Harrison Ford's aeronautical skills

[Guest Lady Penelope]

In 2014 he crash landed his plane onto a golf course and now he has landed by mistake on the taxiway John Wayne Airport in Orange County and narrowly missing an airliner

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Perhaps he should get some lessons from his Scientologist friend John Travolta.

[Guest Ollyboro]

Bollocks. If it wasn't for his skills flying the Millennium fucking Falcon that helmet haired farmer's son Skywalker would never have hit the bullseye and blown up the Death Star. All this whilst sitting next to a flea ridden Tourettes mat. The only reason he crashed his plane was because he was trying to retrieve his anorexic wife from down the side of the chair.

[Ape™️]

Shame the cunt wasn't ingested by a GE90 at takeoff thrust.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

1 minute ago, Ape said:

Shame the cunt wasn't ingested by a GE90 at takeoff thrust.

An RR Trent engine would have done the job better.

[Cuntybaws]

12 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

The only reason he crashed his plane was because he was trying to retrieve his anorexic wife from down the side of the chair.

I'd fuck her until the eyeballs popped right out of her lollipop head!

[Cuntybaws]

1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'd fuck her until the eyeballs popped right out of her lollipop head!

Or for two minutes, whichever comes first.

[camberwell gypsy]

I admire Ford and his moody intense portrayal of deep disturbed heroes and his light hearted performances in the Star Wars series and he would be a most welcome guest in my humble abode. But if he landed his plane on my lawn, disturbing my koi carp and knocking over garden ornaments and causing deep trench marks with his wheels in my beautiful, manicured grass I'd say "OI! FORD NOOOOOOOO". 

[Ape™️]

19 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

An RR Trent engine would have done the job better.

Trent is a series of engines - GE90-115B is the most powerful turbofan.

[Guest Ollyboro]

14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'd fuck her until the eyeballs popped right out of her lollipop head!

Oh no. I bet the Carpenteresque cunt's got a clout like a badly coiffeured and randomly scythed wookie.

[Eric Cuntman]

32 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I admire Ford and his moody intense portrayal of deep disturbed heroes and his light hearted performances in the Star Wars series and he would be a most welcome guest in my humble abode. But if he landed his plane on my lawn, disturbing my koi carp and knocking over garden ornaments and causing deep trench marks with his wheels in my beautiful, manicured grass I'd say "OI! FORD NOOOOOOOO". 

And you'd be justified! Give 'im a slap.

[camberwell gypsy]

17 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

And you'd be justified! Give 'im a slap.

I had the same problem with Costner. 

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I admire Ford and his moody intense portrayal of deep disturbed heroes and his light hearted performances in the Star Wars series and he would be a most welcome guest in my humble abode. But if he landed his plane on my lawn, disturbing my koi carp and knocking over garden ornaments and causing deep trench marks with his wheels in my beautiful, manicured grass I'd say "OI! FORD NOOOOOOOO". 

That's not likely to happen though, but if that's what you want, that's what is going to happen

[Roadkill]

He's a fucking menace who flies antiquated machinery and should have had his license revoked ten years ago. Of course he's famous, so we'll just have to wait for him to cause a few fatalities before anything is done about it.

[Cap'n Cunt]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I admire Ford and his moody intense portrayal of deep disturbed heroes and his light hearted performances in the Star Wars series and he would be a most welcome guest in my humble abode. But if he landed his plane on my lawn, disturbing my koi carp and knocking over garden ornaments and causing deep trench marks with his wheels in my beautiful, manicured grass I'd say "OI! FORD NOOOOOOOO". 

By 'garden ornaments', you mean a broken sofa, three rusty washing machines and a Ford Cortina that's been up on bricks since 1982?

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

That's not likely to happen though, but if that's what you want, that's what is going to happen

It's true, must be, fat bloke down the pub said.

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It's true, must be, fat bloke down the pub said.

Nice bloke fat bloke. Nice and fat. Would you let him use your bog?

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

4 hours ago, Ape said:

Trent is a series of engines - GE90-115B is the most powerful turbofan.

I bow to your nerdism.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

In his defence, it is probably the best use of a golf course.  They're otherwise a waste of fucking space unless someone gets building permission..

[Eric Cuntman]

31 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Nice bloke fat bloke. Nice and fat. Would you let him use your bog?

I Dunno Lance, but you wanna 'ave that wing mirror, go in handy on your Hillman Imp.

[Wolfie]

5 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'd fuck her until the eyeballs popped right out of her lollipop head!

The only stuffing she'd get from me involves a humane, empathetic Burger King. It'd be akin to shagging a physio's skeleton.

[Cuntybaws]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

The only stuffing she'd get from me involves a humane, empathetic Burger King. It'd be akin to shagging a physio's skeleton.

Or, as Frankie Boyle once said of Victoria Beckham, "like trying to separate two deck chairs with your cock".

[camberwell gypsy]

7 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

Bollocks. If it wasn't for his skills flying the Millennium fucking Falcon that helmet haired farmer's son Skywalker would never have hit the bullseye and blown up the Death Star. All this whilst sitting next to a flea ridden Tourettes mat. The only reason he crashed his plane was because he was trying to retrieve his anorexic wife from down the side of the chair.

Is that the same wife who was kidnapped in Paris? Wait hang on; that was a film weren't it? Doh 

[camberwell gypsy]

6 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

That's not likely to happen though, but if that's what you want, that's what is going to happen

It did with Costner and his helicopter. He asked if he could have a pee in my toilet. I said "OI Costner NOOOOOO. All your films are shit especially that crap where he makes a baseball pitch and all the ghosts come out of the corn to play. Get your chopper off my lawn and fuck off, you flop movie making cunt. And is that Samuel L Jackson sitting there? He can fuck off as well". 

[Ape™️]

17 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

It did with Costner and his helicopter. He asked if he could have a pee in my toilet. I said "OI Costner NOOOOOO. All your films are shit especially that crap where he makes a baseball pitch and all the ghosts come out of the corn to play. Get your chopper off my lawn and fuck off, you flop movie making cunt. And is that Samuel L Jackson sitting there? He can fuck off as well".