Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 What is it with R&D fellows nowadays? Who the fuck dreams up all of this electric shit that nobody needs nor wants? Only lazy, pig ignorant cunts feel the need for an electric pepper grinder or corkscrew. I remember when all of this inane bollox received the brand name of Ronco or K-Tel to help you identify the tat on the high street. Now every cunt is at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Indeed. When did it become so arduous to grind one's pepper in a nice table mill? You twist the fucking thing, and it grinds the peppercorns into perfectly sized seasoning. Lazy, exertion shy cunts get on my fucking tits, and the bastards that invent these utter pieces of shit should be run through them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 I'll add things that beep unnecessarily. The light on my bike beeps when I turn it on. Why? My fucking kettle beeps loudly when turned on and once it's boiled, it's really annoying, means I cant have my 4am cuppa. My TV makes a sort of 'Bong' noise when turned on or off. I have a load of other electrical shite that beeps or chimes too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Exactly. Whatever will they think of next? An electric plastic phalus for crackpot spinsters? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 well one good thing is that all this electronic gear is getting more streamlined and much much lighter.......my old laptop was murder to hold up with one hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 4 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: What is it with R&D fellows nowadays? Who the fuck dreams up all of this electric shit that nobody needs nor wants? Only lazy, pig ignorant cunts feel the need for an electric pepper grinder or corkscrew. I remember when all of this inane bollox received the brand name of Ronco or K-Tel to help you identify the tat on the high street. Now every cunt is at it. What a pathetic pre chistmas nom. Absolutely pointless. If I knew where you lived I would call round and macerate your eyeballs with my new Ronco rechargeable hand held blender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 1 hour ago, witheredscrote said: What a pathetic pre chistmas nom. Absolutely pointless. If I knew where you lived I would call round and macerate your eyeballs with my new Ronco rechargeable hand held blender. Make sure you clean it properly afterwards, in the bath with you, you cunt you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 2 hours ago, witheredscrote said: What a pathetic pre chistmas nom. Absolutely pointless. If I knew where you lived I would call round and macerate your eyeballs with my new Ronco rechargeable hand held blender. You'd be lucky if it had enough power to mince an eyeball, and even fucking luckier if it held enough charge to do both of them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 38 minutes ago, DingTheDoggie!! said: You'd be lucky if it had enough power to mince an eyeball, and even fucking luckier if it held enough charge to do both of them... If only the same could be said of Prof B's dialysis machine - that'd survive the three day week and a nuclear winter, resolutely failing to switch off, whilst every I-Pad, PC and ultra-essential Nespresso coffee maker has long since given up the ghost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Electrically powered, labour saving devices are for lazy, lard-arsed fuckers who faint at the thought of real graft. Batteries should only be used in shit like Bill Stickers anal Rampant Hippopotamus. One technical breakthrough though, was the plastic Tomato Sauce bottle, (often called Ketchup by faggots) which allows bespoke application of the contents to your bacon banjo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 6 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Indeed. When did it become so arduous to grind one's pepper in a nice table mill? You twist the fucking thing, and it grinds the peppercorns into perfectly sized seasoning. Lazy, exertion shy cunts get on my fucking tits, and the bastards that invent these utter pieces of shit should be run through them. It's the chinkys with all their fucking plastic shite. The gash that's produced over there, it's nearly like a form of artificial life, which is to say that absolutely every conceivable niche is filled with some shit or other about ten times over, regardless that it has no chance of surviving, on account of it being a broken load of badly made fucking bollocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 46 minutes ago, Manky said: Electrically powered, labour saving devices are for lazy, lard-arsed fuckers who faint at the thought of real graft. Batteries should only be used in shit like Bill Stickers anal Rampant Hippopotamus. One technical breakthrough though, was the plastic Tomato Sauce bottle, (often called Ketchup by faggots) which allows bespoke application of the contents to your bacon banjo. I keep saying that to Mrs C- fucking forever buzzing away with that big black dildo and wasting batteries when there are perfectly good cucumbers and bananas in the, er, fruit bowl. And fuck off, cucumbers are technically a fruit and we are not weird cunts keeping them in the fruit bowl, even if they're dripping with vadge batter. It saves making up a salad dressing, and the kids love it. Anyway, what the fuck are you going on about ketchup being a faggot word, and ketchup bottles, as if you are yearning for the "old days" when as a lad, you used to carry it back from the shops in an oaken bucket, you fucking stupid cunt? I think you'll find that the root of the word "ketchup" has evolved from "catsup" or some shite from Indian colonial times, but also from Roman times before that, by which I mean "garam", therefore predating the Heinz tomato sauce you'll be squidging onto your lonely Christmas dinner of spam 'n' beans, you fucking asshole - you're the faggot, and a thick one to boot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 I've just ordered a last minute electric surprise for Mrs Baws' Xmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: I keep saying that to Mrs C- fucking forever buzzing away with that big black dildo and wasting batteries when there are perfectly good cucumbers and bananas in the, er, fruit bowl. And fuck off, cucumbers are technically a fruit and we are not weird cunts keeping them in the fruit bowl, even if they're dripping with vadge batter. It saves making up a salad dressing, and the kids love it. Anyway, what the fuck are you going on about ketchup being a faggot word, and ketchup bottles, as if you are yearning for the "old days" when as a lad, you used to carry it back from the shops in an oaken bucket, you fucking stupid cunt? I think you'll find that the root of the word "ketchup" has evolved from "catsup" or some shite from Indian colonial times, but also from Roman times before that, by which I mean "garam", therefore predating the Heinz tomato sauce you'll be squidging onto your lonely Christmas dinner of spam 'n' beans, you fucking asshole - you're the faggot, and a thick one to boot. Jesus wept , you're babbling on and on like a deranged fucking crack head. You have even seen off bill stickers with your massive output of utter fucking shit. Put the pipe down and neck a few valium, and then neck the rest of the bottle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 2 hours ago, Eddie said: Jesus wept , you're babbling on and on like a deranged fucking crack head. You have even seen off bill stickers with your massive output of utter fucking shit. Put the pipe down and neck a few valium, and then neck the rest of the bottle. Be fair Eddie , he probably has too much time on his hands , it is a general failing in most 'secure mental health units'. I feel the lad is turning the corner , he had a pop at me and didn't say bleach once. With QC I am reminded of the old proverb ' The sun is always brightest before it sets '. We live in hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 49 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Be fair Eddie , he probably has too much time on his hands , it is a general failing in most 'secure mental health units'. I feel the lad is turning the corner , he had a pop at me and didn't say bleach once. With QC I am reminded of the old proverb ' The sun is always brightest before it sets '. We live in hope. Using a tor, so who's duel Id is he ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 14 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: What is it with R&D fellows nowadays? Who the fuck dreams up all of this electric shit that nobody needs nor wants? Only lazy, pig ignorant cunts feel the need for an electric pepper grinder or corkscrew. I remember when all of this inane bollox received the brand name of Ronco or K-Tel to help you identify the tat on the high street. Now every cunt is at it. Absolute crap, I bought one when my old pepper mill packed up. Took six batteries which it went through in no time and produced a small pinch of pepper a minute. It went in the bin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 I have a fridge freezer that beeps if you leave the door open, a microwave that beeps when its finished and you haven't opened it and a fucking dishwasher that beeps when you have the temerity not to open the door when its finished its cycle. Get in the car and the French fucker beeps if you haven't belted up and it beeps if you're near a bollard. Bollocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 6 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: I've just ordered a last minute electric surprise for Mrs Baws' Xmas. e Remember to wet the sponge on her head otherwise her head will catch alight like that bloke on the Green Mile. Or maybe not Baws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 8 hours ago, Manky said: Electrically powered, labour saving devices are for lazy, lard-arsed fuckers who faint at the thought of real graft. Batteries should only be used in shit like Bill Stickers anal Rampant Hippopotamus. One technical breakthrough though, was the plastic Tomato Sauce bottle, (often called Ketchup by faggots) which allows bespoke application of the contents to your bacon banjo. You disgust me. Tomato sauce (often called Ketchup by faggots) on a bacon sarnie? You dirty fucking tramp. Admin should ban you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted December 24, 2015 Report Share Posted December 24, 2015 4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I have a fridge freezer that beeps if you leave the door open, a microwave that beeps when its finished and you haven't opened it and a fucking dishwasher that beeps when you have the temerity not to open the door when its finished its cycle. Get in the car and the French fucker beeps if you haven't belted up and it beeps if you're near a bollard. Bollocks That's just cos you're a woman driver.... 3 hours ago, deebom said: You disgust me. Tomato sauce (often called Ketchup by faggots) on a bacon sarnie? You dirty fucking tramp. Admin should ban you. Too right.. fucking heathen deserves a proper Inquisition for that blasphemy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted December 24, 2015 Report Share Posted December 24, 2015 15 hours ago, witheredscrote said: What a pathetic pre chistmas nom. Absolutely pointless. If I knew where you lived I would call round and macerate your eyeballs with my new Ronco rechargeable hand held blender. Point of order your honour, I don't believe Ronco ever produced a rechargeable hand held blender. I await the inevitable rebuff with pictures from bawsy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 24, 2015 Report Share Posted December 24, 2015 17 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Exactly. Whatever will they think of next? An electric plastic phalus for crackpot spinsters? Or, for other more effeminate, fiery poof types, like Stickers, Dapps and Frank, one with a kick start, super charged BMW motorbike engine. Leave them gaping like channel tunnel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 24, 2015 Report Share Posted December 24, 2015 7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Or, for other more effeminate, fiery poof types, like Stickers, Dapps and Frank, one with a kick start, super charged BMW motorbike engine. Leave them gaping like channel tunnel. Another comedy gem from across the pond! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 24, 2015 Report Share Posted December 24, 2015 19 hours ago, deebom said: You disgust me. Tomato sauce (often called Ketchup by faggots) on a bacon sarnie? You dirty fucking tramp. Admin should ban you. DB, you silly cunt, I've already given Manky an excellent reprimand for this fucking "ketchup shite", yet here you are dragging it out again like a dismal game of scrabble on a wet Sunday, with fucking you, you boring old cunt woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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