The State of The NHS

[Eric Cuntman]

11 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Spot on. I'd also suggest that any future secretary of state for health is a qualified medical professional with a history of working within the NHS.

To be fair, occupational experience should be a prerequisite for most senior government ministries. You wouldn't let some completely inexperienced individual be in charge of a major private company with a multi-billion pound budget.

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

[Decimus]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

Give me the Jews and we've got a deal.

[Wolfie]

43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

You could call your public office the 'Black & Tans'.

[nocti]

52 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

34 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Give me the Jews and we've got a deal.

This is the harsh-but-fair middle ground that politics has been crying out for.

[Cunty BigBollox]

13 minutes ago, nocti said:

This is the harsh-but-fair middle ground that politics has been crying out for.

The only way you'll get them would be if you voted Farage in.

[Penny Farthing]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Give me the Jews and we've got a deal.

jaws

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Give me the Jews and we've got a deal.

They will not be blamed for nothing.

[King Billy]

18 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Up here its not uncommon to see cunts ordering takeaway directly to the A&E. The poor cunts on the staff had to put up a sign banning the delivery drivers from entering the waiting room, so a lot of the fat cunts make sure to bring a family member or friend along specifically to wait outside and collect their next dose of cholesterol.

Of course the pizza and kebab boxes are quickly hidden away the moment their name is called and they're suddenly at death's door again, and they're always too unwell to clean the resulting litter up before they leave.

I dread to think what my next visit to A and E will be like, as it’s been getting progressively worse the last 5 or 6 times I’ve had to use it since Christmas. If I didn’t keep getting that saucepan stuck on my head I honestly wouldn’t give a fuck how shit the NHS has become for every other cunt.

[King Billy]

6 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

. We need a worldwide cull,

Evening Bill. How’s it going these days? I guess it’s a bit quiet without Melinda to wipe your arse, and Jeffrey E to fist it?

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

Wanna buy a whip?

[Last Cunt Standing]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Spot on. I'd also suggest that any future secretary of state for health is a qualified medical professional with a history of working within the NHS.

The only problem with that is that most doctors who enter politics are idiots and/or pricks. Take Dr Dan Poulter. You’d think working with cunts all day he’d be able to spot one by now. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

On 20/03/2022 at 05:51, Eric Cuntman said:

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

I think you’d make a great Chairman of the General Medical Council, Eric. It’s just like door supervising with a few long words thrown in. Perhaps you could introduce a few quirky tests of competence. Disassemble a uterus against the clock while blindfolded, Full Metal Jacket style, for starters. 

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I hunk you’d make a great Chairman of the General Medical Council, Eric. It’s just like door supervising with a few long words thrown in. Perhaps you could introduce a few quirky tests of competence. Disassemble a uterus against the clock while blindfolded, Full Metal Jacket style, for starters. 

I will name my uterus 'Charlene'

[Last Cunt Standing]

Oh, and another thing I’d ban is disgruntled doctors monetising all the grim stories they have heard over the years when they leave the NHS. It breaks the medical omertà when you see recognisable shit you’d long forgotten played out on the telly in your retirement. Adam Kay, for example, was once funny as fuck as part of The Amateur Transplants, essentially Mess Room humour written down. But This is Going to Hurt entered the mainstream and is thus beyond the pale. The sneaking suspicion that the fat old queen spent the massive royalties from his tales of dead babies on poppers and KY also makes me a bit queasy. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I will name my uterus 'Charlene'

This is your rifle, this is your gun…..

[King Billy]

6 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I know that there's not much you can't find in the way of porn, but I think 'fat, one legged, black Down's syndrome albino' might be a search too far.

Forget the internet Eric. I’ve got two of these working tonight, (twins actually). They can be at your door in 45 mins. You’ll have to book them both though as they share the same head.

[Decimus]

6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Oh, and another thing I’d ban is disgruntled doctors monetising all the grim stories they have heard over the years when they leave the NHS. It breaks the medical omertà when you see recognisable shit you’d long forgotten played out on the telly in your retirement. Adam Kay, for example, was once funny as fuck as part of The Amateur Transplants, essentially Mess Room humour written down. But This is Going to Hurt entered the mainstream and is thus beyond the pale. The sneaking suspicion that the fat old queen spent the massive royalties from his tales of dead babies on poppers and KY also make me a bit queasy. 

I'm on record as stating that my experience with the NHS in general has been at best incompetent, and at worst downright criminal.

Saying that, my own GP is absolutely amazing and I couldn't fault him. He's clearly under enormous pressure at the moment but was  incredibly supportive earlier this year when I needed him most.

I wish there were more like him out there, and maybe there is, but positive stories don't make headlines I suppose.

 

[Eric Cuntman]

16 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

This is your rifle, this is your gun…..

THIS IS MY UTERUS. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.

[Last Cunt Standing]

5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Saying that, my own GP is absolutely amazing and I couldn't fault him. He's clearly under enormous pressure at the moment but was  incredibly supportive earlier this year when I needed him most.

I’m glad you were treated well. I hope you took five minutes to say thanks. Those still in the trenches of UK general practice deserve your support, and believe me, a few words in a card is so much more powerful than all the Christmas bottles of supermarket plonk combined. 

[Eric Cuntman]

23 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’m glad you were treated well. I hope you took five minutes to say thanks. Those still in the trenches of UK general practice deserve your support, and believe me, a few words in a card is so much more powerful than all the Christmas bottles of supermarket plonk combined. 

Never met a ward nurse that didn't despise Quality Street.

[Last Cunt Standing]

The NHS turns 75 today. Happy Birthday old girl. You once were beautiful. Now you’re knackered, gasping for breath, and unlikely to make 80. The public mostly don’t give a shit. It’ll take a sprinkling of medical bankruptcies to change hearts and minds, and even then they’ll be too stupid to realise they've been tucked up by capitalist scumbags and the Daily Mail. 

I’ll raise a glass of Chablis in the general direction of Nye Bevan later. I’m a bit nauseous right now having just seen that oily bastard Barclay get defenestrated by Beth Rigby. In any normal country there wouldn’t be a free lamppost for miles. 

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

The NHS turns 75 today. Happy Birthday old girl. You once were beautiful. Now you’re knackered, gasping for breath, and unlikely to make 80. The public mostly don’t give a shit. It’ll take a sprinkling of medical bankruptcies to change hearts and minds, and even then they’ll be too stupid to realise they've been tucked up by capitalist scumbags and the Daily Mail. 

I’ll raise a glass of Chablis in the general direction of Nye Bevan later. I’m a bit nauseous right now having just seen that oily bastard Barclay get defenestrated by Beth Rigby. In any normal country there wouldn’t be a free lamppost for miles. 

Nil desperundum LCS, yet another boatload of Drs and nurses have washed up on our shores as we speak. The NHS will be saved. Oh yes; it will be saved. 

[King Billy]

7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Nil desperundum LCS, yet another boatload of Drs and nurses have washed up on our shores as we speak. The NHS will be saved. Oh yes; it will be saved. 

According to my calculations 2576 new hospitals have opened in England in the past 3 years alone, fully staffed by the finest doctors and male nurses ever to have risked their lives crammed into inflatable dinghys sailing across the English Chanell, most of them holding only the I phone 14 and  wearing the Armani suit they’ve walked across Europe in, leaving their brave wives and kids to fight the terrible wars in their homeland. It’s about time our government woke up, stopped wasting their own  time and our money trying to stop all this carry on and focused their attention on why 2576 hotels in England are currently not taking bookings and closed for business for the foreseeable future?