The mysterious disappearance of Kate Middleton

[King Billy]

19 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I thought we were on this journey together. Next stop Location, Location, Location with Phil and Kirstie. I want a chocolate box Cotswald cottage with space to keep a couple of Shire Horses. You can fuck off after a few months with the vicar. Cunt. You not Vic. 

 

Thank you for making me realise that I’m not the most fucked up hombre on here.

[Eric Cuntman]

24 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I thought we were on this journey together. Next stop Location, Location, Location with Phil and Kirstie. I want a chocolate box Cotswald cottage with space to keep a couple of Shire Horses. You can fuck off after a few months with the vicar. Cunt. You not Vic. 

 

Put down the Ritalin and step away from the keyboard.

[ClitWestwood]

20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fucking hell. I thought you were dead again. 

 

 

[ChildeHarold]

39 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Put down the Ritalin and step away from the keyboard.

Sounds like a variation of This is a hold up. (Your money or your life) 

[ChildeHarold]

45 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Thank you for making me realise that I’m not the most fucked up hombre on here.

Your Paul Newman fantasy deepens. His sauce still makes money. My sauce is is is is...... 

 

 

[King Billy]

18 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Sounds like a variation of This is a hold up. (Your money or your life) 

‘Will you marry me? I’ve got a gun in my pocket if the answer’s  no.’

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

57 minutes ago, ClitWestwood said:

 

 

Reported.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

2 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

a teaspoon of dog shit would work just force it down 👇 

Have you been having afternoon tea with @and recently, Harold? Fuck off. 

[ChildeHarold]

24 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Have you been having afternoon tea with @and recently, Harold? Fuck off. 

And sweet dreams to you as well. Anyway it's good to see you back in fighting form. Short and sweet is your style. 

[ChildeHarold]

33 minutes ago, King Billy said:

‘Will you marry me? I’ve got a gun in my pocket if the answer’s  no.’

No

[King Billy]

5 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

No

Yes 

[Mrs Roops]

22 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Jesus Christ woman. Literally no point arguing with you. 

Can I ask what you do when you inadvertently drive into a cul de sac? Acknowledge your error and reverse, or loudly proclaim it’s the road that’s wrong and floor it through the nearest garden fence? 

So, what have you got to back up your claims thus far? Precisely nothing. The Kate photogate issue has become a big fat red herring. From starting off as a competent wordsmith to rival Decs you've become irrelevant. Nice try with the bogus analogy BTW...

[Eric Cuntman]

6 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Nice try with the bogus analogy BTW...

You spelled ‘brilliant’ wrong.

 

[and]

14 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Reported.

Well, well, would you look at that, another one of those fantasy fuckin' Air Miles cunts has returned from nowhere in particular, won't be long now until that narcissistic cunt @Decimus shows his nappy-wetting, cunt-lick, face again.

[Roadkill]

34 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

So, what have you got to back up your claims thus far? Precisely nothing. The Kate photogate issue has become a big fat red herring. From starting off as a competent wordsmith to rival Decs you've become irrelevant. Nice try with the bogus analogy BTW...

My main question is who gives a fuck about the entire thing, and why?

Some rich bint photoshopped a photo of her family. Why the fuck is this news?

Lizzie was around for fucking ages - a face the entire world knew on sight - love or hate her, you knew who she was and had some vague interest in why she was doing what because she was always fucking there.

The rest of these Royal cunts, I couldn't give less of a shit about. I don't care what they're doing or what diseases they have, they can live or die or jump off a cliff and I simply do not care.

What I do fucking care about is every fucking petty family drama, every fucking sickness and perceived conspiracy, every fucking appearance in public of these boring fucking twat baskets automatically certifies as breaking fucking news - weeks of stories and opinions around the most mundane fucking shite floods the already shite news media.

As far as I can tell their entire foundation and relevance is built upon giving little old ladies in cafes something to chat about over their morning tea - but only after they've discussed the more important issues of the day such as the price of milk and the bingo last night.

I don't give a fuck about milk or the bingo, but at least milk and the bingo isn't plastered across the news every fucking time some crusty old bint wins a cruise to Aruba or has to walk down the street for a cheaper pint of fucking Cravendale.

 

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

So, what have you got to back up your claims thus far? Precisely nothing. The Kate photogate issue has become a big fat red herring. From starting off as a competent wordsmith to rival Decs you've become irrelevant. Nice try with the bogus analogy BTW...

Pipe down love, for Christ’s sake. I’m sure we’re all a bit tired of the Violet Elizabeth Bott routine by now. Scweam and scweam all you want, fact is you tried to minimise the story of the dubious picture right before it blew up and became lead news all over the world. Wiser, humbler heads might have taken heed and slipped back into the shadows, but oh no, not our intrepid Matriarch, who when she isn’t issuing corporate spankings in Boardrooms the world over is thumbing through her Rolodex and calling up the OECD to correct the footnotes in their latest press release. It’s a mark of true idiocy to be incapable of acknowledging error, your Worship. You know this, I suspect. 

As for backing up my claims, I don’t think I’ve made any, other than stating Kate has been on protracted leave from public life with the thinnest of cover stories and that there’s an increasing whiff of bullshit about the situation, coupled with a PR output that would embarrass a Home Counties Parish circular. William is oddly absent too, just as a certain Marchioness appears to be getting a run of puff-pieces in the press. Join the fucking dots yourself. Or take the red herring, fingers-in-the-ears, everything is fine view on it all. I don’t much give a fuck either way. I’m not @King Billy, I won’t entertain an endless dialogue of the deaf with a woman so utterly convinced of her monopoly on facts.

Naturally I’m crushed by your uninvited assessment of my competence with the language, and I’ll try not to spend the next few hours lying awake wondering how I can improve my standing with a woman so formidable in intellect that she’d happily share her Boudoir happy snaps with all and sundry. If ever an image needed a Kill notice, it was that velvet-clad monstrosity. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

20 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

My main question is who gives a fuck about the entire thing, and why?

Some rich bint photoshopped a photo of her family. Why the fuck is this news?

Lizzie was around for fucking ages - a face the entire world knew on sight - love or hate her, you knew who she was and had some vague interest in why she was doing what because she was always fucking there.

The rest of these Royal cunts, I couldn't give less of a shit about. I don't care what they're doing or what diseases they have, they can live or die or jump off a cliff and I simply do not care.

Let you into a secret Killer, no one cares that much. Including me. If William is really getting pegged on the regular by some younger version of Princess Anne, then I’d say that’s pretty much what I’d expect for some Old Etonian wanker with more hang ups than directory enquires. My only interest here is the slight amusement I extract from watching the public slowly cotton on to the fact they are being taken for fools by people who are quite happily collecting the Civil list by the wheelbarrow load, while at the same time laughing from the back seat of the Bentley at the oiks linining up in the rain to watch them cut the ribbon on their dreadful new community centre. 

They’re laughing at you. 

[Mrs Roops]

25 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Pipe down love, for Christ’s sake. I’m sure we’re all a bit tired of the Violet Elizabeth Bott routine by now. Scweam and scweam all you want, fact is you tried to minimise the story of the dubious picture right before it blew up and became lead news all over the world. Wiser, humbler heads might have taken heed and slipped back into the shadows, but oh no, not our intrepid Matriarch, who when she isn’t issuing corporate spankings in Boardrooms the world over is thumbing through her Rolodex and calling up the OECD to correct the footnotes in their latest press release. It’s a mark of true idiocy to be incapable of acknowledging error, your Worship. You know this, I suspect. 

As for backing up my claims, I don’t think I’ve made any, other than stating Kate has been on protracted leave from public life with the thinnest of cover stories and that there’s an increasing whiff of bullshit about the situation, coupled with a PR output that would embarrass a Home Counties Parish circular. William is oddly absent too, just as a certain Marchioness appears to be getting a run of puff-pieces in the press. Join the fucking dots yourself. Or take the red herring, fingers-in-the-ears, everything is fine view on it all. I don’t much give a fuck either way. I’m not @King Billy, I won’t entertain an endless dialogue of the deaf with a woman so utterly convinced of her monopoly on facts.

Naturally I’m crushed by your uninvited assessment of my competence with the language, and I’ll try not to spend the next few hours lying awake wondering how I can improve my standing with a woman so formidable in intellect that she’d happily share her Boudoir happy snaps with all and sundry. If ever an image needed a Kill notice, it was that velvet-clad monstrosity. 

Setting aside your usual reliance to fall back on condescending misogyny when under pressure, that's a lorra words for "I got nothing". Seriously "doc", you've gone full-blown Billy.

Stay warm.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

My main question is who gives a fuck about the entire thing, and why?

Some rich bint photoshopped a photo of her family. Why the fuck is this news?

Lizzie was around for fucking ages - a face the entire world knew on sight - love or hate her, you knew who she was and had some vague interest in why she was doing what because she was always fucking there.

The rest of these Royal cunts, I couldn't give less of a shit about. I don't care what they're doing or what diseases they have, they can live or die or jump off a cliff and I simply do not care.

What I do fucking care about is every fucking petty family drama, every fucking sickness and perceived conspiracy, every fucking appearance in public of these boring fucking twat baskets automatically certifies as breaking fucking news - weeks of stories and opinions around the most mundane fucking shite floods the already shite news media.

As far as I can tell their entire foundation and relevance is built upon giving little old ladies in cafes something to chat about over their morning tea - but only after they've discussed the more important issues of the day such as the price of milk and the bingo last night.

I don't give a fuck about milk or the bingo, but at least milk and the bingo isn't plastered across the news every fucking time some crusty old bint wins a cruise to Aruba or has to walk down the street for a cheaper pint of fucking Cravendale.

 

I get the impression you don't give a fuck about the Royals, RK. I'm a Royalist to be honest but since dear Elizabeth passed away, I'm becoming less tolerant of them. Would you have given (done your duty as a subject, perhaps) dear old Elizabeth II a lift to the Bingo and got her a pint of milk on the way home? were she not dead of course. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Stay warm.

Good evening, Mrs Roops. 

Can you please explain this 'stay warm' sign off to me? You were using it a lot with @King Billy and have now extended it to @Last Cunt Standing. It's been a bit cold of late so I'm thinking you're making fun of them not being able to afford heating? Or does it have some other (super intelligent) meaning that's even more shit than my suggestion of your shit sign off. 

Stay cold (as ice). 

Raas. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

3 hours ago, and said:

Well, well, would you look at that, another one of those fantasy fuckin' Air Miles cunts has returned from nowhere in particular, won't be long now until that narcissistic cunt @Decimus shows his nappy-wetting, cunt-lick, face again.

Still @ing people with every post, eh. Fuck off, you useless piece of shit. 

[ChildeHarold]

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

My main question is who gives a fuck about the entire thing, and why?

Some rich bint photoshopped a photo of her family. Why the fuck is this news?

Lizzie was around for fucking ages - a face the entire world knew on sight - love or hate her, you knew who she was and had some vague interest in why she was doing what because she was always fucking there.

The rest of these Royal cunts, I couldn't give less of a shit about. I don't care what they're doing or what diseases they have, they can live or die or jump off a cliff and I simply do not care.

What I do fucking care about is every fucking petty family drama, every fucking sickness and perceived conspiracy, every fucking appearance in public of these boring fucking twat baskets automatically certifies as breaking fucking news - weeks of stories and opinions around the most mundane fucking shite floods the already shite news media.

As far as I can tell their entire foundation and relevance is built upon giving little old ladies in cafes something to chat about over their morning tea - but only after they've discussed the more important issues of the day such as the price of milk and the bingo last night.

I don't give a fuck about milk or the bingo, but at least milk and the bingo isn't plastered across the news every fucking time some crusty old bint wins a cruise to Aruba or has to walk down the street for a cheaper pint of fucking Cravendale.

 

The Diana effect. 

[and]

42 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Still @ing people with every post, eh. Fuck off, you useless piece of shit. 

Oh look, you got a like from your mentor 🐩

You know he's been very quiet of late, he must be well happy, now he's got someone to hold his hand again.

[Roadkill]

55 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I get the impression you don't give a fuck about the Royals, RK. I'm a Royalist to be honest but since dear Elizabeth passed away, I'm becoming less tolerant of them. Would you have given (done your duty as a subject, perhaps) dear old Elizabeth II a lift to the Bingo and got her a pint of milk on the way home? were she not dead of course. 

Only if she paid me.

[King Billy]

5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Pipe down love, for Christ’s sake. I’m sure we’re all a bit tired of the Violet Elizabeth Bott routine by now. Scweam and scweam all you want, fact is you tried to minimise the story of the dubious picture right before it blew up and became lead news all over the world. Wiser, humbler heads might have taken heed and slipped back into the shadows, but oh no, not our intrepid Matriarch, who when she isn’t issuing corporate spankings in Boardrooms the world over is thumbing through her Rolodex and calling up the OECD to correct the footnotes in their latest press release. It’s a mark of true idiocy to be incapable of acknowledging error, your Worship. You know this, I suspect. 

As for backing up my claims, I don’t think I’ve made any, other than stating Kate has been on protracted leave from public life with the thinnest of cover stories and that there’s an increasing whiff of bullshit about the situation, coupled with a PR output that would embarrass a Home Counties Parish circular. William is oddly absent too, just as a certain Marchioness appears to be getting a run of puff-pieces in the press. Join the fucking dots yourself. Or take the red herring, fingers-in-the-ears, everything is fine view on it all. I don’t much give a fuck either way. I’m not @King Billy, I won’t entertain an endless dialogue of the deaf with a woman so utterly convinced of her monopoly on facts.

Naturally I’m crushed by your uninvited assessment of my competence with the language, and I’ll try not to spend the next few hours lying awake wondering how I can improve my standing with a woman so formidable in intellect that she’d happily share her Boudoir happy snaps with all and sundry. If ever an image needed a Kill notice, it was that velvet-clad monstrosity. 

I just want you to know Doc that I was three quarters the way into one of my greatest power wanks ever reading this, and then you had to go and fucking spoil it, just when I was feeling the first tingles of what I was starting to believe would be a truly unforgettable tsunami level vinegar stroke. Taking such a cheap shot at me and all the hard graft I’ve put into calling out the insufferable cunt for as long as I can remember killed the moment instantly for me.
As you must know I’m not one to take things too personally (or perish the thought) bear grudges, but rest assured that I’ll never forgive or ever forget what you’ve done to me.