Bubba C Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said: I am thinking of getting another television .. does anyone know how I change channels is is there still just the BBC? Pen, with these new TV's, the way to get the best picture is to plug it in and press 'autotune'. Whilst that's working its magic, run yourself a nice hot bath. Then, after about 5 minutes, place yourself, and the switched on TV into the bath simultaneously, relax, and enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 7 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Pen, with these new TV's, the way to get the best picture is to plug it in and press 'autotune'. Whilst that's working its magic, run yourself a nice hot bath. Then, after about 5 minutes, place yourself, and the switched on TV into the bath simultaneously, relax, and enjoy. Aerate the water with a hairdryer at the same time for jacuzzi type bubbles as well.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 On 12/19/2016 at 0:39 PM, neil298 said: Just had a third couple confirm to me that most women are tech illiterate,fuck knows how many times I tell the stupid bint but my TV is always on standard definition when I walk in,when switched to hd you get " doesn't look any different to me"......same with the speaker system and surround sound,all 3 women concerned said that they fucking hate it and would rather have 4 channels and a fucking video recorder Fucking dopey cunts They don't bother me until they demonstrate a deliberate unwillingness to learn, or try to claim that anybody attempting to teach them is "talking down to them" or geek speaking. Pay attention, you stupid cunt, it's not that difficult. If they're fit, and shaggable, I can somehow find an extra store of patience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: They don't bother me until they demonstrate a deliberate unwillingness to learn, or try to claim that anybody attempting to teach them is "talking down to them" or geek speaking. Pay attention, you stupid cunt, it's not that difficult. If they're fit, and shaggable, I can somehow find an extra store of patience. Yes, but the problem for you is, in that extra minute or two explaining stuff, they realise your breath fucking stinks Wiz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 5 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I am thinking of getting another television .. does anyone know how I change channels is is there still just the BBC? In the old days before stato lite tv there were only 4 stations full of shit. Now there are fucking hundreds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 3 hours ago, Punkape said: Aerate the water with a hairdryer at the same time for jacuzzi type bubbles as well.... All that current going into her she won't need an hairdryer for bubbles. Her ovaries will fire out of her cunny like a fucking u-boat torpedos. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Yes, but the problem for you is, in that extra minute or two explaining stuff, they realise your breath fucking stinks Wiz. My breath is like a crisp fresh winter breeze. I'm quite meticulous about keeping clean teeth and fresh breath. Before I forget, fuck off. LolLOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 9 hours ago, Punkape said: Aerate the water with a hairdryer at the same time for jacuzzi type bubbles as well.... You first errr will I get bubbles? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 On 19/12/2016 at 7:01 PM, Cuntybaws said: An unfair nomination - it's patently obvious that Mrs Roops can use Google with the best of them. Many moons ago, I used to be hopelessly in love with Mrs Roops, long before Lady P dismissively fucking drop-kicked me off the back of her guard's van, but she spurned my affection. All the promises of romantic strolls along the Corniche were but an illusion. She is a cruel and heartless mistress. Body to fucking die for if I recall, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 48 minutes ago, Rev said: Many moons ago, I used to be hopelessly in love with Mrs Roops, long before Lady P dismissively fucking drop-kicked me off the back of her guard's van, but she spurned my affection. All the promises of romantic strolls along the Corniche were but an illusion. She is a cruel and heartless mistress. Body to fucking die for if I recall, though. Women eh? Bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 6 hours ago, Rev said: Many moons ago, I used to be hopelessly in love with Mrs Roops, long before Lady P dismissively fucking drop-kicked me off the back of her guard's van, but she spurned my affection. All the promises of romantic strolls along the Corniche were but an illusion. She is a cruel and heartless mistress. Body to fucking die for if I recall, though. There's nothing worse than a woman who'll eat the pickled onion out of your fish supper, and then refuse to give you a sloppy drunken blowjob on the top deck of the night bus home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted December 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 She still cant get her head around wi-fi and mobile service,"It says no service yet I can get on the internet"..yes,its fucking wi-fi when your indoors,"how comes I can't use my mobile then if i'm connected to wi-fi?"....Give me fucking strength!...I have lost count how many times Ive fucking told her that the PC needs to be on if she wants to play music through the Sonos system I have,"|I couldn't play any music today" she says..TURN THE FUCKING PC ON THEN YOU STUPID CUNT!"...."you dont need to turn the PC on if you want to play the music through Deezer".I say....."?????????"(1000 yard stare)....Oh just fuck off! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Once saw these three lasses trying to push start one of those Mercedes vans and offered them a jump. The genius in the cab connected both the positive and negative jump leads to the negative contact and the bolt next to the negative contact on her battery. Next thing I know my Fabia is making a horrible screeching sound and the silly cow in the van is screaming at me because the carpet and passenger seat in the van are smouldering. She runs out of the van screaming it's going to blow up and I get left with disconnecting the cables (by yanking them out through the van's window) and putting the handbrake on on the van. Which she'd forgot to engage. Once all the drama is finished we try again and they managed to get out of view before fucking something up again, so I assume they got home OK. The power steering didn't work on the Fabia for a while, but it came back to life after a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 3 minutes ago, Dr. Chernobyl said: Once saw these three lasses trying to push start one of those Mercedes vans and offered them a jump. The genius in the cab connected both the positive and negative jump leads to the negative contact and the bolt next to the negative contact on her battery. Next thing I know my Fabia is making a horrible screeching sound and the silly cow in the van is screaming at me because the carpet and passenger seat in the van are smouldering. She runs out of the van screaming it's going to blow up and I get left with disconnecting the cables (by yanking them out through the van's window) and putting the handbrake on on the van. Which she'd forgot to engage. Once all the drama is finished we try again and they managed to get out of view before fucking something up again, so I assume they got home OK. The power steering didn't work on the Fabia for a while, but it came back to life after a bit. Fascinating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Just now, Ape said: Fascinating. Condescending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 4 minutes ago, Ape said: Fascinating. Now, now Ape, be fair, that story was exactly the sort of cuntitude that deserves to be reported on these hallowed pages - if, perhaps, at slightly less length. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Now, now Ape, be fair, that story was exactly the sort of cuntitude that deserves to be reported on these hallowed pages - if, perhaps, at slightly less length. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Sorry 'Baws - after a four hour car journey in pissing rain and howling wind, my normally tolerant and easy-going nature is being tested. Tested to the fucking limit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Batbomb Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 23 minutes ago, Dr. Chernobyl said: Condescending. boring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 6 hours ago, neil298 said: She still cant get her head around wi-fi and mobile service,"It says no service yet I can get on the internet"..yes,its fucking wi-fi when your indoors,"how comes I can't use my mobile then if i'm connected to wi-fi?"....Give me fucking strength!...I have lost count how many times Ive fucking told her that the PC needs to be on if she wants to play music through the Sonos system I have,"|I couldn't play any music today" she says..TURN THE FUCKING PC ON THEN YOU STUPID CUNT!"...."you dont need to turn the PC on if you want to play the music through Deezer".I say....."?????????"(1000 yard stare)....Oh just fuck off! Fair point, but I bet if you asked Mrs Neil to replace the batteries on her super womb-invader 5000 dildo, she'd have no issues with the technology. Horses for courses, is all I'm saying. And ponies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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