Earl of Punkape Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 Just now, Ape said: Range Rover? Depends.....I have a Golf runaround for London as well. Good evening Ape. Are you managing your cocktail of retro-vitals to stave off full blown AIDS..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 4 minutes ago, deebom said: As if you come to London you cunt. I suppose you're voting Liberal to get a legal and plentiful supply of drugs ? Junky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 31 minutes ago, Punkape said: Depends.....I have a Golf runaround for London as well. Good evening Ape. Are you managing your cocktail of retro-vitals to stave off full blown AIDS..... Evening Punkers. Is your golf runaround a stolen golf cart or an actual VW Golf? With regards your rather unpleasant comment about retro-virals, all I have to say is - fuck off you fucking wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 26 minutes ago, Ape said: Evening Punkers. Is your golf runaround a stolen golf cart or an actual VW Golf? With regards your rather unpleasant comment about retro-virals, all I have to say is - fuck off you fucking wanker. You're welcome. lol. Eat shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Ape said: For the love of god, nobody else quote this nom. I've just scrolled through around 15 feet of iPhone 6S Plus screen.... Then you are a stupid cunt.. lol .. fuck off .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 5 hours ago, Roadkill said: I had to use public transport for the first time in five years today, due to a series of circumstances that left me unable to use my car to get to the required destination on time. I decided to use the bus, which turned out to be a mistake. I had to stand for most of the ride, the seats were full of stinking OAP's, chav mothers holding shit smelling, screeching infants and hoody wearing twenty-something ne'er do wells that would glare at you like you spat at their feet at the slightest hint that your eyes might lock with their own. The whole atmosphere was one of shit, hopelessness and stubborn unwillingness to change one's lot in life. The floor was sticky with an unknown substance that made a loud ripping noise whenever I lifted the soles of my boots from it and the temperature fluctuated between uncomfortably humid to dangerously over heated due to those shit windows that they have that open a quarter of an inch (presumably to keep the bus smell from polluting the outside world) and the drivers stubborn unwillingness to turn off the heaters. I finally gained a seat when a scowling youth stomped his way off the bus, rudely shoulder barging me as he passed with a bony shoulder, undoubtedly on his way to the Job Centre to sign on for another weeks worth of dole to spend on weed and £500 I phones. I was tempted to stab him in the throat, but I simply lacked the energy due to the excessive heat and stifling air, so I allowed him passage, marking his face for a righteous glassing in the small chance that our paths might cross again in the future. Having a seat made the journey slightly more tolerable, despite the heater now burning my left calf through my jeans with the heat of a thousand suns and the harsh knowledge that the seat I was using would undoubtedly been both shat and pissed upon on multiple occasions throughout its lifetime, the rancid stink of the isle was kept at bay due to the faint air currents seeping through the window and the view of the outside world going by gave me some small hope that I would make it to my destination alive and well. I occupied my time by watching two wasps battle it out near the back window of the bus over what appeared to be a half eaten doughnut inside a discarded Greggs bag and occasionally checking my phone for messages. I was making decent progress of it all... 'till she arrived. She was about 5'4 in height, and roughly the same in width. Late fifties with long grey and white hair with just a hint of nicotine brown to accent the colours and dull doughy eyes with large bags under them. She waddled her way over, panting and gasping through her slack open mouth. She wore an ancient denim jacket over a sauce stained pink cardigan with the picture of a sickeningly "cute" cat embroidered across its front in full A3 size glory and one of those black ankle length dresses with weird swirly patterns that seem to be reserved for the extremely obese from which the tips of two well worn burgundy carpet slippers could be seen peaking from the shadows. As she took the seat by me, almost crushing my right leg beneath her bulk before I saved myself by retreating into the far corners of my own I swear I heard the metal frame groan under the pressure. I found myself wondering how much weight a bus seat was built to take before it would collapse, or even worse, fall through the floor of the vehicle entirely, throwing its occupants under the mercilessly spinning rear wheels to a messy death - "So who are you voting for during the election? I'm voting Labour." A sickly sweet voice with posh, naval undertones interrupted my thoughts. Oh no. Oh FUCK NO! Why did I have to put up with the desperate old cunt who's so starved of human attention that they make it their mission in life to burden everyone else with awkward, stilted conversation about current events to feed their own pathetic needs. "I don't know. I've voted Labour in the past," I begin to explain, accepting my fate, but taking solace in the fact that my destination is now three stops away, "but I don't really think Corbyn is electable-" "Oh well I've always voted Labour, you see and I believe youngsters like yourself are failing to see Mr. Corbyn (Fucking MR. Corbyn) for what he truly is: the only one willing to speak up about your rights." Oh, I see what this is now. You're old and lonely and desperate for even the vaguest of human interaction, but you're also a rude cunt who speaks over people because you think you know best despite not even hearing their arguments. I accept my fate, slipping effortlessly into the role of conversation whore, filling in the empty spaces in her toxic, one sided, conversation with disinterested additions of "Yeah" and "Uh huh", counting down the stops as the self important cunt drawled on about the economy and Brexit. I noticed the two wasps from earlier apparently amend their differences and fly their way out through a window that was slightly more open then the rest due to a missing rubber seal, the lucky cunts... She's still droning on when my stop comes into view, something about how she "doesn't really get out much these days" but she always enjoys "good conversation with people" when she does when I interrupt her by asking her to press the bell for me. The dusty old cunt actually has the nerve to look rudely startled, like I just told her to fuck off. I got a Taxi home later. It cost £20 but it was worth every fucking penny. Fuck me, RK, this is like a Steely Dan nom, only shorter - sadly, I didn't read yours either. Have a strong (but succinct) word with yourself before doing this again. Kindest, The Internet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Punkape said: Depends.....I have a Golf runaround for London as well. Good evening Ape. Are you managing your cocktail of retro-vitals to stave off full blown AIDS..... He has a big box of balsa wood and some glue, will this help the poor wretch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 14 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Fuck me, RK, this is like a Steely Dan nom, only shorter - sadly, I didn't read yours either. Have a strong (but succinct) word with yourself before doing this again. Kindest, The Internet. Breaking news: A Welshman, a Scotsman and a Frenchman all reveal that they don't enjoy reading on the same nom... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 33 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Fuck me, RK, this is like a Steely Dan nom, only shorter - sadly, I didn't read yours either. Have a strong (but succinct) word with yourself before doing this again. Kindest, The Internet. I already likened it to one of TSDs, please keep up Bubs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: I already likened it to one of TSDs, please keep up Bubs. That's who you meant? I thought you were abbreviating some fancy Charles Dickens or George Orwell style twat. Well shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 7 minutes ago, Roadkill said: That's who you meant? I thought you were abbreviating some fancy Charles Dickens or George Orwell style twat. Well shit. Well shit? Is that a medieval term for 'someone appears to have defecated in our water supply'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 Of the last 6 mayors of New York, 5 have been earwigs with Giuliani, a potato, being the odd one out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Well shit? Is that a medieval term for 'someone appears to have defecated in our water supply'? No I just forgot a comma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 20 minutes ago, ratcum said: Of the last 6 mayors of New York, 5 have been earwigs with Giuliani, a potato, being the odd one out. Peter Stuyvesant, one of the founding fathers of New York was a packet of cigarettes, hope that helps make sense of all this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 7 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Then you are a stupid cunt.. lol .. fuck off .... Oh bravo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 12 minutes ago, Ape said: Oh bravo! Are you flying your model helicopter with the rest of your special needs group today ? Do you have Down's syndrome spasticity with AIDS and herpees ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 21 minutes ago, Punkape said: Are you flying your model helicopter with the rest of your special needs group today ? Do you have Down's syndrome spasticity with AIDS and herpees ? How long did it take the priest to fill your lungs with his vile spunk last night? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 21 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: How long did it take the priest to fill your lungs with his vile spunk last night? Gay pleb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 1 hour ago, Punkape said: Gay pleb. Snitching little shit who can't not tell tales out of school. Tell me, when you've finished wanking off the priest after confession do you both reminisce about the choir boy spit roasting games of your youth? p.s. you're a grassing little cunt, the worst kind of cry baby imaginable. This site is so much better when you're banned which is imminent. Eat shit and die cuntbrain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: Snitching little shit who can't not tell tales out of school. Tell me, when you've finished wanking off the priest after confession do you both reminisce about the choir boy spit roasting games of your youth? p.s. you're a grassing little cunt, the worst kind of cry baby imaginable. This site is so much better when you're banned which is imminent. Eat shit and die cuntbrain Did you visit Brady in Broadmoor ? ( Ian to you ). lol. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 3 minutes ago, Punkape said: Did you visit Brady in Broadmoor ? ( Ian to you ). lol. Fuck off. Yes of course I did. I gave him a picture of you and described the deviant shit you and the priests get up to with some of the move vulnerable members of the congregation. It turned his stomach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: Yes of course I did. I gave him a picture of you and described the deviant shit you and the priests get up to with some of the move vulnerable members of the congregation. It turned his stomach. Pervert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 13 hours ago, Roadkill said: Why in the name of fuck would you willingly ride on the bus four times?! This morning the public are sitting in the same four buses and saying ' can you smell stale piss? ' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 I was on a bus once. This man got on with a lemon in his ear. I asked him if it was a hearing aid and he said "No. It's a lemon aid". I'll get me rain Mac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I was on a bus once. This man got on with a lemon in his ear. I asked him if it was a hearing aid and he said "No. It's a lemon aid". I'll get me rain Mac. Apple Mac surely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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