Essure Coil Contraception Device.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

I cannot for the life of me imagine what it's like to insert an ink pen spring down the eye of me dick before giving the Mrs's a scribe, and yet thousands of women self-shove a brace of the fuckers into their flappian tubes before spreading their legs for a grind. STOP IT! It's silly and you'll be stopped at customs and fisted for incendiary devices. Surely there are other options available, aren't there?

 

Edited September 20, 2017 by 'eavensabove
refitting me pens.

[Frank]

5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

I cannot for the life of me imagine what it's like to insert an ink pen spring down the eye of me dick before giving the Mrs's a scribe, and yet thousands of women self-shove a brace of the fuckers into their flappian tubes before spreading their legs for a grind. STOP IT! It's silly and you'll be stopped at customs and fisted for incendiary devices. Surely there are other options available, aren't there?

 

Jesus fucking christ, you total fucking cretin.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Just now, FRANK said:

Jesus fucking christ, you total fucking cretin.

reported for blasphemy. 

[Mrs Roops]

8 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

I cannot for the life of me imagine what it's like to insert an ink pen spring down the eye of me dick before giving the Mrs's a scribe, and yet thousands of women self-shove a brace of the fuckers into their flappian tubes before spreading their legs for a grind. STOP IT! It's silly and you'll stopped at customs and fisted for incendiary devices. Surely there are other options available, aren't there?

 

For a start, the device is implanted by a doctor and is not "self-shoved". There are plenty of other options, mostly undertaken by women because men do not have to bear the burden of pregnancy and for the most part are unwilling to have the snip or take oral contraceptives. Finally, when you mean "a grind", I presume you mean that sex with you is just that?

[camberwell gypsy]

Just now, Mrs Roops said:

For a start, the device is implanted by a doctor and is not "self-shoved". There are plenty of other options, mostly undertaken by women because men do not have to bear the burden of pregnancy and for the most part are unwilling to have the snip or take oral contraceptives. Finally, when you mean "a grind", I presume you mean that sex with you is just that?

Lol😂

[Guest 'eavensabove]

6 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

For a start, the device is implanted by a doctor and is not "self-shoved". There are plenty of other options, mostly undertaken by women because men do not have to bear the burden of pregnancy and for the most part are unwilling to have the snip or take oral contraceptives. Finally, when you mean "a grind", I presume you mean that sex with you is just that?

Tutt Tutt...  For one, according to interviews today, some women do and can in fact insert the device, thinking that they can. Second, I take precautions by tying me ankles to the footboard and/or standing up just like me Mother was told too, and thirdly when a woman is yelling "Fuck Me" then a good grinding ensues. There's more to sex than just a frig in the Mercedes, Mrs. R.  

[Mrs Roops]

6 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Tutt Tutt...  For one, according to interviews today, some women do and can in fact insert the device, thinking that they can. Second, I take precautions by tying me ankles to the footboard and/or standing up just like me Mother was told too, and thirdly when a woman is yelling "Fuck Me" then a good grinding ensues. There's more to sex than just a frig in the Mercedes, Mrs. R.  

People like you make me laugh; when not making out that you are in constant demand for your looks, wit and personality we often read blokes like you making disparaging remarks about quite presentable women - the subtext of course is that you only squire the most desirable girls who seemingly can't get enough of you. I suspect that the reality is somewhat different and the only carnal release you experience is afforded by Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters.

[camberwell gypsy]

Just now, Mrs Roops said:

People like you make me laugh; when not making out that you are in constant demand for your looks, wit and personality we often read blokes like you making disparaging remarks about quite presentable women - the subtext of course is that you only squire the most desirable girls who seemingly can't get enough of you. I suspect that the reality is somewhat different and the only carnal release you experience is afforded by Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters.

Six lovely daughters, if he's from Norfolk. 

[The Beast]

Nothing wrong with an IUD, far less side effects than the Jack 'n Jill. Just as effective too. Not too sure one could guarantee correct placement by self inserting. I would have thought once correctly inserted, wait for a full menstrual cycle, check again, if still correctly insitu........ then enjoy.

I like mine.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

13 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

People like you make me laugh; when not making out that you are in constant demand for your looks, wit and personality we often read blokes like you making disparaging remarks about quite presentable women - the subtext of course is that you only squire the most desirable girls who seemingly can't get enough of you. I suspect that the reality is somewhat different and the only carnal release you experience is afforded by Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters.

Loosen-up for fucksakes Mrs. Presentable? I've not once bragged about my looks, wit or my personality as I don't have any of them (thanks to contraception) and the "reality" of me is also non-existent, and so you are wrong yet again on all counts. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

3 minutes ago, The Beast said:

Nothing wrong with an IUD, far less side effects than the Jack 'n Jill. Just as effective too. Not too sure one could guarantee correct placement by self inserting. I would have thought once correctly inserted, wait for a full menstrual cycle, check again, if still correctly insitu........ then enjoy.

I like mine.

I can vouch categorically that The Pill does not work... The one that I used kept falling off me dick. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Six lovely daughters, if he's from Norfolk. 

Just the two and currently dwelling in Surrey, together with my son.   

[Guest Lady Penelope]

11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Six lovely daughters, if he's from Norfolk. 

Marlady & 5 lovely dowters if he's from Stoke-on-Trent.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

5 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

Marlady & 5 lovely dowters if he's from Stoke-on-Trent.

Five bonny bairns based in East Fife.

[Decimus]

The best form of contraception is an ugly wife.

Fuck off.

[PANZER MURPHY]

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

For a start, the device is implanted by a doctor and is not "self-shoved". There are plenty of other options, mostly undertaken by women because men do not have to bear the burden of pregnancy and for the most part are unwilling to have the snip or take oral contraceptives. Finally, when you mean "a grind", I presume you mean that sex with you is just that?

That's it roops baby..learn his arse good 

Panzerknacker 

[Cap'n Cunt]

My dyslexic wife stuck an IED up her fanny by mistake. Best bang we ever had. 

I'll get me keffiyeh.

[Frank]

57 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

I can vouch categorically that The Pill does not work... The one that I used kept falling off me dick. 

You creepy disgusting little moron. I'll never forget the remarks you made about my mother. You won't do it again, that's for sure!

Idiot.

[The Beast]

7 minutes ago, FRANK said:

You creepy disgusting little moron. I'll never forget the remarks you made about my mother. You won't do it again, that's for sure!

Idiot.

I 've already grassed you to your venerable mother, you know, all that shit about her being dead. 

[Frank]

Just now, The Beast said:

I 've already grassed you to your venerable mother, you know, all that shit about her being dead. 

Proper, you two-bob chancer. This might resemble the goading of a half-wit, but I'm telling you now.. I won't have my mother, double-dead or alive, spoken about in such a way.

[Stubby Pecker]

58 minutes ago, FRANK said:

You creepy disgusting little moron. I'll never forget the remarks you made about my mother. You won't do it again, that's for sure!

Idiot.

Isn't it about time you developed full blown terminal cancer, again, you baldy excuse for a turd? 

Come round my place as you know where it is, and I'll give you something that would make cancer seem like a stubbed toe.

[Frank]

Just now, Stubby Pecker said:

Isn't it about time you developed full blown terminal cancer, again, you baldy excuse for a turd? 

Come round my place as you know where it is, and I'll give you something that would make cancer seem like a stubbed toe.

Elaborate, stubby.. you dopey little suburbanite. What would you do?

[Guest Lady Penelope]

1 hour ago, The Beast said:

I 've already grassed you to your venerable mother, you know, all that shit about her being dead. 

I haven't got a mother or a father.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

1 hour ago, FRANK said:

You creepy disgusting little moron. I'll never forget the remarks you made about my mother. You won't do it again, that's for sure!

Idiot.

If only several people's mothers on here had shoved that device in themselves, the world would be a much better place.

@'eavensabove when are you booked to speak at the next shagging convention? Fucking lonely berk.

[Eric Cuntman]

49 minutes ago, FRANK said:

Elaborate, stubby.. you dopey little suburbanite. What would you do?

He would do you. Odious little spastic.