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Ungrateful little cunts


Neil

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I'll start........My son-in-law,bought him a lovely fucking axe for his firewood,leather handle,finest forged steel,was he grateful?,was he bollocks.Wish i'd bought the cunt the 6 quid one off the market,then buried in his 'orrible fucking head.Anyway,they've fucked off now round his parents,a proper cuntfest if ever there was one

Fuck off santa you cunt

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My son has just rolled in for Xmas dinner. That’s fine, but he’s brought his girlfriend along too, who obviously doesn't want to be here, and if she doesn't crack a fucking smile at some point soon I'm going to dismember the hatchet-faced whining cunt with a handily-positioned carving knife. I don’t know if she has giblets, but I'm going to go digging for them anyway. Perhaps they look like ovaries? Or kidneys? 

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3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

My son has just rolled in for Xmas dinner. That’s fine, but he’s brought his girlfriend along too, who obviously doesn't want to be here, and if she doesn't crack a fucking smile at some point soon I'm going to dismember the hatchet-faced whining cunt with a handily-positioned carving knife. I don’t know if she has giblets, but I'm going to go digging for them anyway. Perhaps they look like ovaries? Or kidneys? 

When you locate her giblets baws, here's a useful tip; they make an excellent gravy. Waste not want not.

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6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

My son has just rolled in for Xmas dinner. That’s fine, but he’s brought his girlfriend along too, who obviously doesn't want to be here, and if she doesn't crack a fucking smile at some point soon I'm going to dismember the hatchet-faced whining cunt with a handily-positioned carving knife. I don’t know if she has giblets, but I'm going to go digging for them anyway. Perhaps they look like ovaries? Or kidneys? 

Put your cock in her ear CB. If she asks why, say you're trying to fuck some sense into her

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3 minutes ago, scotty said:

When you locate her giblets baws, here's a useful tip; they make an excellent gravy. Waste not want not.

I've just demolished what purports to be a 3-month supply of Hotel Chocolat's finest, so the only gravy currently on my mind is the baby gravy that I'm going to pour on Mrs Baws' face later in an on-topic display of gratitude.

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No ungrateful little cunts are allowed to spoil Christmas Day for me. I have none of my own and Mrs Manky's are grown up. My whole day is meticulously planned, down to the last detail, to enable me to watch a seasonal Tarantino film. This year, Hateful Eight. (There is snow in it)

Thank fuck it is over. Christmas that is, not the film.

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Me and my clan have been on a country walk to work off the 7000+ calories per person demolished in the viking cunt festival of Christmas dinner. 

Now back in the manor house preparing for a Christmas tea. Personally I can't wait to spend boxing day wearing pj's, eating choc, drinking wine and watching darts and lovejoy. Oh and conversing with a bunch of bastards on line 

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Guest Lady Penelope
2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Me and my clan have been on a country walk to work off the 7000+ calories per person demolished in the viking cunt festival of Christmas dinner. 

Now back in the manor house preparing for a Christmas tea. Personally I can't wait to spend boxing day wearing pj's, eating choc, drinking wine and watching darts and lovejoy. Oh and conversing with a bunch of bastards on line 

Who are the bastards on line?

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Guest nobgobbler
3 hours ago, ratcum said:

Put your cock in her ear CB. If she asks why, say you're trying to fuck some sense into her

She'll probably let him as well. Especially if she doesn't like it in her mouth.

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Guest DingTheRioja
3 hours ago, ratcum said:

We had goose today. Badly fucked up crap that is.

Don't mention that to Withers... he'll be moaning you nicked his bird....

D'ya see what I did there? No?

 

Right, back to topic... who the fuck invented christmas pudding?

You've just waded your way through 4lb of turkey, 2lb of pork, 6lb of stuffing, matching roast potatoes and gravy, 2 sprouts, (a balanced meal!!) then some cunt puts a soggy cannonball in front of you, douses it in brandy, set's it on fire (the fucking waste!!) then puts the fire out with "brandy sauce"...?

Just give me the fucking brandy and shut up.

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8 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Don't mention that to Withers... he'll be moaning you nicked his bird....

D'ya see what I did there? No?

 

Right, back to topic... who the fuck invented christmas pudding?

You've just waded your way through 4lb of turkey, 2lb of pork, 6lb of stuffing, matching roast potatoes and gravy, 2 sprouts, (a balanced meal!!) then some cunt puts a soggy cannonball in front of you, douses it in brandy, set's it on fire (the fucking waste!!) then puts the fire out with "brandy sauce"...?

Just give me the fucking brandy and shut up.

I like Christmas pudding. Anyone who sets light to it is a cunt 

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52 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Don't mention that to Withers... he'll be moaning you nicked his bird....

D'ya see what I did there? No?

 

Right, back to topic... who the fuck invented christmas pudding?

You've just waded your way through 4lb of turkey, 2lb of pork, 6lb of stuffing, matching roast potatoes and gravy, 2 sprouts, (a balanced meal!!) then some cunt puts a soggy cannonball in front of you, douses it in brandy, set's it on fire (the fucking waste!!) then puts the fire out with "brandy sauce"...?

Just give me the fucking brandy and shut up.

Ding, I realise it's Xmas, but even that can't excuse this load of utter, utter fucking shit. If I could indeed give you the brandy, I'd make sure it was enough to kill you.

Merry Christmas.

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1 hour ago, DingTheRioja said:

Don't mention that to Withers... he'll be moaning you nicked his bird....

D'ya see what I did there? No?

 

Right, back to topic... who the fuck invented christmas pudding?

You've just waded your way through 4lb of turkey, 2lb of pork, 6lb of stuffing, matching roast potatoes and gravy, 2 sprouts, (a balanced meal!!) then some cunt puts a soggy cannonball in front of you, douses it in brandy, set's it on fire (the fucking waste!!) then puts the fire out with "brandy sauce"...?

Just give me the fucking brandy and shut up.

Good tidings we bring,

To you and your Ding,

We wish you a merry Christmas,

You dirty northern fucking queer.

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2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said:

Don't mention that to Withers... he'll be moaning you nicked his bird....

D'ya see what I did there? No?

 

Right, back to topic... who the fuck invented christmas pudding?

You've just waded your way through 4lb of turkey, 2lb of pork, 6lb of stuffing, matching roast potatoes and gravy, 2 sprouts, (a balanced meal!!) then some cunt puts a soggy cannonball in front of you, douses it in brandy, set's it on fire (the fucking waste!!) then puts the fire out with "brandy sauce"...?

Just give me the fucking brandy and shut up.

I can only get through the pudding by thinking of some starving cunts in Africa

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