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Cunts Who Say “I’m Not Being Funny But.......”


Ape™️

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I’m struggling to find the words to fully express my hatred of this. So what you’re telling me is you’re about to say something really serious, or don’t wish to offend me, are you? Well cunt, the English language has many, many other ways to convey these sentiments, that won’t make you sound like a thick piece of shit. Wankers that use this phrase will also say “then he/she turned around and said.....”, which is also massively cuntish.

Fuck Off.

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2 hours ago, Ape said:

I’m struggling to find the words to fully express my hatred of this. So what you’re telling me is you’re about to say something really serious, or don’t wish to offend me, are you? Well cunt, the English language has many, many other ways to convey these sentiments, that won’t make you sound like a thick piece of shit. Wankers that use this phrase will also say “then he/she turned around and said.....”, which is also massively cuntish.

Fuck Off.

I've always found that when somebody says "I'm not being funny, but..", it usually means they are about to be snidey or offensive and are merely trying to pre-emptively excuse their own cuntishness. Much the same as when the same cunts begin a sentence with "no offence but..", which means they are about to cause offence and they fucking well know it. The same cunts misuse the word 'obviously' in every sentence as well because they think it makes them sound intelligent. The perfect example is something I heard spoken by a fat chav to a doctors receptionist a while ago: "obviously, we've booked a holiday for that week so I can't make that appointment". How the fuck is it obvious to anyone that you've booked a holiday until you tell them. Thick fucking cunt.

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4 hours ago, Ape said:

I’m struggling to find the words to fully express my hatred of this. So what you’re telling me is you’re about to say something really serious, or don’t wish to offend me, are you? Well cunt, the English language has many, many other ways to convey these sentiments, that won’t make you sound like a thick piece of shit. Wankers that use this phrase will also say “then he/she turned around and said.....”, which is also massively cuntish.

Fuck Off.

Don't get me started on "So I turned round and said.....and then he turned round and said". Then they say " So then he turned round and said"....so what does that mean? Are you now facing away from each other or are you facing him and he has his back turned away? Or were you standing back to back and he turned round? Oh fuck it 

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5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't get me started on "So I turned round and said.....and then he turned round and said". Then they say " So then he turned round and said"....so what does that mean? Are you now facing away from each other or are you facing him and he has his back turned away? Or were you standing back to back and he turned round? Oh fuck it 

It's a deal.

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34 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't get me started on "So I turned round and said.....and then he turned round and said". Then they say " So then he turned round and said"....so what does that mean? Are you now facing away from each other or are you facing him and he has his back turned away? Or were you standing back to back and he turned round? Oh fuck it 

And this one..."he goes..and then I go..an' then he goes..". If you've both gone, how the fuck did this conversation take place?

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15 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't get me started on "So I turned round and said.....and then he turned round and said". Then they say " So then he turned round and said"....so what does that mean? Are you now facing away from each other or are you facing him and he has his back turned away? Or were you standing back to back and he turned round? Oh fuck it 

None of the above in fact.

Both are so busy spinning like a top, they have bored (in every sense of the word) their way to Middle Earth.

The story does have a happy ending though in that hitherto unknown oil reserves have been found. Generated from the organic detritus from dead dwarves and Hobbits, it's a particularly powerful residue that can power a Mini Metro 1700-plus miles on one tankful of 4-Star.

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Guest Lady Penelope
16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I've always found that when somebody says "I'm not being funny, but..", it usually means they are about to be snidey or offensive and are merely trying to pre-emptively excuse their own cuntishness. Much the same as when the same cunts begin a sentence with "no offence but..", which means they are about to cause offence and they fucking well know it. The same cunts misuse the word 'obviously' in every sentence as well because they think it makes them sound intelligent. The perfect example is something I heard spoken by a fat chav to a doctors receptionist a while ago: "obviously, we've booked a holiday for that week so I can't make that appointment". How the fuck is it obvious to anyone that you've booked a holiday until you tell them. Thick fucking cunt.

Obviously, like, you know what I mean, no offence but I am not being funny.

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Guest Lady Penelope
15 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't get me started on "So I turned round and said.....and then he turned round and said". Then they say " So then he turned round and said"....so what does that mean? Are you now facing away from each other or are you facing him and he has his back turned away? Or were you standing back to back and he turned round? Oh fuck it 

50 years ago it was common to say "I told him/her flat blank". What the fuck does "flat blank" mean?

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6 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

50 years ago it was common to say "I told him/her flat blank". What the fuck does "flat blank" mean?

I may be wrong but I think it derives from the old naval term for laying a cannon if it was level (flat)  the range was said to be point blank as in no degrees of elevation ..but that could be bollox

Panzerknacker 

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Guest Lady Penelope
4 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

I may be wrong but I think it derives from the old naval term for laying a cannon if it was level (flat)  the range was said to be point blank as in no degrees of elevation ..but that could be bollox

Panzerknacker 

Probably right.

 

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54 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

I may be wrong but I think it derives from the old naval term for laying a cannon if it was level (flat)  the range was said to be point blank as in no degrees of elevation ..but that could be bollox

Panzerknacker 

Sounds like you're swinging the lead there,  Panzer. 

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