Cunts who move near noisy things, then complain about the noise.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

If you live near an airport, railway or school, and then want steps taken to reduce the noise from that thing, then you are a dozy stupid cunt. 

This sort of thing always seems to crop up in local newspapers. A fair number of smaller airports now have ridiculous flying restrictions because some twat didn't notice their house was built at the end of an active airport runway.

My top tip: invest in some earplugs and get out more.

At this time of year it will be "Christmas ruined by noisy trains" and "I've written to my MP three times!".

 

[The Beast]

 

[Cuntybaws]

Is this in any way related to cunts who join the Corner and then complain when they're told to kill themselves?

[Ape™️]

8 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

If you live near an airport, railway or school, and then want steps taken to reduce the noise from that thing, then you are a dozy stupid cunt. 

This sort of thing always seems to crop up in local newspapers. A fair number of smaller airports now have ridiculous flying restrictions because some twat didn't notice their house was built at the end of an active airport runway.

My top tip: invest in some earplugs and get out more.

At this time of year it will be "Christmas ruined by noisy trains" and "I've written to my MP three times!".

 

Do you have a mood room that helps inspire such brilliant noms as this?  

[Guest Manky]

No wonder the Germans got pissed off with Anne Franks drum kit.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

When I moved next door to the corner we used to chat with our neigbours over the fence.

 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

When I moved next door to the corner we used to chat with our neigbours over the fence.

 

When they shout "fuck off you dozy old bint" it's not chatting you know... sorry to be the bringer of bad tidings at this time of year and all that.

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

If you live near an airport, railway or school, and then want steps taken to reduce the noise from that thing, then you are a dozy stupid cunt. 

This sort of thing always seems to crop up in local newspapers. A fair number of smaller airports now have ridiculous flying restrictions because some twat didn't notice their house was built at the end of an active airport runway.

My top tip: invest in some earplugs and get out more.

At this time of year it will be "Christmas ruined by noisy trains" and "I've written to my MP three times!".

 

I was sitting on the river bank here in 'my' very rural France today and an otter started burrowing in the bank near me, making a rather peculiar squeaking sound. So I shot the noisy little cunt. Tres tiresome.

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Manky said:

No wonder the Germans got pissed off with Anne Franks drum kit.

I've got the utmost respect for Anne Frank. I mean all that time spent in fucking attic and she still had loads to write. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Back when I was a younger bloke, it was the cunt who would call from the loud night club that got on my tits.  Half pissed, standing next to the column speakers which were always blasting some urban fucking bitch, ho, coppers suck shite...the bastard would bray on about how it's the greatest night ever, and I simply had to get out for this one.  The stupid fucking cunts wouldn't hear me telling him to kill himself before hanging up.  

[Neil]

6 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I've got the utmost respect for Anne Frank. I mean all that time spent in fucking attic and she still had loads to write. 

?"gonna write a classic.........."

[Decimus]

9 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

If you live near an airport, railway or school, and then want steps taken to reduce the noise from that thing, then you are a dozy stupid cunt. 

This sort of thing always seems to crop up in local newspapers. A fair number of smaller airports now have ridiculous flying restrictions because some twat didn't notice their house was built at the end of an active airport runway.

My top tip: invest in some earplugs and get out more.

At this time of year it will be "Christmas ruined by noisy trains" and "I've written to my MP three times!".

 

I bet your neighbours regret the day they moved in next to you. All night, tap fucking tap as you bash out yet another load of mammoth fucking shit on your keyboard.

[Guest Manky]

I sleep right through the ambient noise at home. Sirens, gunshots, helicopters and screams. I would never dream of complaining. It was like that when my probation officer moved me here.

[Eric Cuntman]

8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I've got the utmost respect for Anne Frank. I mean all that time spent in fucking attic and she still had loads to write. 

Very advanced writing for her age. Would definitely have been given a gold star had she attended school.

[Roadkill]

I had the worst upstairs neighbours before I moved where I am now. Four people living in a three bedroom flat with three (not small) dogs. A mother, her two sons, and the mothers boyfriend (the only one who had a job, the boys were claiming disability for "learning difficulties" despite being in their 20's and smart enough to already have kids of their own, and the mother was a fat slob who spent her days stamping around the flat screaming at the dogs in a voice only 30 plus years of smoking could give you) all in a cramped upstairs flat with no carpets, so you could hear everything and smell when one of the dogs (who they never walked or let out) took a shit. Dirty bastards still have bin bags up over their windows as oppose to real curtains or blinds, and the mother had a habit of devouring those cooked chickens in a bag from Tesco and throwing the empty bags out of her bedroom window and into our garden. Cunts the lot of them. I hope the place burns down with them trapped inside one day.

[Guest Batbomb]

I have a neighbour similar to this. I use her property as a spitoon. 

[Roadkill]

Good man. Burdens on the system like that should be euthanized via lead pipe to the face and repurposed as compost. Mother Chernobyl actually knew her when they were kids, apparently her father owned a very successful ice cream company and left his three daughters his legacy in his will. The other two are still off living the high life, but the dumb bitch I had to live under blew her share at the bookies in a matter of months and now leaches off the state via her two chav sons.

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Dr. Chernobyl said:

Good man. Burdens on the system like that should be euthanized via lead pipe to the face and repurposed as compost. Mother Chernobyl actually knew her when they were kids, apparently her father owned a very successful ice cream company and left his three daughters his legacy in his will. The other two are still off living the high life, but the dumb bitch I had to live under blew her share at the bookies in a matter of months and now leaches off the state via her two chav sons.

Sounds like she ate all the ice cream 

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

Dr Chernobyl. I presume you reside in an affordable dwelling or, as they're more commonly known, a council shit pit. i recommend you put a bit more effort in and climb the social ladder to success like me and my mate, Punkape.

[Roadkill]

9 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Dr Chernobyl. I presume you reside in an affordable dwelling or, as they're more commonly known, a council shit pit. i recommend you put a bit more effort in and climb the social ladder to success like me and my mate, Punkape.

Punkape is truly an inspiration to filthy council dwellers like myself.

[Roadkill]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sounds like she ate all the ice cream 

You should have heard her stamping around the house all day stuffing her face with pre-cooked chicken and screaming at her dogs in her manly voice. In fact no you shouldn't. I wouldn't wish the experience on any other person. The street used to flood when it rained heavily and the houses have pools of stagnant water trapped under the floorboards. I used to sleep with ear plugs in so I wouldn't hear the slugs squelching around on the underside of my floorboards.

[Roadkill]

5 minutes ago, Thundercunt said:

My mate moved in with me

Now he has to listen to me shit and piss, as his bedroom is next to the bathroom

Excellent

Turn on the sink when you go. I've shared many a cardboard-walled flat with roommates.

[Guest Manky]

My neighbour is an inconsiderate cunt. He bangs loudly on the wall every night at about 3 o'clock. BANG. BANG.BANG. Talk about being antisocial. He needs to shut the fuck up.Sometimes I can't even hear what tune I am playing on my bagpipes.

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Manky said:

My neighbour is an inconsiderate cunt. He bangs loudly on the wall every night at about 3 o'clock. BANG. BANG.BANG. Talk about being antisocial. He needs to shut the fuck up.Sometimes I can't even hear what tune I am playing on my bagpipes.

The fuck you doing with bagpipes, Manky? I'll have to contact Geordie HQ. That stuff isn't supposed to be allowed south of The Wall...

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

4 minutes ago, Manky said:

My neighbour is an inconsiderate cunt. He bangs loudly on the wall every night at about 3 o'clock. BANG. BANG.BANG. Talk about being antisocial. He needs to shut the fuck up.Sometimes I can't even hear what tune I am playing on my bagpipes.

Punkape also has bagpipes.  The golf course administrator's cock and balls resting on his face in exchange for an appliance box in the heavy equipment shed.