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Amanda Holden, what's she for?


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On 27/10/2017 at 21:41, Stubby Pecker said:

It's a very strange situation indeed. On one hand Holden just the kind of dumb slag most dirty fuckers would love to chuck their muck on, and over the years she's obviously been dowsed in the stuff from dozens of ball sacks. However, there's something about her that men hate; the stupidity, the pointless nudity-she's on a family show ffs. Just do a nasty porno and complete your transformation from talentless wannabe to talentless whore, but keep up the Botox 

She's good for one thing only, Stubbs. Bent over on all fours and taking the Majors load. I'd probably stretch to a nosh for a starter, but absolutely no conversation. "Nice one Mandy, there's a score on the dresser", then I'm off... 

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34 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

She's good for one thing only, Stubbs. Bent over on all fours and taking the Majors load. I'd probably stretch to a nosh for a starter, but absolutely no conversation. "Nice one Mandy, there's a score on the dresser", then I'm off... 

That's what I like about this site; full of gentlemen. 

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9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

What a lovely thought.

You’re very welcome. And for clarification, I didn’t mean they made you piss yourself laughing, either. You know what I meant. One distant backfire from a rusting Bedford Rascal will leave you breathless, weak-knee’d and craving nicotine. 

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2 minutes ago, Joker said:

You only get 'gentlemen' in Britain, everywhere else is populated by cunts!

Very true. Only last night, I was watching some shit with Keeley Hawes in it. And I thought to myself that I'd quite like to tongue-mop her cunt, smash her flaps in and spunk on her tits. 

I'm a throwback to a more genteel and chivalrous age.

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Very true. Only last night, I was watching some shit with Keeley Hawes in it. And I thought to myself that I'd quite like to tongue-mop her cunt, smash her flaps in and spunk on her tits. 

I'm a throwback to a more genteel and chivalrous age.

I'd go one step further and piss on her tits to clean her off,im not a fucking animal you know,you can't expect the poor girl to mop it up herself.

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19 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

East Anglia's very own David Niven. 

On the subject of East Anglia, have you managed to top the all time leader board yet? Frank reckons he's getting parole in early October, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled with the achievement, Eric! 

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5 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

On the subject of East Anglia, have you managed to top the all time leader board yet? Frank reckons he's getting parole in early October, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled with the achievement, Eric! 

I don't know if I can face him. As I said, his being unable to post makes it a hollow victory.

I doubt Fauntleroy is in the know regarding Decs release date either. 

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7 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Can you be bent over on all fours? Is it not “bent over” or “on all fours”?

Otherwise faultless Major, and bravo on the etiquette. £20 is a bit steep mind. 

£20? He’d be very disappointed if he turned up at ‘King Billys Sauna and Massage’ waving a score about like Jeffrey Epstein.  Mrs Lewandowski the septuagenarian cleaner might stick her finger up his arse, put her teeth in and smile for him, depends if she’d finished the hoovering or not.

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40 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Worked one her house once, didn't get a tea or a thankyou, i often regret not then having a shit in her garden 

I know a minor personality from 'Dream 100' radio. She's known as 'Kelly The Cleaner'. She tried to interview her once and said she was a rude, arrogant cunt.

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9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I know a minor personality from 'Dream 100' radio. She's known as 'Kelly The Cleaner'. 

I wonder how many doormen she knows? A few, perhaps, but there can't be too many gun aficionados among them who also happen to be Charlton fans. 

Let the social engineering begin.

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18 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I know a minor personality from 'Dream 100' radio. She's known as 'Kelly The Cleaner'. She tried to interview her once and said she was a rude, arrogant cunt.

Why did she want to interview the cleaner? Especially a rude arrogant cunt of a cleaner?

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2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Why did she want to interview the cleaner? Especially a rude arrogant cunt of a cleaner?

Kelly started as a cleaner at the radio station, but she's got a very entertaining personality, so they made her a roving reporter. She was trying to interview the Holden thing. Holden barged past her, yelling 'don't you know who I am!'

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7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I know a minor personality from 'Dream 100' radio. She's known as 'Kelly The Cleaner'. She tried to interview her once and said she was a rude, arrogant cunt.

I reckon its the aftermath of shagging les dennis, fully blown ptsd triggering the self loathing which in turn would make her act like a thundercunt. She should cheer up, could have been barrymore 

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