Neil Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 If you don't live on a ranch in New England and you have decking you are a grade one cunt,next time you walk on it and do the splits I hope you lose vital internal organs and die slowly. Damp boards resemble walking on ice and it looks fucking shit.This is England so just concrete your garden you dopey cuntwad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 11 minutes ago, Neil said: If you don't live on a ranch in New England and you have decking you are a grade one cunt,next time you walk on it and do the splits I hope you lose vital internal organs and die slowly. Damp boards resemble walking on ice and it looks fucking shit.This is England so just concrete your garden you dopey cuntwad. There's a mild inference you may have fallen out with one of your neighbours. Did the husband catch you making off with his wife's knickers from their washing line? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 21 minutes ago, Neil said: If you don't live on a ranch in New England and you have decking you are a grade one cunt,next time you walk on it and do the splits I hope you lose vital internal organs and die slowly. Damp boards resemble walking on ice and it looks fucking shit.This is England so just concrete your garden you dopey cuntwad. But perfect for disposing dead prostitutes under when the back of your Bedford Rascal is a bit cluttered I'd imagine, you deviant cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 23 minutes ago, Wolfie said: There's a mild inference you may have fallen out with one of your neighbours. Did the husband catch you making off with his wife's knickers from their washing line? I never understood people stealing knickers from washing lines. Surely the entire point is to get them before they're clean... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 46 minutes ago, Neil said: If you don't live on a ranch in New England and you have decking you are a grade one cunt,next time you walk on it and do the splits I hope you lose vital internal organs and die slowly. Damp boards resemble walking on ice and it looks fucking shit.This is England so just concrete your garden you dopey cuntwad. Treat the decking with anti-slip wood stain, it works a treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 18 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: Treat the decking with anti-slip wood stain, it works a treat. Fascinating. Do tell us more, especially as the internet doesn't provide this information to budding home/DIY enthusiasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Concreting ones garden is a fucking disgrace. Shit nom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 9 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Fascinating. Do tell us more, especially as the internet doesn't provide this information to budding home/DIY enthusiasts. I'm sure it does. I think I picked up a few cans of the stuff at Homebase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted October 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 9 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Concreting ones garden is a fucking disgrace. Shit nom. It's called a patio,mine is 5 torsos long by 8 torsos wide. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 On 15/10/2017 at 11:43 AM, Neil said: It's called a patio,mine is 5 torsos long by 8 torsos wide. Also, the only time you've managed to get a leg over recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 9 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Concreting ones garden is a fucking disgrace. Shit nom. Where I live, Decking is classed as pretentious crap for faux upwardly mobile mongs. For practical purposes, the garden features of choice around here is either a fully hardened fire trench or an antipersonnel minefield. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 20 minutes ago, Manky said: Where I live, Decking is classed as pretentious crap for faux upwardly mobile mongs. For practical purposes, the garden features of choice around here is either a fully hardened fire trench or an antipersonnel minefield. What about decaying sofa's, ideally with springs poking out for that look of rugged authenticity? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Decking is expensive to install, maintain and is useless if one does not also own a rocking chair, old rusty shotgun and a supply of moonshine served in a rustic cider jug by moonfaced banjo playing children. The British naturally prefer a garden to be a marvel of nature and colour as opposed to the above. That why here in the west midlands we prefer a wild array of bindweed, nettles, and ragwort interspersed with colourful discarded mattresses, rusty washing machines and grease encased gas barbeques in our gardens, with care and sympathetic planning one can achieves wonders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 50 minutes ago, Neil said: It's called a patio,mine is 5 torsos long by 8 torsos wide. Was the work carried out by F.West building services, Gloucestershire? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 57 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: What about decaying sofa's, ideally with springs poking out for that look of rugged authenticity? The Japanese Knotweed ate them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 6 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: Treat the decking with anti-slip wood stain, it works a treat. You get on our Wickes you really do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: You get on our Wickes you really do. I was not aware that you possessed a "Wick" Gyps, unless you keep one in preserving fluid on the mantelpiece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Paving slabs all the way - Fred West had it right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Timber decking? How very working class. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hector Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 7 hours ago, Neil said: If you don't live on a ranch in New England and you have decking you are a grade one cunt,next time you walk on it and do the splits I hope you lose vital internal organs and die slowly. Damp boards resemble walking on ice and it looks fucking shit.This is England so just concrete your garden you dopey cuntwad. You want fucking decking for writing this shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted October 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 5 minutes ago, Hector said: You want fucking decking for writing this shit. Well done,7 hours it took but I was waiting for some cunt to post this,admittedly I thought it would be one of the other cunts but congratulations you win.Enjoy your prize of a bleach cocktail,ice makes it taste better.Knob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hector Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 25 minutes ago, Neil said: Well done,7 hours it took but I was waiting for some cunt to post this,admittedly I thought it would be one of the other cunts but congratulations you win.Enjoy your prize of a bleach cocktail,ice makes it taste better.Knob I know, I know, Neil. This is not the first time I have fallen for this particular machination in recent weeks. I’m done on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted October 26, 2017 Report Share Posted October 26, 2017 On 10/15/2017 at 11:15 AM, Mrs Roops said: Treat the decking with anti-slip wood stain, it works a treat. It doesn't really, I almost broke my neck after slipping on some stray jizz while peering through the neighbour's back windows, watching his Mrs do the ironing in the nude, what a cunt, literally ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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