far too much time on their arses drinking tea like council roadworks crews.

3. Litigation. If you wish to use NHS services, you either waive your right to sue altogether, or you pay an insurance premium based on the possibility of something going majorly wrong during your treatment. The onus would then be on you fighting your insurer if you aren’t happy with the angle of your mastectomy scar or think the cardiologist could have done more to save your 98 year old grandmother who’s heart is so knackered she can’t lie flat in bed. A couple of vexatious lawsuits and even compare the meerkat will want ten grand off you for your hernia. That’ll learn you. 

The NHS is such a sacred cow that the only way an alternative could be ever be suggested is if the media spent 20 years convincing the voters that leaving the NHS would be some great act of liberation. Perhaps a referendum is needed…

[Last Cunt Standing]

17 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Any relatively well off people with any sense almost certainly already have private medical insurance.

Having seen the subhuman scum who clog up the wards at the Liverpool chest and heart hospital, almost literally crawling out on their hands and knees for a smoke during the advert breaks in the Jerry Springer show, I'd be tempted to shut down all public health facilities and machine gun the vile cunts just to save time.

Shutting the smoking rooms in hospitals was a short sighted error, Baws. For a start it’s where the junior doctors could go to pretty much guarantee a late night bunk-up with the flirty student nurse. Plus, keeping all those emphysemic twats coughing up lung butter to share with each other was an absolute boon for the mortuary boys. It was sometimes said if you had a tricky case who was no longer responding to IV’s, you could always wheel him in there to watch the snooker with a duty free carton of Gitanes and you’d be filling in your crem form and banking the ash cash the next day. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

The NHS like the the benefits system is out of date and not fit for purpose. A massive money pit, so large in diameter only @Frank's arsehole could compare. Factor in population increase, fat fucking cunts who don't give a shit...because the good old NHS will bail them out, the thick/senile types who waste it's time, pointless managers and the money it wastes and it cannot continue in its current state for much longer. We need a worldwide cull, as we (the true virus on this planet) are draining everything and acting like utter cunts. Roll on WW3 or Covid 24...either is fine. 

[Roadkill]

3 hours ago, ratcum said:

although from a humble background myself Killer, I do feel let down by the working classes.  In WW1 officers were invariably taller than the men they commanded, simply because the latter had experienced malnutrition in their formative years. Fast forward through social reform and full impact of the Labour Government: what do these idiots do? They eat ALL the food and become obese. As for the ones that continue to have massive families; I'd gass their sorry arses to buggery.

It fucking disgusts me to the very core of my being whenever I see a family of fat cunts. A single one is shameful enough, but to have the complete and utter ignorance to pass your own disgusting lifestyle onto your children and then put it on public display is sickening.

And the children really don't know any better now - they aren't made fun of by other kids anymore in school for needing to stop for a break when they're climbing the stairs or for struggling to keep up with everyone else during PE because of all of this trendy body positive shite. And the fat cunt parents aren't going to give a shite because that would mean acknowledging their own shortcomings. Their kids will be completely ignorant of the health problems obesity can cause until one of their parents die an early death and by then the damage will be done and the habit of overeating will be deeply ingrained, probably only getting worse as a coping mechanism.

[Roadkill]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Shutting the smoking rooms in hospitals was a short sighted error, Baws. For a start it’s where the junior doctors could go to pretty much guarantee a late night bunk-up with the flirty student nurse. Plus, keeping all those emphysemic twats coughing up lung butter to share with each other was an absolute boon for the mortuary boys. It was sometimes said if you had a tricky case who was no longer responding to IV’s, you could always wheel him in there to watch the snooker with a duty free carton of Gitanes and you’d be filling in your crem form and banking the ash cash the next day. 

That has to be the most sarcastic form of euthanasia ever. 

[Cuntybaws]

2 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

they aren't made fun of by other kids anymore in school

Remember when the mantra was "sex sells", and they only portrayed beautiful, thin people? Now adverts are stuffed full of black albinos, fat amputees, and Downs Syndrome kids. People who work in marketing are cunts.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

Remember when the mantra was "sex sells", and they only portrayed beautiful, thin people? Now adverts are stuffed full of black albinos, fat amputees, and Downs Syndrome kids. People who work in marketing are cunts.

I think that's the very genesis of the problem. With the dawn of the internet age a lot more of the cunts who actually got bullied and shamed for being disgusting suddenly had a voice and eventually the marketing executives, being the preening, offal scenting fucking vultures that they are, decided to answer.

"You're not disgusting, you're beautiful. Buy this shit."

[Eric Cuntman]

7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Remember when the mantra was "sex sells", and they only portrayed beautiful, thin people? Now adverts are stuffed full of black albinos, fat amputees, and Downs Syndrome kids. People who work in marketing are cunts.

I know that there's not much you can't find in the way of porn, but I think 'fat, one legged, black Down's syndrome albino' might be a search too far.

[Roadkill]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I know that there's not much you can't find in the way of porn, but I think 'fat, one legged, black Down's syndrome albino' might be a search too far.

Clearly you've never heard of Rule 34.

In fact, by even mentioning it, you've triggered Rule 35. So if there isn't porn of it, there eventually will be.

[Cuntybaws]

10 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

I think that's the very genesis of the problem. With the dawn of the internet age a lot more of the cunts who actually got bullied and shamed for being disgusting suddenly had a voice and eventually the marketing executives, being the preening, offal scenting fucking vultures that they are, decided to answer.

"You're not disgusting, you're beautiful. Buy this shit."

The taxi firm that produced this got into trouble, but when Dove put big, fat, sweaty, ugly birds in their "Real Beauty" adverts it's apparently honest and brave.

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

The taxi firm that produced this got into trouble, but when Dove put big, fat, sweaty, ugly birds in their "Real Beauty" adverts it's apparently honest and brave.

Well fatties do use a lot of soap. The worst cunts have to wash multiple times a day because fungus will start to accumulate in their folds - I'm not fucking joking.

Some of these cunts have literally reached a level where, if they miss a shower, they'll turn into a fucking mushroom and die. Brilliant ad by the way.

[Eric Cuntman]

16 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Clearly you've never heard of Rule 34.

In fact, by even mentioning it, you've triggered Rule 35. So if there isn't porn of it, there eventually will be.

Clearly you don't remember Bawsy explaining rule 34 to everyone 3 years ago. I was pointing out an exception to it. I'm just waiting for someone to search for it and report back. I'm not having that in my search history.

[Cuntybaws]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

fungus will start to accumulate in their folds

Have you read "The Girl With All The Gifts"? Or played "The Last Of Us"? Cordyceps is a cunt.

[Roadkill]

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Clearly you don't remember Bawsy explaining rule 34 to everyone 3 years ago. I was pointing out an exception to it. I'm just waiting for someone to search for it and report back. I'm not having that in my search history.

Maybe we should set up an anonymous search engine for this sort of thing - AskNeil.com.

[Roadkill]

20 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Have you read "The Girl With All The Gifts"? Or played "The Last Of Us"? Cordyceps is a cunt.

I'm aware of The Last of Us, but I've never played it. Seems a bit of a silly concept - just fill a fire engine up with anti-fungal cream and fuck them all off back to the damp corners of sheds and bathrooms. Or fat rolls.

[ratcum]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

It fucking disgusts me to the very core of my being whenever I see a family of fat cunts. A single one is shameful enough, but to have the complete and utter ignorance to pass your own disgusting lifestyle onto your children and then put it on public display is sickening.

And the children really don't know any better now - they aren't made fun of by other kids anymore in school for needing to stop for a break when they're climbing the stairs or for struggling to keep up with everyone else during PE because of all of this trendy body positive shite. And the fat cunt parents aren't going to give a shite because that would mean acknowledging their own shortcomings. Their kids will be completely ignorant of the health problems obesity can cause until one of their parents die an early death and by then the damage will be done and the habit of overeating will be deeply ingrained, probably only getting worse as a coping mechanism.

so I'm right then, with the gassing?

[Roadkill]

10 minutes ago, ratcum said:

so I'm right then, with the gassing?

Yes. It would be a mercy, really.

And we can render them down into oil afterwards. Everybody wins.

[Penny Farthing]

7 hours ago, ratcum said:

Did you ever get the go ahead for that massage parlour in Chirk?

It was in Oswestry, the Welsh are such prudes.

[Decimus]

5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Well, clearly Decs I could go on all bloody day about this, but I’ll limit myself to just three easy suggestions to start…

1. Prescription reform: 90% of dispensed items attract no fee, and it costs about £9bn a year. Every item should cost a fiver for everyone, perhaps exempting kids under 5. No more will you open a pensioner’s cupboard to meet a cascade of unopened Movicol, Crestor and Apixaban. I’d perhaps allow group discounts, or expand the prepayment card, but where there is no cost, there is no perception of value. The perversity of fat diabetics celebrating when they move onto medications and get “everything free” would end. As would free contraception. If Tracey can afford sixteen Bacardi Breezers, she can afford her Microgynon. Coeliac Disease, is it? And you want NHS bread, cake and pizza bases for free? Fuck off. 

2. Expand payment by activity. If a surgeon can do twelve cataracts in a morning, he should be making 50% than the girl doing eight. As it is they are paid the same for an unspecified block of work. Plus given NHS waiting lists are the best recruitment BUPA can hope for, there’s no incentive for NHS Consultants with private sidelines to work faster, other than appeasing their boss. If the tariff per operation was paid to the surgeon, not the hospital, you watch those waiting times fall. Theatre staff spend far too much time on their arses drinking tea like council roadworks crews.

3. Litigation. If you wish to use NHS services, you either waive your right to sue altogether, or you pay an insurance premium based on the possibility of something going majorly wrong during your treatment. The onus would then be on you fighting your insurer if you aren’t happy with the angle of your mastectomy scar or think the cardiologist could have done more to save your 98 year old grandmother who’s heart is so knackered she can’t lie flat in bed. A couple of vexatious lawsuits and even compare the meerkat will want ten grand off you for your hernia. That’ll learn you. 

The NHS is such a sacred cow that the only way an alternative could be ever be suggested is if the media spent 20 years convincing the voters that leaving the NHS would be some great act of liberation. Perhaps a referendum is needed…

Spot on. I'd also suggest that any future secretary of state for health is a qualified medical professional with a history of working within the NHS.

To be fair, occupational experience should be a prerequisite for most senior government ministries. You wouldn't let some completely inexperienced individual be in charge of a major private company with a multi-billion pound budget.