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Needing to piss when the missus is taking a long bath.


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Guest Tata Steely Dan
Posted

Sat here on my sofa, contemplating making a fucking Map of Africa on the upholstery. I've contemplated micturating in the kitchen sink already, so don't even try and suggest it.

 

couch-with-pee-before.jpg

Aye lad, that'll do it.

Guest Tata Steely Dan
Posted
5 minutes ago, Ape said:

Why not piss in the garden, you stupid prick? Or do you live in a tower block? Cunt.

I'm not a barbarian. Do you frequently take a leak in your leeks? 

Guest Tata Steely Dan
Posted
Just now, Ape said:

I'd use one of my other bathrooms. 

Fuck off, you're like a Poundland Punkape substitute. Try harder.

Posted
12 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Fuck off, you're like a Poundland Punkape substitute. Try harder.

Believe it or not, some people do have more than one bathroom in their house. Really, it's nothing unusual these days. Eddie had six for fucks sake!

Posted
4 minutes ago, Ape said:

Believe it or not, some people do have more than one bathroom in their house. Really, it's nothing unusual these days. Eddie had six for fucks sake!

4 but only 3 have baths. Embarrassing i know.

Guest DingTheRioja
Posted
57 minutes ago, Ape said:

Why not piss in the garden, you stupid prick? Or do you live in a tower block? Cunt.

Off the balcony?

30 minutes ago, Ape said:

Believe it or not, some people do have more than one bathroom in their house. Really, it's nothing unusual these days. Eddie had six for fucks sake!

Did you mean more than one in their street? It is TSD after all..

Posted
17 minutes ago, Eddie said:

India was a disaster ape, 4 days of fun 7 days of gastroenteritis. Never going back 

Sorry to hear that Edders. On reflection I'm not that sorry really, but you know, deep down, that I do care about you. 

Posted
1 hour ago, Ape said:

I'd use one of my other bathrooms. 

You bloody liar, you would go for a quick run, hop over some cunts garden fence, have a piss AND a huge dump into the bargain, leaving some poor canine to take the rap for it. And don't bastard well deny it, you freely admitted to being a 'turdler' only a couple of weeks ago.

Posted
3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

I'm French, so I am sure my opinion isn't required.

I knew a French girl named Joele when I was at college, she told me in France it was customary to shit in the shower and push it through the plug hole with your big toe.

Posted

Piss in the garden, the main benefits of living in the middle of no where. And the quite, fresh air, wildlife, lack of chavs and not having to communicate with cunt neighbours and their rat kids. Haven't gone as far as a dump in the garden yet, out on a run however....

  • Like 1
Posted

When you've got a prostate the size of a cabbage you quickly learn the art of pissing anywhere and not giving a fuck,probably at the top of the Asinelli tower in Bologna was one of the memorable ones.The idea of having to go down 300 plus steps having just got to the top was not an option so it was on the knees,knob out and aaaaaahhhhhhh,relief.Got a few odd looks but have needs must and all that.

Guest Alfie Noakes
Posted

Go and piss on the offside wheel of a parked vehicle while holding up your right hand declaring loudly "in pain, in pain". Well that is what I told a mate once while waiting for a taxi after an evening on the lash. I think it may have to be your own vehicle as the next cabbie to arrive was not too pleased and called the old bill. A fist fight ensued and overnight accomodation was arranged by the police in their "hotel" for the major protagonists.

Guest Alfie Noakes
Posted
4 hours ago, Neil said:

Like this one only bigger

download.jpg

This is what my mri scan looked like

 

large.gourd-8.jpg

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