The mysterious disappearance of Kate Middleton

[Last Cunt Standing]

Right, enough with the bullshit. Where is she and what’s the real fucking story? I’ve admittedly fallen down a bit of a rabbit hole on this one, lying here in the hammock with too much sun and red wine, but I’m not buying the official bollocks much longer. Six weeks since we’ve seen Her Royal Waifness. Not so much as a wave in dark glasses from a car or bedroom window. Now Wills turns up to an investiture swaying about looking ghastly and suddenly there’s a strong whiff of bullshit in the air.

Bits of another story all over the internet. A mysterious police convoy into the London Clinic on 28th December. Spanish papers printing rumours of an induced coma. Suggestions - or wild speculation - that she’s done a version of the Diana stair dive, gone nuts after stumbling across Willie’s private toybox, or needed something a lot more involved than a laparoscopic hysterectomy, which is about as demanding on a fit forty year old as a dozen sit ups after a kebab. The King shoves out a Cancer story to cover a bigger one? Harry gets dragged back to sign a NDA or some other legal instrument before a coming big reveal? Who can say? Take the Queen as an example of serfs being lied to; I think safe to say she died “under medical supervision” a while before the rest of us knew, and the big show of the rushed family gathering at Balmers was utter bollocks. 

Then to cap it all, if you were a rich high profile young man who wanted rid of your problem wife, who would you call? Maybe a famous Scientologist with a direct line to David Miscavige? 

It all fails the sniff test for me. Just saying. @King Billy, you’re usually up to speed with this stuff. What’s the deal with these Cunts?

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Right, enough with the bullshit. Where is she and what’s the real fucking story? I’ve admittedly fallen down a bit of a rabbit hole on this one, lying here in the hammock with too much sun and red wine, but I’m not buying the official bollocks much longer. Six weeks since we’ve seen Her Royal Waifness. Not so much as a wave in dark glasses from a car or bedroom window. Now Wills turns up to an investiture swaying about looking ghastly and suddenly there’s a strong whiff of bullshit in the air.

Bits of another story all over the internet. A mysterious police convoy into the London Clinic on 28th December. Spanish papers printing rumours of an induced coma. Suggestions - or wild speculation - that she’s done a version of the Diana stair dive, gone nuts after stumbling across Willie’s private toybox, or needed something a lot more involved than a laparoscopic hysterectomy, which is about as demanding on a fit forty year old as a dozen sit ups after a kebab. The King shoves out a Cancer story to cover a bigger one? Harry gets dragged back to sign a NDA or some other legal instrument before a coming big reveal? Who can say? Take the Queen as an example of serfs being lied to; I think safe to say she died “under medical supervision” a while before the rest of us knew, and the big show of the rushed family gathering at Balmers was utter bollocks. 

Then to cap it all, if you were a rich high profile young man who wanted rid of your problem wife, who would you call? Maybe a famous Scientologist with a direct line to David Miscavige? 

It all fails the sniff test for me. Just saying. @King Billy, you’re usually up to speed with this stuff. What’s the deal with these Cunts?

In support of your royal ravngs I would say even the silver tongued Solero Smoothie seasoned royal commentators/pundits (whatever) seem flummoxed. There's clearly a major health scare around a seemingly healthy young woman in this situation and the convalescence until after Easter is just a press release. As for Charles you can bet your life it's something so fucking minor that you and I would never get this level of attention [PREVENTION] off our health service. 

Not long ago all the talk and wishful thinking was about Preventative Health Servces being the future which ignored a few basic facts of British life:

1#.   Nothing is done in the NHS which isn't a money savng exercise, and good preventative health care involves screening and early treatment which costs a lot. The NHS only functions by catching disease late and waiting for people to die. 

2#.    Good preventative health care requires investment in training and new facilities and equipment, not a tackng onto existing over-stretched resources a few extra services. This country does not spend enough on the NHS to provide this. No money. 

However, given the huge equality gap between those that can afford first class preventative health care and the majority of us reliant on the NHS this seems to be a very good xample of why the monarchy should be abolished as they stand for inewuality, symbolise it, honour it and protect it. 

Fucking get rid of them. They are Murdochs, Sunaks, Bezos, the Bransons, like all the other super rich cunts not paying their fair share in and taking the maximum out. 

 

[ChildeHarold]

2 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Right, enough with the bullshit. Where is she and what’s the real fucking story? I’ve admittedly fallen down a bit of a rabbit hole on this one, lying here in the hammock with too much sun and red wine, but I’m not buying the official bollocks much longer. Six weeks since we’ve seen Her Royal Waifness. Not so much as a wave in dark glasses from a car or bedroom window. Now Wills turns up to an investiture swaying about looking ghastly and suddenly there’s a strong whiff of bullshit in the air.

Bits of another story all over the internet. A mysterious police convoy into the London Clinic on 28th December. Spanish papers printing rumours of an induced coma. Suggestions - or wild speculation - that she’s done a version of the Diana stair dive, gone nuts after stumbling across Willie’s private toybox, or needed something a lot more involved than a laparoscopic hysterectomy, which is about as demanding on a fit forty year old as a dozen sit ups after a kebab. The King shoves out a Cancer story to cover a bigger one? Harry gets dragged back to sign a NDA or some other legal instrument before a coming big reveal? Who can say? Take the Queen as an example of serfs being lied to; I think safe to say she died “under medical supervision” a while before the rest of us knew, and the big show of the rushed family gathering at Balmers was utter bollocks. 

Then to cap it all, if you were a rich high profile young man who wanted rid of your problem wife, who would you call? Maybe a famous Scientologist with a direct line to David Miscavige? 

It all fails the sniff test for me. Just saying. @King Billy, you’re usually up to speed with this stuff. What’s the deal with these Cunts?

He's not really a King. Billy just thinks he is. But he does have the Madness of King George over vaccines. 

[entitled little cunt]

The walking womb has probably been puking her ring up after every royal banquet .There's no way any reasonable person could remain even remotely sane having to live with that bunch of  immoral disgusting   fuckwits.The women eventually go off the rails .Marry into that family and it  will bring, despair and  death  but you'll get a nice  diamond tiara and old women will applaud because you spelt your name correctly .

[Eric Cuntman]

Neil’s got her.

[King Billy]

On 08/02/2024 at 15:35, Last Cunt Standing said:

It all fails the sniff test for me. Just saying. @King Billy, you’re usually up to speed with this stuff. What’s the deal with these Cunts?

Good to have you aboard finally Doc. I’ll let you know all the facts as soon as my ‘Royal lizard investigator’ reports back to me. 

[King Billy]

On 08/02/2024 at 15:35, Last Cunt Standing said:

Then to cap it all, if you were a rich high profile young man who wanted rid of your problem wife, who would you call?

Hillary Clinton or basically anyone with her phone number who could introduce you to her, or give her the briefcase full of cash and the targets details.

[entitled little cunt]

10 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Hillary Clinton or basically anyone with her phone number who could introduce you to her, or give her the briefcase full of cash and the targets details.

I bet she's out in Dagenham , pissed out of her head , smoking a fag , staggering with one shoe minus a heel , crying with running mascara and saying "my 'usband  right , I luv I'm right , but fuck me is family are a fuckin' bunch of retarded  cunts, they dont leave ya alone like , fuckin open that mentall elf place then down the road to shake 'ands with some Windrush cunt , I dont get a chance t' scratch me fanny , I really fuckin dont "

[King Billy]

3 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

I bet she's out in Dagenham , pissed out of her head , smoking a fag , staggering with one shoe minus a heel , crying with running mascara and saying "my 'usband  right , I luv I'm right , but fuck me is family are a fuckin' bunch of retarded  cunts, they dont leave ya alone like , fuckin open that mentall elf place then down the road to shake 'ands with some Windrush cunt , I dont get a chance t' scratch me fanny , I really fuckin dont "

Excellent post and I’m honestly and genuinely not trying to pick hairs here, but I’ve read it twice and I’m hearing Harold’s Hill rather than Dagenham every time. It might be the ear wax tbf.

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Neil’s got her.

To be fair she’d make a good scaffolding pole, and would take up next to no room in the Bedford Rascal. 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

To be fair she’d make a good scaffolding pole, and would take up next to no room in the Bedford Rascal. 

Although being posh, she would pronounce it ‘Wascal’. Or ‘wape wagon’.

[entitled little cunt]

6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

To be fair she’d make a good scaffolding pole, and would take up next to no room in the Bedford Rascal. 

Has it got a sliding side door ? If so  cadaver dogs would go mad for the interior scent and that stuff they spray on to detect jizz would light it up like Blackpool illuminations. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Although being posh, she would pronounce it ‘Wascal’. Or ‘wape wagon’.

He’s no fool either, I’m sure he’d trick her by holding the door open and doffing his hard hat at her Ma’am-ness. Then it’s time for some abdominal surgery. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Neil’s got her.

@Neil confirm or deny, Neil?

[King Billy]

5 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

@Neil confirm or deny, Neil?

Neil’s got a lot of problems currently Doc so give him a break. I’ve heard on the grapevine that he can’t buy a bag of builders lime for love nor money without photo ID and two utility bills, since that alkaline attacker cunt incident in London last week. Wickes’ website have even put up a statement that all their East Anglia stores will not serve anyone who turns up in a small commercial vehicle with no number plates.

’When there’s no more lime at Wickes, the dead will walk the Earth’ 

George A Romero. 1982.

[King Billy]

39 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Although being posh, she would pronounce it ‘Wascal’. Or ‘wape wagon’.

‘Don’t worry Princess, jump in. Neil won’t hurt you.’

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Neil’s got a lot of problems currently Doc so give him a break. I’ve heard on the grapevine that he can’t buy a bag of builders lime for love nor money without photo ID and two utility bills, since that alkaline attacker cunt incident in London last week. Wickes’ website have even put up a statement that all their East Anglia stores will not serve anyone who turns up in a small commercial vehicle with no number plates.

’When there’s no more lime at Wickes, the dead will walk the Earth’ 

George A Romero. 1982.

Off topic Bill, but I wonder what your view is on the Irish Women’s basketball team refusing to shake hands with the Israelis, who promptly handed their arses to them, citing loyalty with their Palestinian brothers and sisters. 

My reaction was one of shock. There’s an Irish Women’s basketball team now?

[King Billy]

18 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Off topic Bill, but I wonder what your view is on the Irish Women’s basketball team refusing to shake hands with the Israelis, who promptly handed their arses to them, citing loyalty with their Palestinian brothers and sisters. 

My reaction was one of shock. There’s an Irish Women’s basketball team now?

The Carlow Bogtrotters.

[King Billy]

18 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Off topic Bill, but I wonder what your view is on the Irish Women’s basketball team refusing to shake hands with the Israelis,

The Israeli girls have had a lucky escape imo, considering the fucking size of the Irish girls massive navvy hands.

[entitled little cunt]

2 hours ago, King Billy said:

The Israeli girls have had a lucky escape imo, considering the fucking size of the Irish girls massive navvy hands.

Women's basket ball teams are now probably blokes in short skirts with some hairy old parsnip dangling around the thighs .There was a time when cheerleaders and the like  were delectable feminine throwbacks to traditional gender roles. Not now .

[Dyslexic cnut]

On 10/02/2024 at 00:39, Last Cunt Standing said:

Off topic Bill, but I wonder what your view is on the Irish Women’s basketball team refusing to shake hands with the Israelis, who promptly handed their arses to them, citing loyalty with their Palestinian brothers and sisters. 

My reaction was one of shock. There’s an Irish Women’s basketball team now?

They’re unbeatable when they play with King Edwards.

[and]

21 hours ago, King Billy said:

The Israeli girls have had a lucky escape imo, considering the fucking size of the Irish girls massive navvy hands.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to get your bean flicked and fisted by those fuckin' slappers. 🖐️👊

[Guest Basil]

On 09/02/2024 at 20:38, King Billy said:

Good to have you aboard finally Doc. I’ll let you know all the facts as soon as my ‘Royal lizard investigator’ reports back to me. 

Nicolas Witchell. What a ghastly man.

Ginger too.

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Basil Brush said:

Nicolas Witchell. What a ghastly man.

Ginger too.

In days gone by we had the weekday BBC news blabbering away on our kitchen TV almost every night (only four channels in those days), much of it etching memories of suffering this scour-faced, dramatic little ginger cunt read headlines as though everyone's lives were imminently in serious danger. And fancy making a 'second' career stalking the Royals while spunking BBC licence funding. What a miserable little toad's toad, with a face like a slapped, freckled arse. When I am leader of The Free World, he will be arrested immediately and put in line for my special 'The Wicker Man' ginger solution program.

[camberwell gypsy]

32 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

In days gone by, we used to have the weekday BBC news blabbering away on our kitchen TV almost every night (only four channels in those days), much of it etching memories of suffering this scour-faced, dramatic little ginger cunt read headlines as though everyone's lives were imminently in serious danger. And fancy making a 'second' career stalking the Royals while spunking BBC licence funding. What a miserable little toad's toad, with a face like a slapped, freckled arse. When I am leader of The Free World, he will be arrested immediately and put in line for my special 'The Wicker Man' ginger solution program.

Used to be Alistair Burnett. Spitting Image used to mercilessly take the piss out of him, depicting him sliming up to the Queen.